Jump to content

I'm not sure about how I feel about this relationship


Cats_are_cool

Recommended Posts

Cats_are_cool

Hey everyone, 

I've sorta recently just left a relationship where I was poorly treated, like neglected. This guy would barely show any consideration, affection of any sort e.t.c. and would barely make any time for me. So I had broke things off after a couple of disappointing years with him. I was under the impression that I had wanted physical affection like hugs, cuddles, kisses and e.t.c. Before I had broken up i had started to see a psychologist as i thought something was wrong with me for the way he was treating me. She helped me through the last legs of that relationship, and after a few weeks had passed after breaking up with him she had noticed some behaviors that aligned with having high functioning autism. She had ended up diagnosing me confirming some of my feelings and suspisions about some of my behaviors (such as not having a strong desire to be social, having bad social anxiety, having a strong need for alone time e.t.c.).

 

A fair bit after that I start talking to a guy and we get together. All of a sudden he seems to wanna touch me more and be affectionate and such, and mind you I do really like this guy's personality and find it attractive and since I'm a demisexual I don't have a sexual attraction yet as we don't have a close bond yet, I dunno if that sexual attraction could come as it's very rare for me. Like that previous relationship was the only serious relationship I've had, and I had sort of developed a sexual attraction it was kind of on the weaker side. Sometimes I can develop a deep emotional bond with a fictional character that I can find sexually appealing after being really familiar with them.

 

Anyways, now that the tables have turned. (As usually I would develop a crush on the other person and pursue them first). This guy is a 180 from the previous guy. I'm very confused about my feelings. I'm not too comfortable of the sudden change of touching and i'm honestly unsure about where I stand with physical affection.. it might be too early to tell or it could be due to my autistic tendencies of not wanting to be touched, I just feel very unsure about how I should go. I'm wavering weather I'm demiromantic or I just feel uncomfortable form bad experiences..

 

I have also noticed that I am very repulsed when I see PDA of any kind. I sort of feel I wouldn't mind myself but I'm honestly not sure... I plan to mention this to my psychologist when I see her next.

Link to post
Share on other sites
brbdogsonfire

There is no harm in talking to them about you being unsure. If I was in there shoes I would understand.  

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cats_are_cool
On 6/1/2020 at 3:35 PM, brbdogsonfire said:

There is no harm in talking to them about you being unsure. If I was in there shoes I would understand.  

Yeah, I had ended up speaking to him and he was very understanding of my situation and feels sort of similar too.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...