Jump to content
GingerRose

Heated Discussions

Recommended Posts

GingerRose

I know the last website I was on with forums could get pretty heated on forums with people getting offended and angry over little conversations and opinions, maybe even cursing out at someone. Does this ever happen here, or is AVEN fairly safe from those situations?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle

Yup. In the "Hot Box" section or any thread that involves any discussion about what "asexual" actually means. :P

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PanFicto.
1 hour ago, GingerRose said:

I know the last website I was on with forums could get pretty heated on forums with people getting offended and angry over little conversations and opinions, maybe even cursing out at someone. Does this ever happen here, or is AVEN fairly safe from those situations?

Oh yeah it does happen, but we try to keep heated discussions for the Hot Box section which is where controversial things can be discussed. However heated discussions do happen outside of Hot Box too, which almost always seem to be centred around whether or not asexuals can 'love sex and be unhappy without it, that sort of thing. Usually gets people really pissed off lol.

 

Edit: though I need to clarify that if you start cursing out or insulting someone here, you get quickly dealt with by admins because that's against ToS. AVEN has the best moderation of any forum I've been on because they try to allow a very wide range of opinions, as long as you're not directly insulting another member. I've got in trouble for insulting a YTer once (well, I said they're a predator and refused to use their preferred pronouns, but they aren't a member of AVEN!) so there are exceptions, but for the most part it's really good ^_^

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura

You just use the phrase "asexual spectrum" repeatedly and there's your answer

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GingerRose
5 minutes ago, Grey-Ace Ventura said:

You just use the phrase "asexual spectrum" repeatedly and there's your answer

What's wrong with that phrase?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GingerRose
25 minutes ago, PanFicto. said:

if you start cursing out or insulting someone here, you get quickly dealt with by admins because that's against ToS. AVEN has the best moderation of any forum I've been on because they try to allow a very wide range of opinions, as long as you're not directly insulting another member

Good to hear.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skycaptain
15 minutes ago, Grey-Ace Ventura said:

You just use the phrase "asexual spectrum" repeatedly and there's your answer

 

9 minutes ago, GingerRose said:

What's wrong with that phrase?

It is the AVEN equivalent of dropping a lump of Sodium into a bowl of water. 😋😋

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DarkGloomSquid

*Remembers the previous wars* I would be lying if I said no

 

16 minutes ago, Grey-Ace Ventura said:

You just use the phrase "asexual spectrum" repeatedly and there's your answer

Dont forget the definition debate yowza

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GiftedWithSingleness
28 minutes ago, GingerRose said:

What's wrong with that phrase?

People often mean different things by the term "asexual spectrum", which can cause a lot of confusion. But there's one (very popular) interpretation in particular that really gets on people's nerves. For some reason, a lot of people (especially on websites like Tumblr) seem to have this idea that the vast majority of people are extremely hypersexual, have no self-control, and constantly want to have hookup sex with complete strangers based on appearance alone, and any and all deviation from that puts you on the asexual spectrum. It ends up diluting what asexuality actually is, which makes it harder for people who truly don't want sex to communicate clearly.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PanFicto.
2 hours ago, GingerRose said:

What's wrong with that phrase?

Oh it's exactly what I mentioned in my reply to you. It implies you can love sex to the extent you're unhappy without it and still be asexual, which poses many risks for asexuals (because, due to the popularity of that idea, sexuals try to push asexuals into sex by saying "I read that asexuals love sex so something else must be wrong with you. Asexuality is a spectrum so you won't know where on the spectrum you are until you have sex with me, you might love it like other aces do!!" etc. It's very, very discouraging and has causes some asexuals to stop identifying as asexual out of fear over how the label is being portrayed in the media (articles about how asexuals love sex just like everyone else and similar stuff, sigh)

 

Edit: and @GiftedWithSingleness covered another aspect of why the idea of an asexual spectrum is so controversial too!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
4 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

It is the AVEN equivalent of dropping a lump of Sodium into a bowl of water. 😋😋

Seems a little tame. I would've gone with something like... dumping a pile of steaming dog shit on a set of newly-purchased satin bedsheets.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Una Salus Victus

People with opinions, and people getting offended just seems to be our lot in life.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
4 minutes ago, Una Salus Victus said:

People with opinions, and people getting offended just seems to be our lot in life.

I think that's how the internet in general works.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Janus DarkFox

This happens in some frequency.  Even QaA and Musirants can get a little ‘warm’, not quite like the heat of PPS or Hot Box.  The heat though can be contained with reminders or mod actions as required.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Una Salus Victus
11 minutes ago, CBC said:

I think that's how the internet in general works.

I dunno about that, this seems like a really weird specific thing I've only really come across in ace circles. It's weird, and sometimes rather frelling annoying.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GingerRose
9 hours ago, GiftedWithSingleness said:

People often mean different things by the term "asexual spectrum", which can cause a lot of confusion. But there's one (very popular) interpretation in particular that really gets on people's nerves. For some reason, a lot of people (especially on websites like Tumblr) seem to have this idea that the vast majority of people are extremely hypersexual, have no self-control, and constantly want to have hookup sex with complete strangers based on appearance alone, and any and all deviation from that puts you on the asexual spectrum. It ends up diluting what asexuality actually is, which makes it harder for people who truly don't want sex to communicate clearly.

I see. Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
N8LV3y

I’d say it stays pretty mild but when the fit does hit the shan it’s in several places and it only lasts a day or two and or a few pages.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Janus DarkFox
9 hours ago, Una Salus Victus said:

I dunno about that, this seems like a really weird specific thing I've only really come across in ace circles. It's weird, and sometimes rather frelling annoying.

There's entire Subreddits dedicated to Drama on Reddit caused by Heated Discussions in other Subreddits, often of which goes unmoderated for entertainment.  AVEN and Hot Box and other ace communities are mild in comparison in how heated it gets and the moderation effort to restrict it to my observations.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
daveb
15 hours ago, PanFicto. said:

though I need to clarify that if you start cursing out or insulting someone here, you get quickly dealt with by admins because that's against ToS. AVEN has the best moderation of any forum I've been on because they try to allow a very wide range of opinions, as long as you're not directly insulting another member.

Yep. :) Just speaking for myself, I try to do my best. I have made mistakes, but hope I have learned from them and gotten better. People can disagree without being disagreeable (glibness aside - what I mean is that differences of opinion are fine, but it's better if people are civil about it and willing to listen to each other, even if they never end up agreeing). I understand sometimes discussions can get heated and emotions can run high at times, and that's okay. What matters is what comes out of that in terms of what people actually do on AVEN. And yep, we do have Terms of Service and other guidelines, such as prohibited words, to try to keep AVEN a good community for all of our members.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SithEmpress

If people are getting too heated, mods sometimes post reminders to not break the ToS and can sometimes lock threads to let the users cool down (if they're going back and forth in quick succession and are clearly pissed off). Not sure if I've ever seen a locked thread get unlocked though.

But yes, there are going to be people who vehemently disagree on certain issues, but as long as they don't breach the ToS it's fine. But some topics are definitely controversial and are famous for getting people heated pretty quickly. Some above have been mentioned but one of the worst I've seen has been about this delicious monstrosity known as... pineapple pizza.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Moonman

I don't think I've ever seen a heated discussion here. I've seen disagreements but I don't think I've ever seen a conversation devolve into people just hurling insults at one another. 

 

Most of the time people are just passionate about the subject being discussed and that's a good thing. The ends are the same anyway, even the numerous threads about sex positive aces and invalidation were about making sure we represented and helped asexuals as best as we could. I'm all for us getting hot under the collar about making sure that happens.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PanFicto.
On 5/19/2020 at 10:36 PM, SithEmpress said:

pineapple pizza.

I always find it odd when I see that being discussed (even jokingly) only because here in NZ it's totally normal to have pineapple on pizza, it's one of the most common kinds! We call it Hawaiian pizza for some reason. ^_^

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale
4 minutes ago, PanFicto. said:

I always find it odd when I see that being discussed (even jokingly) only because here in NZ it's totally normal to have pineapple on pizza, it's one of the most common kinds! We call it Hawaiian pizza for some reason. ^_^

-packs up and moves to New Zealand- 😜

 

Yeah, I've seen some threads get out of hand. Usually it's not a huge mob fight, but two particular users who've taken offense to each other's positions and have started taking it out on each other, which is a no-no. That's when mod's will step in and issue a warning or lock a thread for cool down. Because of that, though, I've never seen it reach the level of shouting in big letters or cursing.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SithEmpress
19 minutes ago, PanFicto. said:

I always find it odd when I see that being discussed (even jokingly) only because here in NZ it's totally normal to have pineapple on pizza, it's one of the most common kinds! We call it Hawaiian pizza for some reason. ^_^

I don't really mind it. I like pineapple and pizza, I just prefer if the pineapple is cold so eat it before the pizza is cooked. I find the weird "fighting" on AVEN over it funny though. I've had far worse pizza than one with pinapples. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PanFicto.
13 minutes ago, SithEmpress said:

I like pineapple and pizza, I just prefer if the pineap

 

24 minutes ago, RoseGoesToYale said:

packs up and moves to New Zealand- 

I love toasted sandwiches with cheese and pineapple and ham inside, so good 💚

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LeChat
48 minutes ago, PanFicto. said:

...I love toasted sandwiches with cheese and pineapple and ham inside, so good 💚

That sounds interesting.

 

All this time, I thought Hawaiian Pizza was invented somewhere in the Pacific Islands, but it actually was invented by a Greek-Canadian! And I thought it might've been a lot older than the 1960s.

 

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-inventor-of-hawaiian-pizza

 

Oh! It also looks like it's a favorite of Australia, too, as well as New Zealand.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_pizza

Quote

...Hawaiian was the most popular pizza in Australia in 1999, accounting for 15% of pizza sales...

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skycaptain

This thread is now displaying a much more common phenomenon on AVEN than a discussion getting heated, or blowing up. It's gone completely Off-topic, 😋😋

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HikaruBG
On 5/18/2020 at 6:55 AM, GingerRose said:

I know the last website I was on with forums could get pretty heated on forums with people getting offended and angry over little conversations and opinions, maybe even cursing out at someone. Does this ever happen here, or is AVEN fairly safe from those situations?

Yeah, it's a good thing that you are asking. A lot of newbies don't know that.

On AVEN there a a few topics that typically tend to be very controversial...

As many has said, definition debates (usually about what is sexual attraction is ) and the whole issue with Asexual Spectrum. And I would also like to mention the thing with sex-favourite asexuals (and maybe sex-positivity?).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...