How do you know that you're romantically attracted?

[JustSomeAce]

So I've wondered for quite a while now if I'm aromantic or not and I kinda got stuck on one question:

How do you know if you're romantically attracted to someone? How can you tell that you have a crush on someone and don't just feel sensually attracted?

 

It's probably a weird thing to ask, but I'm really curious about it. 

[HopefullySomething]

I'm very curious about this too- Thanks for asking!

[JustSomeAce]

Just now, HopefullySomething said:

I'm very curious about this too- Thanks for asking!

You're welcome! After all we're here to figure these things out, right? 😉

[Philip027]

Step 1, you need to figure out and write down what it is you consider to be romantic.  Got that down?  Good.

 

Now, step 2, look over that list.  Is any of that stuff something you desire to have with your crush/partner/whoever?

 

If yes: romantic attraction!  Yay!

If no: not romantic attraction!  Yay!

 

If you aren't able to complete step 1, then the question is pointless and can't be answered.  Romance is a subjective thing; we can't say for you what you think is romantic.

 

Quote

How can you tell that you have a crush on someone and don't just feel sensually attracted?

I don't experience physical/sensual attraction, so for me at least, there's that going for me.

[JustSomeAce]

Thanks for the advice 💜 

But actually I didn't intend to find out if I feel romantically attracted.

I meant it more along the lines of how romantic people experience it, unless that can also not be answered, then I'll accept that too.

(I think I didn't clarify that good enough, sorry)

[GingerRose]

1 hour ago, JustSomeAce said:

How do you know if you're romantically attracted to someone? How can you tell that you have a crush on someone and don't just feel sensually attracted?

 

Oxytocin chemical release: it feels good to have physical touch with someone by hand holding, hugging, and cuddling (and kisses). Romantic attraction is very much about physical touch that isn't sexual. Touch is a language of care that partners can express for each other with out the stimulation of sexual organs. When I have a crush on someone I get butterflies in my stomach and smile a lot. It's not sensual because I don't think about sensual things with them with I see their face, I just feel happy and awkward.

[weird elf]

^ That. Also pretty much what Philip said, other factors that define romantic attraction to me personally, and wanting that with said person.

Even though I can't say I'm the quickest at recognizing what exactly it is I feel for someone. I may have had a crush for a year before realizing what was going on. So I'm probably not the best person to ask because most of the time my answer to "how do you know" is probably "I don't". 🙃

[Artemis42]

Honestly, I can’t say for sure. At some point I just realized that the strong platonic emotional attraction I felt for the person morphed into something different and more romantic. The sensual attraction might come along a bit later. I think of romance as a kind of different flavour of friendship. It’s like, friendship on steroids. I still wanna be their friend, but it’s different from a squish. It’s such a distinct feeling to me and it’s really hard to describe. I start doing some of the typical crush things: I start thinking about the other person a LOT, sometimes I get a “melting” feeling from them, I feel the “anxious-euphoria” I’ve read about before. And sensual attraction adds a whole other layer to it. 

[binary suns]

I honestly don’t know. I’m demiromantic and in the past I’ve had people I felt deeply for. I guess I just knew they were special. I don’t remember though, I have a more in depth understanding of attraction now than I did then, so I don’t have memory of what it was like.