Karst Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 An interesting article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202005/darker-side-singlism-discrimination-in-the-legal-code The issues the author talks about aren't unique to asexual and/or aromantic people, but I think they're relevant to our community. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 From the same author: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201911/definitive-guide-singlism-matrimania-and-related-biases Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Yup! These are the types of things I typically think about but rarely see discussed in ace, aro, or even celibate spaces. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Good articles, but kind of obvious to us folks who are already single. Married people are pretty oblivious to this stuff, really. Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 I feel like discussing this is worthwhile, but the tone of the article seems...overly dire to me. Yes, there are situations where the laws favor those who are married...that was part of homosexual people's argument towards marriage, the tax breaks and insurance sharing was just as important to some as the ring and ceremony. But this article seems to me to be pointing it out as an almost intentional or directed discrimination, and to me it seems more like a case of people falling through the cracks, which happens in many places for many reasons. Single people don't get the same tax breaks because of the (increasingly incorrect) assumption that they don't have dependents, or multiple people living off one income. People aren't able to use their friend's health insurance because the system is not currently set up in a way that would make it easy to catch fraud cases (multiple friends using one insurance policy). Wedding showers were meant to give the couple their 'starter appliances' so they've got things around the house to use, since it was assumed that A: one of them is going to work less and have more time to prep and cook 'proper' meals, and B: they'd just spent thousands and thousands of dollars on the wedding and didn't have the scratch for a toaster oven. There were reasons at the time these things were implemented that seemed only fair, but things are different now. Personally, I think with several of these things, the solution isn't 'give single people the same thing', its 'stop giving it to married people'. The military spending money sending people places for vacation makes little sense to me, even if its for a 'congratulations' on a big life event. Its nice and all, but that's not what a military is for. Maybe if friends and family want to send someone off and away, that's a nice story, but having what is essentially a government corporation using taxpayer money to do things for specific individuals feels off to me. Link to post Share on other sites
AceAnimeFan Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 The articles are thought provoking and it's not like I wasn't aware of stigma against single people but I never really thought about it before. Having it lied out in front of me has been eye opening. I agree with @Scottthespy that rather than giving these benefits to single people as well they should simply no longer be given to married people because in both cases the benefits are unearned, and the law is treating single people as less than married people. I disagree, however, that this isn't intentional: these laws were written in a way so as to give unearned benefits to people based only on the fact that they are married, that text was not necessary when writing, for example, tax laws, someone deliberately added it. Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 2 hours ago, AceAnimeFan said: The articles are thought provoking and it's not like I wasn't aware of stigma against single people but I never really thought about it before. Having it lied out in front of me has been eye opening. I agree with @Scottthespy that rather than giving these benefits to single people as well they should simply no longer be given to married people because in both cases the benefits are unearned, and the law is treating single people as less than married people. I disagree, however, that this isn't intentional: these laws were written in a way so as to give unearned benefits to people based only on the fact that they are married, that text was not necessary when writing, for example, tax laws, someone deliberately added it. There was a time, back when these laws were written, where the man would work and the woman would stay home. They received tax benefits because they required enough space and resources for two or more (children) people on one income. Since this was a time when women weren't easily able to work and there was a reasonable assumption that everyone was going to get married, it was assumed that these laws applied to everyone. The laws aren't intentionally biased against single people, they're just woefully outdated and no longer applicable to reality. No one sat down and said 'how can we screw over the singles?'. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 6 hours ago, Scottthespy said: I feel like discussing this is worthwhile, but the tone of the article seems...overly dire to me. Not surprising considering the source. I looked at that magazine in the library a few times; nah, not doing that anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyHoh Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 The only issue that is sad to is that I have my mum as dependent and she is raising my baby while I work but we will never get the same benefits as if the father would have raised the child while married to me. It is causing me a lot of resentment over my asexuality/ I cannot stay married to him and have sex so my current family model cannot be considered as legit😕. Link to post Share on other sites
Priestess de Mantinea Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 Actually there is a very recent article in Psychology Today that specifically deals with asexuality: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202005/biased-against-asexuals-let-me-count-the-ways Link to post Share on other sites
KathyHoh Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 she cited this paper. Shows how people sub consciously dehumanize Asexuals https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1368430212442419 Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 Definitely need more articles that cover the stigma in life and policy towards singledom. Its so utterly ingrained in society that it messed me up for a long time trying to fit into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Divide By Zero Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 Several years ago I read Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty. I was shocked to read that in some European countries post WWII there were taxes levied against people who were single and over a certain age (usually mid-twenties). The purpose of the taxes was to encourage people to get married. Societies around the world are so obsessed with marriage and assuming that everyone gets married, that as a result countries have developed their laws and tax systems on the assumption that everyone gets married and has kids and the husband works while the wife stays at home. Things have changed a lot but unfortunately governments haven't kept up with the changes so single people and people in non traditional relationship are getting unfairly penalized. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 "Singlism" sounds like a diagnosis. Everything is fine over here TYVM Link to post Share on other sites
Masterman Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 I've read many an article by that autor. Most of them are pretty good at pointing the injustices against single people. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.