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Defer to you pet as a room-mate


Phantasmal Fingers

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Phantasmal Fingers

I have a stone tortoise.

 

Enough said.

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Phantasmal Fingers

And if you don't understand how this thread works, just ask @Skycaptain🙃

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1 hour ago, Moderne Jazzhanden said:

And if you don't understand how this thread works, just ask @Skycaptain🙃

Let me guess... find clever ways of admitting that one's pet is actually the master of the house?

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Phantasmal Fingers
1 hour ago, Jon A. said:

Let me guess... find clever ways of admitting that one's pet is actually the master of the house?

Yep. I'm merely a tennant, it's that stone tortoise who's in charge. 

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Skycaptain

Tenannts donn't like paying rennt 😋😋

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

My roommate is really high right now after going to the dentist. He pulled his bandages off with his teeth. And he won't take his medicine unless I mix it with gravy

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Skycaptain

My roommates expect to be carried around the house on a cushion 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

My room mate wanders into my room and humps my duvet in ecstasy

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ClaryFray1984

One of my room mates came home in a box today. My other room mate wasn't happy I cut his hair and is currently lying on my knee. He snores.

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Phantasmal Fingers
On 5/25/2020 at 10:00 AM, Skycaptain said:

My roommates expect to be carried around the house on a cushion 

And I should hope you defer to them by so doing! 

 

23 minutes ago, ClaryFray1984 said:

One of my room mates came home in a box today. My other room mate wasn't happy I cut his hair and is currently lying on my knee. He snores.

Okay. But how do you defer to him? 

 

 

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Phantasmal Fingers
On 5/25/2020 at 7:21 AM, Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion said:

My roommate is really high right now after going to the dentist. He pulled his bandages off with his teeth. And he won't take his medicine unless I mix it with gravy

Which you do, of course? 

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50 rats in a trenchcoat

my roomate keeps trying to have sex with the blankets, despite the fact he's had a vasectomy.

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Phantasmal Fingers
13 hours ago, 50 rats in a trenchcoat said:

my roomate keeps trying to have sex with the blankets, despite the fact he's had a vasectomy.

Perhaps he doesn't want children but does enjoy comfort sex? 🤔

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Skycaptain

Nah! It's an instinct inbedded in their brain 

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Phantasmal Fingers

Perhaps.

 

But it's only the blankets. At least there isn't a sheet on the bed! 

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My roommate shouted out my window behind me at nothing while I played Pathfinder over Zoom.

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ClaryFray1984

My room mate threw up on the bedroom floor and crapped on my PJ bottoms....he was sat on me at the time....

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Phantasmal Fingers
19 hours ago, ClaryFray1984 said:

My room mate threw up on the bedroom floor and crapped on my PJ bottoms....he was sat on me at the time....

Sheer class! 🙂

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Ten ants are easy to control though. Once there are thousands of them, you done fucked up.

 

(So a 'stone tortoise' isn't just a euphemism for a particularly difficult contribution to the poop thread?)

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My room mated  forgot the bathroom was outside.  A family member ended up  stepping on it and  thus   carried the bathroom stuff into  my room.  But  my roommate must be feeling better now. 

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  • 7 months later...
ClaryFray1984

This morning my room mate woke me up heavy breathing, took a whizz in the garden. Came back and jumped around until my mum put him on my bed. Then tried to dig a hole in my foot. It was 5.30am. Now hes hogging my bed.

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  • 8 months later...

Last night, my roommate crawled onto my nightstand and knocked over an empty glass onto the floor. He woke me up and spooked my other roommates

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