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Aesthetic Attraction vs. Aesthetic Appreciation


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letusdeleteouraccounts

So I was surfing the internet to answer a question of mine and I stumbled upon a reddit post. In the post, someone discusses their frustrations with people comparing aesthetic attraction with looking at pretty  pictures. I read and thought about it and I was like this makes so much sense! The analogy was always weird to me and have never used it to describe my attraction. Aesthetic attraction has always been something so much deeper than that for me.

 

When I experience aesthetic attraction, it’s a weird feeling like a pull to their presence. The feeling will course through my body like my heart just dropped as the feeling urges me to come closer to the person and their beauty. I agree with the thought the person makes that people whose only feeling of this is comparable to looking at a painting probably don’t experience aesthetic attraction. The better term for it might be aesthetic appreciation which I imagine everyone can have without things like gendered biases

 

 

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Purple Red Panda
16 minutes ago, Star Lion said:

When I experience aesthetic attraction, it’s a weird feeling like a pull to their presence. The feeling will course through my body like my heart just dropped as the feeling urges me to come closer to the person and their beauty.

I know the feeling. If I'm honest I actually used to think I was experiencing sexual attraction when I felt this especially if it was combined with sensual attraction.

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Man of the Stoa
26 minutes ago, Star Lion said:

I agree with the thought the person makes that people whose only feeling of this is comparable to looking at a painting probably don’t experience aesthetic attraction.

I agreed with you with everything up to this point. I do think aesthetic attraction is more than something just being visually pleasing, but I also think art can evoke that response. I've seen people moved to tears by it, and in one instance seen someone convert, changing faith and becoming alienated by family because the powerful beauty drove them to such an intense feeling of rapture and worship.

 

I do agree in principle, though. Obviously paintings don't typically do that, people just admire their appearance for a couple of minutes and then move on, rather than feeling a compulsion to dedicate themselves to the painting in some way. Before your post, I had simply presumed that what attraction was just appreciation in a more intense form. And perhaps that is so, but even still they see distinct enough to warrant distinguishing them. I mean, despair is just more intense gloominess, but since one can lead to total isolation or suicide they're still pretty distinct.

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letusdeleteouraccounts
4 minutes ago, Man of the Stoa said:

I agreed with you with everything up to this point. I do think aesthetic attraction is more than something just being visually pleasing, but I also think art can evoke that response. I've seen people moved to tears by it, and in one instance seen someone convert, changing faith and becoming alienated by family because the powerful beauty drove them to such an intense feeling of rapture and worship.

I wasn’t even thinking of that to the honest 😅 I haven’t seen anyone describe aesthetic attraction like that either. Their analogies are always focusing on the “visually appealing” aspect rather than anything in depth so I suppose that’s why I said what I did. I see your point with it being a little too generalizing on that aspect though

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Like others, I generally agree but think aesthetic attraction can still be triggered by something like pictures, or views, or things other than people. Traditional art doesn't really trigger anything other than appreciation for me, but some amazing anime or views just affect me in a way I'm unable to express and I feel appreciation isn't enough to cover the depth of my emotions. 

 

So I'm cool with aesthetic attraction being deeper than aesthetic appreciation, but it's still true we can be aesthetically attracted to many things, including paintings. 

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I agree that there is a difference. I can appreciate a lot of aesthetic pleasantness on a surface level, but some thing (not just people, but art or nature) hit me in the soul in indescribable ways.

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Alejandrogynous

I understand what they're getting at but I feel like it's more different intensities of the same thing rather than, "if you're not emotionally moved, it doesn't count." I can go to an art gallery and think lots of things are pretty or nice to look at, but not everything moves me to tears or makes me think I need that piece in my home to look at forever. I'm attracted aesthetically to all of it or else I wouldn't enjoy looking at it, sometimes for a while or going back multiple times, but some things just hit on a deeper level. I've felt that longing they describe so I know what they mean and it IS different, but it still doesn't feel like an entirely different.. way of experiencing that feeling, if that makes sense?.. to require a different label.

 

It's like saying a sexual person thinking, "yep, I'd have sex with them," and another sexual person thinking, "wow, I NEED to have sex with them," aren't both experiencing sexual attraction. They are, just to different degrees towards that particular person in that particular circumstance.

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Man of the Stoa
8 minutes ago, Alejandrogynous said:

I understand what they're getting at but I feel like it's more different intensities of the same thing rather than, "if you're not emotionally moved, it doesn't count." I can go to an art gallery and think lots of things are pretty or nice to look at, but not everything moves me to tears or makes me think I need that piece in my home to look at forever. I'm attracted aesthetically to all of it or else I wouldn't enjoy looking at it, sometimes for a while or going back multiple times, but some things just hit on a deeper level. I've felt that longing they describe so I know what they mean and it IS different, but it still doesn't feel like an entirely different.. way of experiencing that feeling, if that makes sense?.. to require a different label.

 

It's like saying a sexual person thinking, "yep, I'd have sex with them," and another sexual person thinking, "wow, I NEED to have sex with them," aren't both experiencing sexual attraction. They are, just to different degrees towards that particular person in that particular circumstance.

Even so, I get what the OP is getting at. The experiences are very different, and if you say you're aesthetically attracted to something and someone else is like, "Oh yeah, I felt that too once looking at some fireflies", you can see why that might be belittling. A bit like someone feeling so overcome with rage that they're on the verge of murder and saying, "I feel anger" and someone else saying, "Oh yeah, I felt that too once having to stay late at work." Both are anger to different degrees, but the change in degree completely changes the experience.

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Alejandrogynous
36 minutes ago, Man of the Stoa said:

Even so, I get what the OP is getting at. The experiences are very different, and if you say you're aesthetically attracted to something and someone else is like, "Oh yeah, I felt that too once looking at some fireflies", you can see why that might be belittling. A bit like someone feeling so overcome with rage that they're on the verge of murder and saying, "I feel anger" and someone else saying, "Oh yeah, I felt that too once having to stay late at work." Both are anger to different degrees, but the change in degree completely changes the experience.

Yeah, I totally get that. But also (not to derail so I'll try to be as brief as possible), isn't that the frustration a lot of sexual people here on AVEN have, trying to explain to asexuals that sexual attraction isn't JUST instant physical lust or the overwhelming desire to have sex with someone or whatever other very narrow parameters they're defining it by? Sexual attraction is as nuanced and varied as the people experiencing it, same with romantic attraction, so I don't see why aesthetic attraction shouldn't be allowed the same range of experience. Just because someone else experiences it differently/more intensely - or you experience it more differently/intensely in other circumstances - doesn't mean it's not still the same thing at its core.

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1 hour ago, Alejandrogynous said:

Yeah, I totally get that. But also (not to derail so I'll try to be as brief as possible), isn't that the frustration a lot of sexual people here on AVEN have, trying to explain to asexuals that sexual attraction isn't JUST instant physical lust or the overwhelming desire to have sex with someone or whatever other very narrow parameters they're defining it by? Sexual attraction is as nuanced and varied as the people experiencing it, same with romantic attraction, so I don't see why aesthetic attraction shouldn't be allowed the same range of experience. Just because someone else experiences it differently/more intensely - or you experience it more differently/intensely in other circumstances - doesn't mean it's not still the same thing at its core.

I think some of the distinction between aesthetic attraction vs appreciation is like attraction vs attractability. We might aesthetically appreciate people or things whom we understand have an element of attractability - in that they hold features that are widely desired by other people, and we understand and acknowledge that. I can appreciate the aesthetics of some of the people my friends say they find sexually attractive, for example. But like sexual people will feel very differently towards people who legitimately and deeply attract them, versus people whom they know are good-looking by common standards, it's quite a different experience to feel individually allured by something that's aesthetically beautiful. It's a matter of degree, yes, but it does start to feel very different when it becomes so intensely personal and moving on so many levels that don't factor into simple pretty pictures.

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AceMissBehaving

I agree there’s a difference between attraction and appreciation, and it’s a lot like you describe. There are people I can recognize as being genuinely physically beautiful people, but who do absolutely nothing for me. Then there are the odd people who for some reason are just mesmerizing. Like I almost can’t look away, and I’m genuinely pulled into wanting to know for about them. 

 

There is some art to me that is kind of like that, but yeah it’s definitely more than just registering as visually pleasing.

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When I thought I had a crush on someone, it was exactly like this. I didn't want to talk to them really or interact with them, but I felt pulled towards them. It's more than just looking at someone and thinking 'Oh, they're good looking'.

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letusdeleteouraccounts
8 hours ago, Alejandrogynous said:

Yeah, I totally get that. But also (not to derail so I'll try to be as brief as possible), isn't that the frustration a lot of sexual people here on AVEN have, trying to explain to asexuals that sexual attraction isn't JUST instant physical lust or the overwhelming desire to have sex with someone or whatever other very narrow parameters they're defining it by? Sexual attraction is as nuanced and varied as the people experiencing it, same with romantic attraction, so I don't see why aesthetic attraction shouldn't be allowed the same range of experience. Just because someone else experiences it differently/more intensely - or you experience it more differently/intensely in other circumstances - doesn't mean it's not still the same thing at its core.

I think aesthetic attraction and aesthetic appreciation are fundamentally different. Like what Snao Cone said about attraction vs. attractability. Just thinking someone or something is pretty isn’t an attraction, it’s purely just a recognition of their attractability according to societal standards I’d say. In order for anything to qualify as an attraction, you have to be emotionally pulled towards the person that your feelings are directed at

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Wow, after reading all of the descriptions you gave here about aesthetic attraction, I actually think I've nevr even experienced any kind of attraction, only appreciation. I don't know the feeling of someone "pulling you in". I just find people interesting, funny, beautiful... because I choose to. The only times I maybe feel the need to touch someone or get closer is when I'm tipsy and cuddly or something 😄.

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Janus the Fox

I like the addition of that describing ‘wanting an object’ rather than ‘simple recognition’ in terms of Aesthetic Attraction.  Perhaps an analogy here is that recognising aesthetic art is different to actually owning it.  I’ve described my Aesthetics for any Gender in Aesthetic Philosophy terms but there isn’t any ‘Attraction’ if ‘Attraction’ means ‘ownership’.  This for more certain terms means I’m without Aesthetic Attraction as well.

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Alejandrogynous
9 hours ago, Snao Cone (me) said:

I think some of the distinction between aesthetic attraction vs appreciation is like attraction vs attractability. We might aesthetically appreciate people or things whom we understand have an element of attractability - in that they hold features that are widely desired by other people, and we understand and acknowledge that. I can appreciate the aesthetics of some of the people my friends say they find sexually attractive, for example. But like sexual people will feel very differently towards people who legitimately and deeply attract them, versus people whom they know are good-looking by common standards, it's quite a different experience to feel individually allured by something that's aesthetically beautiful. It's a matter of degree, yes, but it does start to feel very different when it becomes so intensely personal and moving on so many levels that don't factor into simple pretty pictures.

See, maybe this is just me being pedantic, but I wouldn't call being able to understand what other people find attractive (attractability) as appreciation either. My sister and I have very different tastes (in people and in other things) and while I can step back and objectively see why she likes the things she does, I'm not personally attracted or appreciative toward them. I can understand it, I get why she likes them, but it's not personal to me. My own aesthetic preferences on the other hand are very personal to me, whether it's something I pause at for a moment or spend hours upon hours getting lost in.


I guess when someone says aesthetic attraction is like looking at a beautiful painting, I assume they mean a painting that they find beautiful and that they want to look at. Else why bother calling it anything? How would that experience even be significant enough to register as something to put a label on if they don't personally feel anything towards it? The Reddit OP is saying aesthetic attraction is more than looking at a pretty picture but I think they're underestimating what looking at a pretty picture can do to people.

 

I'm clearly in the minority here and I consider myself to have a strong sense of aesthetics so maybe I'm just having a hard time conceptualizing what it would be like to not have that. I don't even know what looking at something beautiful and having zero emotions toward it would even feel like. Because then I wouldn't call it beautiful in the first place? Unless prompted by someone else, I guess. I used to get very confused about my feelings toward people because I didn't understand the difference between aesthetic and sexual/romantic attractions, but even after have figured that one, my aesthetics didn't change. I still find the same people attractive, I still like the same things. It's personal to me, even the "little things" in passing. None of it feels like I'm just acknowledging attractability.

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Man of the Stoa
8 hours ago, Alejandrogynous said:

I can understand it, I get why she likes them, but it's not personal to me.

Nah, I totally get this, and I'm with you that it's a difference of intensity. Keeping up the art parallel, I don't like rap music. I can find it lyrically interesting, I can admire the complexity of it's rhymes, I can appreciate it as technically difficult. None of that means I find it beautiful, though. I've never heard the term "attractability" before, but it certainly doesn't sound like any actual appreciation, just a coldly rational understanding of what others are typically attracted to.

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An analogy. Appreciate an Audi R8 for its styling, want a Lamborghini Huracán for its styling, yet they're fundamentally the same car

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On 6/9/2020 at 5:39 PM, Purple Red Panda said:

I know the feeling. If I'm honest I actually used to think I was experiencing sexual attraction when I felt this especially if it was combined with sensual attraction.

ME TOO! I thought that was what normal people thought! It confused me soo much because I thought maybe I was bisexual or pansexual, but I couldn't picture myself living with or marrying a woman. Sometimes there are just really attractive people I find and I like looking at them or feel a little pulled to them (which is usually guys).

 

Yet, apparently seeing someone and wanting to be intimate with them is the normal? Like okay, creepy.... 😕 

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letusdeleteouraccounts
2 hours ago, Lyss06 said:

Yet, apparently seeing someone and wanting to be intimate with them is the normal? Like okay, creepy.... 😕

Attraction is an incredibly creepy thing when you think about it 😂

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Janus the Fox

Any unwanted attraction is going to be creepy and rather quite abnormal and creepy to me.

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I wonder if the diminishment of aesthetic attraction here is actually cus its pretty rare? I understand the feeling OP is talking about but it has always been packaged up with my romantic attraction. I would save I've only ever felt aesthetic attraction divorced from romantic attraction once in my life. 

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letusdeleteouraccounts
8 hours ago, henshin said:

I wonder if the diminishment of aesthetic attraction here is actually cus its pretty rare? I understand the feeling OP is talking about but it has always been packaged up with my romantic attraction. I would save I've only ever felt aesthetic attraction divorced from romantic attraction once in my life. 

That would be fair. I’m aroace so the attraction really sticks out for me

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I've felt aesthetic attraction individually, but I always just assumed it was romantic attraction or something until I learned the difference. I don't think I'm aro, I just experience aesthetic attraction a lot more.

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12 hours ago, henshin said:

I understand the feeling OP is talking about but it has always been packaged up with my romantic attraction.

Agreed... as I was reading the reddit portion, I was thinking “I’ve had exactly that feeling but I would call it romantic attraction/a crush.”

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