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I need a new word


ItsAMeRachio

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ItsAMeRachio

I want a word that has the same power as "sexy" or "hot" but doesn't have sexual connotations. I basically want a word that means exactly the same thing as "sexy", but when I say it it doesn't mean I am feeling sexual attraction. As someone with strong aesthetic attraction sometimes I watch or see someone and the best word I can think to describe it is "hot" or "sexy" but I don't mean it in a sexual way. It's so hard to explain because those words are so linked with sex. But just saying "attractive" feels lacking. It's "attractive" but more. "Attractive" is just anyone who is visually appealing to the eyes. "Handsome" doesn't cut it either. It feels like a word i'd use to describe Chris Evans in a suit or like, a silver fox kind of man. I think both of those examples are "handsome" but not "attractive". Then maybe I could use the word "beautiful". But it just doesn't feel right. Like maybe what i'm trying to describe is "attractive" and "beautiful" but those words just don't quite cut it. 

With all this talk it sounds like maybe I am just trying to describe something that I find sexually attractive, but I genuinely don't. There is definitely nothing to be felt in that department. So i'm left with this puzzle. A problem I don't think can be solved. It's not that crucial to my daily life, but ya know, sometimes I want to be able to have a word for something that is "attractive" but more. That is "sexy" but not. All without implying I feel sexual attraction for the subject I am describing. Ugh, it's so frustrating.

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I'mTheDecoy

I get where you are coming from. My lame suggestions are just 'awesome' or to be more physically specific you could call them 'art'.

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I'mTheDecoy

Oh, also what about just saying 'aesthetic'? That seems pretty clear that sex isn't entering into it. Sometimes I deliberately refer to women as handsome and men as beautiful because somehow by switching the expected gender association of those words it feels like it is putting distance between the idea that I could find them 'sexy'. 

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Man of the Stoa

Something like "breathtaking" or "magnificent" or "scintillating" might be what you're looking for. Try words that people would use to describe beautiful pieces of art or animals, and you'll find a trove of words that convey beauty without sexual desire.

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I totally get what you mean! There aren't really any other words that pack that same punch so I still use the word "hot".
I don't think that it necessarily needs to be sexual and I know other people who also use it in a non-sexual way.

Worst case scenario, you could make up your own word? 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Gorgeous, perhaps? You could add adjectives onto it to further enhance it, like "drop dead gorgeous".

You could also use "strikingly" as an adverb for a word like beautiful or handsome to give them some extra oomph ? o 3o

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On 5/25/2020 at 6:22 AM, ItsAMeRachio said:

It feels like a word i'd use to describe Chris Evans in a suit or like, a silver fox kind of man.

YO Chris Evans, yeaaaa. I like the word "dashing."

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AceMissBehaving

I use asexy if it’s someone I find attractive in the usual ways minus sexual attraction 

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CaramelCoffeeCake

Weirdly, I never liked the words 'hot' or 'sexy' even when I didn't know I was ace. It left an unpleasant taste in my mouth and I never used them. 

 

I describe anything/anyone (regardless) I feel aesthetically attracted to as beautiful (mainly), lovely, pretty, stunning (usually for something/someone that/who may or may not be pretty/handsome/beautiful in a conventional way but something about the look of it/them draws my eyes in a sharp, intriguing 'I can't look away' way...can't really explain this 😄). I also use more words if so moved but these ones above more regularly.

 

On 5/25/2020 at 2:05 PM, Man of the Stoa said:

Try words that people would use to describe beautiful pieces of art or animals, and you'll find a trove of words that convey beauty without sexual desire.

I agree with this.

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Janus the Fox
1 hour ago, Ellash said:

Weirdly, I never liked the words 'hot' or 'sexy' even when I didn't know I was ace. It left an unpleasant taste in my mouth and I never used them.

The same for me as well and I've literally only connected the word hot to something of high temperature.

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Purple Red Panda

I rather like lovely and will use it for any gender. I don't think a specific word exists for my desire to snuggle up with someone and stroke their hair😊

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CaramelCoffeeCake
13 minutes ago, Janus DarkFox said:

The same for me as well and I've literally only connected the word hot to something of high temperature.

Agree. Also the word sexy just means (to me..don't know about others) sex-able, sex-worthy....someone I find attractive enough that I could have sex with them/I could see myself having sex with them. I never felt that way towards anyone, even those I found either aesthetically or romantically/emotionally attracted to, so it just never fit how I would describe someone.

 

I don't think of sex when I like someone. I could think of kissing (this would be prompted in some way by something...it isn't by default), warm cuddles and hugs and handholding but mainly just having a lovely time with that person in my life just hanging out, doing whatever.

 

In hindsight, this was a sign I missed.😊

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