magic459 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Hey! Since as long as I can remember I never wanted to be a mother or have kids and the thought of me being a pregnant woman gave me anxiety and it's something I'd never want to go through. I guess it goes hand in hand considering asexual people don't have sexual feelings towards people meaning most don't have sex but I am aware that even though that is true there is asexuals who do have sex with their partners to make them happy (or other reasons) because some do believe in romantic partnerships. I was wondering if my idea of having kids or being pregnant was a common one among other asexuals. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Some do, some don't. Having sex for an outcome like kids isn't the same as having sexual attraction/desire. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ace bookdragon Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Personally no, I wouldn't. Mostly because I wouldn't want to go through the pain of labor and also because I know that there are so many kids in the world who do not have a permanent family, so it seems kind of pointless to add another I may not even be able to care for properly. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 It depends on the person. Personally, I've never wanted kids and the thought of being pregnant kind of terrifies me. It's not a process I ever want to go through. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I believe your stance on being pregnant is common among most aces. Now, I'm a male-bodied individual, so I can't get pregnant regardless, but I'm repulsed by sex and the thought of sex (and I mean very, VERY repulsed). 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 here you go Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I used to be completely closed off to the idea of ever having kids (and additionally wondering if it was even possible for me to have them, considering I'm nonlibidoist and had never achieved anything resembling sexual arousal for a good chunk of my life). Now though, being married and having found out that it IS possible for me, I've found that I'm not as closed off to it as I used to be. It still certainly isn't anything I (or my spouse) feel ready for right now, and may not ever be, but the prospect isn't as much of an "absolutely not" as it once was. Anyway, tl;dr: it depends, just like how it does for sexuals. A lot of sexual people don't ever want to have kids too; there's a reason why contraceptives and other similar means to have sex but avoid getting pregnant have their own market. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I want a child and I either want to be pregnant, have a surrogate, or adopt. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Quote Well that about covers them all, no? What other options are there? Stealing someone else's baby...? Well, hey, you never know. Those freakin dingoes, man. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MakeupJunkie4 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I am as averse to pregnancy and procreating as you can get. I used to think I'd like to adopt because I really feel terrible about so many precious children in the world with no one to love them, but I don't think I could support and care for a child. My patience isn't what it should be either, so I gave up on that idea. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 59 minutes ago, CBC said: Well that about covers them all, no? What other options are there? Stealing someone else's baby...? Train as a magician and pull one out of a hat?! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phalena Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 2 hours ago, CBC said: Seems a lot don't, for a variety of reasons. Whether it's the sex bit or discomfort with body stuff or whatever. But I've also seen posts from aces who desperately want to start a family and aren't sure how to go about it. Meanwhile, I'm a sexual person with no intention of ever having children, and I'm rapidly reaching the age where I consider it too late to do so regardless. I've got too much other life shit to deal with, I don't really have the parental inclination (though I'm sure I'd love my kids if I did have them), pregnancy kinda squicks me out (nothing whatsoever to do with the sex part, obvs), it would be detrimental to my physical health, and I'd be too worried about things like passing on mental illness that runs in the family. /useless non-ace input due to boredom It's not useless! Your perspective is just as important as the perspectives of the others. <3 Your point is important to notice because it shows that wanting or not wanting kids is not primarily defined by being ace or not. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Some want, some don't. I'm young so now I don't want to have kids, but somewhere in future-who knows. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I dont want kids, I dont like kids, I dont wanna do that to my body so its a hell no from me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pin776 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I want to have kids, but i think i'd rather adopt. The thought of being pregnant makes me scared. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Let's put it this way. I'd rather have a "label" than a crotch goblin. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I never wanted to have children. Reproductive biology totally freaked me out yet before I decided that I also don't want to have sex. When I was five years old, I started asking "where do babies come from" and since I could already read, my mom gave me two books which explained reproduction in a way accessible for, probably, slightly older children (more like 7-9 years old). And I immediately decided: no way I'd ever go through this, I won't allow my body to be torn to shreds. At this point I decided to never have children and never marry, and when I already knew what sex is, I also decided to have no sex. Still, I don't think that tokophobia is simply at the root of my effective asexuality. I have a clear emotional preference for the same sex, and lesbian sex typically doesn't carry a risk of pregnancy. And yet I feel sure that I couldn't have sex with a woman either. No, the most important factor in my effective asexuality is my nudity aversion - I couldn't be naked with another person and this fear is so strong that it completely eliminates any desire for sex, any yearning for even just being able to have sex - if I ever had any such potential to begin with. I accept my nudity aversion and sex aversion and would never want to become comfortable with nudity, allosexual, sex-indifferent or simply psychologically capable of having sex. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I like helping to take care of kids, and I get along well with them, but I can't really see myself as a "full-time" parent. I'd probably be more suited to the "wacky aunt/uncle" role. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SithAzathoth WinterDragon Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 No. Just as I'll never be sexual on any level with anyone or have, I don't even touch myself. I got sterilized even though I'll never be sexual with anyone on any level. I also will stay alone as I travel to Geological places and to GeoHazards in volcanic National Parks, so I will never let anyone ruin my concentration or come between my career interests. I enjoy company of my friends and colleagues, but I never want my privacy or personal space violated. I never will share my living space with anyone. I don't want to be put through any stress, depression by letting anyone live with me. I don't want to waste money on anyone else, let alone raise children. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Edels Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I personally wanna raise kids , but i don't want kids like from my own blood and flesh because, you know, no sex for me (so also that'll mean raising children alone bcs no dating) . So i've been thinking about adopting, well, ever since i started to think about the eventuality that i would one day raise a child. But why not try another scientific method so you can have your very own child all by yourself, you may ask; and the main reason is very simple : why would i put another human onto this world when there are thousands of kids without any parent to take care of them ? And that way i don't contribute to overpopulation so it's cool. I know some people prefer sharing some DNA with their child, but i really don't mind at all. I just wanna raise kids, not necessarily ensure my bloodline is preserved. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted May 20, 2020 Share Posted May 20, 2020 I definitely do not, just the thought is utterly horrifying, unnatural and life ending. I'm still mentally a child myself and have absolutely no human parental instinct whatsoever. The only babies I want to raise are snail babies 🐌 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted May 20, 2020 Share Posted May 20, 2020 16 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: I definitely do not, just the thought is utterly horrifying, unnatural and life ending. I'm still mentally a child myself and have absolutely no human parental instinct whatsoever. The only babies I want to raise are snail babies 🐌 I think you can have the "taking care of things" instinct without wanting to be a parent. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted May 20, 2020 Share Posted May 20, 2020 37 minutes ago, Karst said: I think you can have the "taking care of things" instinct without wanting to be a parent. Oh absolutely. I have a very strong protective, nurturing instinct, just not in conjunction with producing offspring (😰). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted May 20, 2020 Share Posted May 20, 2020 1 minute ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: Oh absolutely. I have a very strong protective, nurturing instinct, just not in conjunction with producing offspring (😰). Just out of curiosity: Does that apply to machines, too? I know a lot of people get very protective about cars, boats, etc. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted May 20, 2020 Share Posted May 20, 2020 4 minutes ago, Karst said: Just out of curiosity: Does that apply to machines, too? I know a lot of people get very protective about cars, boats, etc. Do you mean do the machines have protective instinct or do I have protective instinct over machines? The answer is yes for both like. I work on a heritage railway and have two old (relatively speaking) cars because I love and want to protect them forever; literally my life is looking after old vehicles. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IceQueenn Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 I don't. I'm childfree by choice. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PositivelyAce Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I'm asexual and always thought I'd want to get pregnant and have children one day. I also know that sex isn't the only way to become a parent though. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rin Kagamine Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 Im childfree by choice xD used 2 want a bby but i find them reallly anxiety inducing 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Brittany_1 Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 Personally, no I don't. It's not because I don't want to have sex. While expensive and time consuming, there are other options that don't involve sex. I don't want kids because I'm selfish and I don't want to be responsible for anyone but myself. Aside from that, I don't see a reason to have kids. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sigrid Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 I have been thinking for many years and I have decided that I want kids, The problem is to make the kid, I am married since 10 years but I never want to have sex, now I have forced my self a couple of times and I hoped it was gonna work at the first intent but it didn’t. I don’t know how others do. I think there are people who wants kids even if they are asexual as well as there are homosexual people who want kids. The problem is just how to make them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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