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Is there a difference between sexual attraction and sexual desire?


binary suns

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binary suns

Is sexual attraction different from sexual desire or are they the same thing? How do they differ?

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Abigail Rose

Attraction would suggest a certain specific person, where desire could just be that you are ready for a place to focus that attention. Just my thought on it. 

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To me attraction is just directed desire.  "I want sex with someone" vs "I want sex with you specifically"

 

So no, not different in any significant way.  Either one points toward not being ace.

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The eternal question.    How we define  the eterms  does not really make  something vaild or  not valid.  attraction vs desire  both  have the same root  which is the "self"  now  the question would be is that from the true self or  a shadow...  Which only you are able to  truly  find the answer to that question.  Why worry about terms  just  be in the moment and everything else does not matter.  My two cents. 

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Gifted With Singleness

In terms of defining asexuality, sexual attraction and sexual desire are pretty much equivalent. But if you really want to be pedantic about it, I suppose that the term "sexual attraction", understood correctly, can have more explanatory power in describing how sexual desire manifests itself.

 

Think about how magnets attract each other. The magnets exert attractive forces on each other that pull them closer together. The closer the magnets are to each other, the stronger the force of attraction is. Eventually, these magnets will touch each other, provided that there are no external forces preventing this from happening.

 

I suppose that sexual attraction operates pretty similarly. As an example, let's say that someone catches your eye. You don't want to have sex with them in that moment, but you do want to look at them. By looking at them, you begin to notice their personality, which makes you want to spend time with them. The more time you spend with them, the more of an emotional connection you feel. This results in romantic feelings, and you ask the person out on a date. While dating, you begin to show each other more and more physical affection. Then one day, in the middle of a passionate make out session, you begin to want sex. But even though you only wanted to have sex when you were making out, it can still make sense to say that you were sexually attracted to that person from the moment they first caught your eye. You were attracted to this person in such a way that, if you let this attraction guide your actions and don't resist, you naturally end up having sex.

 

To be clear, that is just one example, and sexual attraction isn't always experienced in that one particular way. I just brought it up to illustrate that you can define sexual attraction as "the process that leads to sexual desire", making the terms technically different. Still, they go hand in hand, which is why, when it comes to defining asexuality, it doesn't really matter which term you use.

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I think these are both very fuzzy and vague terms, so it's probably better to ask "what do you mean when you say sexual attraction/desire" rather than assume that everyone agrees that there is a strict difference between the two. 

 

 

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