Recommend me your favourite books with important non-sexual relationships

[Karo]

I'd like to read more of the sort of relationships I would find interesting in books.

 

I'm not specifically looking for the word asexual to be used. Especially since for that to come up, there tends to be some discussion of what that means and why the character might identify that way, or if the writer wants to show it, the character might have to go through some experiences to realise that they are ace. And rather than focus on figuring out what you _don't_ want, I want to read about the relationships that characters _do_ want and find fulfilling. I'd like to read about non-sexual relationships that are important to the characters. Maybe there's a really close friendship and the characters cook together, watch the stars together, tell each other how important they are, who knows, maybe they live together. Or maybe there is a character who values their friends and we get to see that in the books. I would love it if they can be read as ace, but I'll still take it if that's not the case. Oh, and bonus points if there happens to be lgbt rep and it's not made a big deal.

Mostly I am interested in fantasy, or stories with some mystery or some other actual plot. At the moment I'm not that interested in just following some high school students around in their daily lives as they figure themselves out (which covers most of the lgbt characters I've read about). Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy those books, I just want some actual plot now! I'll take fanfiction recommendations too (my favourite series are Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or Septimus Heap).

Let me know your recommendations! If you love a book and it doesn't hit all the points of my wish list, I might still be interested so let me know why it's great anyway

 

[blunose2772]

I always recommend the Kingdom Keepers saga by Ridley Pearson. there is 11 books in the series that I know of but I only like the first four. The basic plot is 5 kids (later 7) have their images made in holograms to be tour guides in the Disney parks and when the real kids go to sleep they cross over and become the holograms to fight Disney villains.  Around book 3 they start looking into relationships between the main characters (sex is never brought up or even implied)

[Karo]

Thanks, that sounds interesting, I will look into that!

[HonoraryJedi]

So, my favourite books, as people who have seen me around this forum a lot already know, are the Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon. A fantasy about a woman who becomes a mercenary (and then becomes increasingly powerful as the trilogy progresses). She's pretty ace-aro, though of course no one uses the terms, she's just not interested. The book is not very relationship focused in general, but there is a lot of camaraderie in the company where she is, and a real sense of belonging.

 

The second is Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie, this one is sci-fi, where the main character is a ship-AI inhabiting human bodies. A ship does not desire the same type of relationships as a person generally do, it is made clear that the love of a ship for its captain and lieutenants is its own thing. But love is still described in a way that felt very vividly real to me. It isn't ace, in particular, but still very interesting. This one deals with a couple of heavier subjects though.

 

I enjoy myself some important, varied relationships in stories, I'll add more if I think of them. Important friends who regularly tell eachother how important they are describes most of the Fellowship in Lord of the Rings, to mention a classic. Of course, that one comes with a big fat 0 in actual lgbtq+ rep, just to keep in mind x) I'm still a fan though, it's stuck around for a reason.

 

 

[Karo]

I love Lord of the Rings too, maybe I want to re-read them soon I will look into the others as well. I think I have actually come across the Deed of Paksenarrion before, just not got around to getting hold of it. It sounds right up my street though.

[HonoraryJedi]

At least I talk about it every time I see 'book recommendations' thread on this forum ^^' Also, you should keep your eyes out for any book that is like "person and the dragon or similar that they have magically bonded with" that might be your thing. This includes the Pern books, which I like. They are both sexual and weird at times between people, but rider-dragon relationships are very much central. I feel like it is a relatively popular concept though, so I am sure there are more examples.

[Luftschlosseule]

I second LotR and want to add the Hobbit. If you're into fantasy, have you already tried the Discworld series?

If you're not above middlegrade, the books by Rick Riordan are worth a try, and I love the series Lockwood & Co by Jonathan Stroud. Artemis Fowl?

 

I am currently reading Crown of Feathers by Nicki Pau Preto and loving it. So far it looks like there are no sexual relationships, but I am not through yet.

[Karst]

One of my all-time favorites is The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula Le Guin.  The central hook of the plot is that a very confused cis man from Earth gets sent as an envoy to a planet that's never heard of this "gender binary" concept.  There's some discussion of sexual stuff, but the main arc of the plot is about a friendship forming.  It's also got one of the best prison-break scenes I've ever read.

[HonoraryJedi]

That sounds really interesting, I'll make sure to check that one out.

 

Oh, man that's the Earthsea author, I knew I recognized the name!

[argar]

Hmm, 

 

-Winter Warriors by David Gemmell

 

-Something from the Nightside (Nightside #1) by Simon R. Green

 

-Hawk & Fisher by Simon R. Green

 

-Furies of Calderon (Codex Alera #1) by Jim Butcher 

[KiraS]

Left Hand of Darkness

[Karst]

On 4/28/2020 at 10:18 AM, HonoraryJedi said:

That sounds really interesting, I'll make sure to check that one out.

 

Oh, man that's the Earthsea author, I knew I recognized the name!

She's written a lot of great stuff- feminist science fiction and fantasy, through an anthropological lens.

 

If you want movies with relationships that aren't romantic/sexual, Studio Ghibli has a few good ones.

I especially like Castle in the Sky and Kiki's Delivery Service.

[ace-ren]

Definitely The Lord of the Rings, don't think I've ever read anything with better platonic relationships!

[GlamRocker]

The Sherlock Holmes stories

[long nights]

On 4/28/2020 at 4:42 AM, Karo said:

I'd like to read more of the sort of relationships I would find interesting in books.

 

I'm not specifically looking for the word asexual to be used. Especially since for that to come up, there tends to be some discussion of what that means and why the character might identify that way, or if the writer wants to show it, the character might have to go through some experiences to realise that they are ace. And rather than focus on figuring out what you _don't_ want, I want to read about the relationships that characters _do_ want and find fulfilling. I'd like to read about non-sexual relationships that are important to the characters. Maybe there's a really close friendship and the characters cook together, watch the stars together, tell each other how important they are, who knows, maybe they live together. Or maybe there is a character who values their friends and we get to see that in the books. I would love it if they can be read as ace, but I'll still take it if that's not the case. Oh, and bonus points if there happens to be lgbt rep and it's not made a big deal.

Mostly I am interested in fantasy, or stories with some mystery or some other actual plot. At the moment I'm not that interested in just following some high school students around in their daily lives as they figure themselves out (which covers most of the lgbt characters I've read about). Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy those books, I just want some actual plot now! I'll take fanfiction recommendations too (my favourite series are Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or Septimus Heap).

Let me know your recommendations! If you love a book and it doesn't hit all the points of my wish list, I might still be interested so let me know why it's great anyway

 

So one of my favourite books is Burial Rites by Hannah Kent. In the book the relationship that flourishes between two of the lead characters is one I found to be particularly touching. I read the book a long time ago but I do remember that their interactions were built in trust and empathy more than any type of sexual or romantic desire. It could be interpreted, in many instances, that there could have been an inkling of romantic feelings, but they are pretty subtle. The book is not about romance after all. I would highly recommend it if you are interested in a book that will make you experience what the characters are going through and truly care for them. Not to mention the beautiful writing and vivid descriptions. That is always a plus

Reading the book I genuinely felt I was standing in the middle of Icelandic landscapes. 

To give you a little more information: the relationship is between a woman and her spiritual advisor.

[dreamfae]

rubs hands together  You want fantasy recs, I got 'em!

 

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - a shy young half-goblin, the youngest son of the Elvish emperor, suddenly finds himself the only heir after his father and brothers are killed.  The book is mainly about him figuring out how to be emperor and navigate court life and politics while still being himself.  He has an arranged betrothal, and he and his fiancee are starting to become close by the end of the book, but there's more focus on his relationships with the main members of his retinue, his young nephew and nieces, and the allies he finds at court.  He's a thoroughly endearing character.

 

Tamsin by Peter S. Beagle - a teenage girl has to move from America to England when her mother remarries, only to find that the Dorset farm they've moved to is full of ghosts and creatures from British folklore.  She develops a deep friendship with Tamsin, the ghost of a girl who lived there in the 17th century.  There's also a lot about becoming a family with her new stepfather and stepbrothers. 

 

The Oathbound and Oathbreakers by Mercedes Lackey - Tarma, a warrior woman sworn to celibacy, and Kethry, a sorceress, become bloodsworn companions and have various adventures.  They have a very strong platonic bond; Kethry eventually finds a man she wants to marry, and he simply gets folded into their friendship/family, to the satisfaction of all concerned.

[TheLostHerondale]

The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini- before I start, I'm absolutely AWFUL at describing books. I'm not going to be able to do it justice. It's much better than I'm making it out to be, I promise. Alright. This series is about a boy named Eragon who finds an egg in the foothills of the mountains near his home. He originally planned to sell it for food (his family is making just enough money to survive), but it hatches into a dragon. Eventually he learns that he's the last dragon rider- an organization of people of all sorts. There are fey, dwarves, humans, and a lot of others. Once he learns about all of this, he must find a way to defeat the evil (for lack of a better word) king that's reigning over the land.

[Phantasmal Fingers]

Many, many years ago I read some Michael Moorcock. I was particularly impressed by 'Ecce Homo'. 

 

Also 'Titus Groan' and 'Gormenghast' by Mervyn Peake were both brilliant I thought, but he needn't have bothered with the final one, 'Titus Alone'. 

[Carbon-12]

Thanks for making this thread! It's awesome to see so many books with quality non-sexual relationships ^^

 

I don't know if you're interested in podcasts or sci-fi, but might as well share "Wolf 359". It starts off as the audio diary of Doug Eiffel, the communications officer tasked with scanning for signs of life on a space outpost that's orbiting star Wolf 359. The starting cast is small with four characters, but later it morphs into more of a sci-fi drama/thriller with more (never more than eight though, it's very contained). All relationships are non-sexual/romantic, and are developed really well with themes that generally tend to get overlooked in favor of romance. Highly reccomend checking it out if you're interested, it's known as one of the best-made fiction podcasts! 

[Black Husky]

My favorit book of all time is "Tales of a new world" by P.C Cast. The main character does fall in love and she does have sex with her partner, but there are no details of it. The series has 3 Books and a fourth is going to be released (hopefully soon). There are LGBTQ+ characters in this book (one of the many reasons why I like it so much). I even think that a character introduced in the third book might be aroace!

The book in general is about three different groups of people, the earth walkers, the tribe/companions and the people who live in a city. They all hate eachother. The companions try to catch and enslave earth walkers and the people in the city always try to catch and kill people who don't live in their city. In the tribe there are dogs and each dog chooses one person to be their companion for lifetime (which can be I think up to 35 years). When the dogs form a connection with a person they feel each others emotions and are mentally connected.

The main character, Mari, is the daughter of an earth walker woman and a tribesman. No one is allowed to know that because she would be expelled. After her mother, who is also her best friend, died, everything changes for her. Shortly after that she stumbles upon Nik, a Tribesman, who's hurt really badly. Even though he's a companion she decides to heal him and befriends him.

 

It is way more interesting that what it sounds like, I just didn't want to give it all away :D.

[Karo]

Wow, thank you all for the recommendations! I have lots of stuff to look into that I haven't come across yet, this is exciting

 

On 5/8/2020 at 5:47 AM, Carbon-12 said:

Thanks for making this thread! It's awesome to see so many books with quality non-sexual relationships ^^

 

I don't know if you're interested in podcasts or sci-fi, but might as well share "Wolf 359". It starts off as the audio diary of Doug Eiffel, the communications officer tasked with scanning for signs of life on a space outpost that's orbiting star Wolf 359. The starting cast is small with four characters, but later it morphs into more of a sci-fi drama/thriller with more (never more than eight though, it's very contained). All relationships are non-sexual/romantic, and are developed really well with themes that generally tend to get overlooked in favor of romance. Highly reccomend checking it out if you're interested, it's known as one of the best-made fiction podcasts! 

And yes, I am interested in podcasts too, I have actually been wanting to find a good fiction podcast lately, so will definitely check this out! Thanks for the recommendation.

[Atlantis]

Off the top of my head, I remember reading the Artemis Fowl series when I was younger, and I don't recall there being a lot (if any) romance in it. I also read The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel series a while ago. There wasn't really any romance in it from what I remember, since the main characters were siblings. I suck at summaries and don't remember enough of the stories so I'm not going to even try to attempt explaining the books, but they were both fantasy. 

 

As a side note, I loved the Septimus Heap series! (As well as Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, all three of which I read multiple times, but I've never met anyone that has read Septimus Heap haha).

 

I'm not sure if you read webtoons/comics, but one of the only two romances I liked was called Cheese in the Trap. It was more of a drama (I'd say kinda psychological personally because I couldn't trust the main lead and didn't ship the girl with anyone in the love triangle (which wasn't really necessary but that may just be me talking 😅)). I also don't think it's necessarily what you're looking for because instead of taking place in high school it's taking place in college. It's definitely possible to take it as a romance, but when I read it I thought it was more about character development and how the characters balanced each other out and helped each other grow. There wasn't any sex in it, but the characters kissed a few times. If you want to read it, it's available on Webtoon for free, and it's finished.

 

Another webtoon I really like is called Lookism, there's no romance in it (from what I remember). It's kinda fantasy in that the main character wakes up with a new body that's super good-looking and fit, while his original body was the complete opposite. The fantasy aspect ends there though, the characters are in high school but it's not a slice-of-life. The plot brings to light some societal ills in some arcs, especially at the beginning, and those tie into the overarching plot. There's gangs involved too, and a mystery aspect to everything since no one knows who's really controlling the gangs and the main character doesn't know where his new body came from, but he eventually finds clues. I thought the plot was pretty intricate too, but it's still ongoing.

 

A third webtoon I like (and is fantasy) is called Tower of God. There's no romance in it, the characters meet at the beginning and along the way, and I thought it was really nice in terms of relationships because they can separate and meet up again and still have strong bonds of friendship despite what each of them went through. Its worldbuilding is really good, and it got turned into an anime this year I think. I don't want to try to explain it since I know I won't do it justice.

 

A manga I've read without romance is The Promised Neverland, which is about humans being farmed for food for demons--half the world is controlled by humans and the other half by demons due to a contract made years ago. The characters try to free themselves and everyone. 

 

This was a mess, I hope it made sense 😅

[Skittles87]

I recently read Kings of the Wyld, which is an epic fantasy novel about a gang of middle-aged mercenaries who have to regroup to rescue the leader's daughter. There's a lot of focus on friendship and loyalty. The bond between Clay (the protagonist) and his best mate Gabe is important, especially since it drives the plot. But personally I love the friendship between Matrick and Moog. How can you you resist a hard-drinking assassin and an eccentric, openly gay wizard acting like the two naughty kids at the back of the classroom? There's also a lot of importance placed on father-daughter relationships - and don't worry, they may be rescuing the leader's daughter but it's not "Oh no, my helpless little princess!" - Rose turns out to be a badass.

 

I'll be keeping an eye on this thread, as I can never get enough fantasy books with strong central friendships.   

[puffin74656]

Seconding (or whatever number this is) The Lord of the Rings, Discworld, and The Goblin Emperor.

 

I also want to suggest Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein if young adult historical fiction (specifically WW2) is up your alley. It is about a pair of best friends who are fighting for the British but end up in Nazi occupied France. The story follows both their friendship from when they first met and their tale in France. One thing that I love about this story is how its told, as a frame story through confessions to Nazis and flight reports for the British. I'm not sure if there are any romantic interests in the story, but the women's friendship and a few familial relations are at the core of the story.

 

And while I am discussing books by Elizabeth Wein, I also want to mention The Pearl Thief, a prequel to Code Name Verity, as historical fiction YA novel with good LGBTQ+ representation. This is a mystery set in 1930s Scotland featuring one of the main characters from Code Name Verity as teenager. Interweaving themes of social class, disability, and prejudice, she uncovers why a man ended up unconscious and who the pearl thief is. I thought that these themes were more prominent than romantic aspects, but I generally try to ignore romantic plot lines. Anyway, a lot of Elizabeth Wein's books have significant non-romantic/sexual relationships.

[Sometimes Jack]

huh...I think I just realized why my top favorite books fall under either 'juvenile fiction', 'classic' or, quite often, both.  If you want to avoid romance plots, children's literature is one way to go, and those often go hand in hand with strong 'friendship' plots.  And even if a classic is considered a 'romance' novel, it rarely includes kissing, let anything more.  Rather counter-intuitively, I'd go so far as to recommend 'Pride and prejudice'; yes, it is a romance and if that is a deal breaker, avoid it...but it is a very understated one and, ultimately, not necessarily the point of the novel.  It's about overcoming one's first impressions and finding the good (or conversely, recognizing the bad) and if you preferred to interpret it as 'and then they got married because of societal expectations but really they just liked each other's wit and humor and enjoyed each other's company', then there is very little in the novel to contradict this.  I also second Lord of the Rings, Discworld, and Sherlock Holmes for having strong friendships and/or good fantasy with minimal or understated romance.

 

Juvenile fiction that is readable by adults: Anything by Diana Wynne Jones, Terry Pratchett, or Neil Gaiman (fair warning, they, all also write for adults, and those are more likely to include romantic subplots), The Secret Garden, A Little Princess (some strong friendships develop in that one, but they are all children; on the plus side they are all girls and the story was written a century or so ago, so there's no 'and then they grew up and got married'), Anything by E. Nesbit or Horatio Alger Jr (Nesbit is good for fantasy stories; Alger is basically an American Charles Dickens; fair warning for both of them...they have some dated terms and ideals that would be problematic in today's society.  Tattered Tom is particularly problematic in how it handles a little girl who wishes she were a boy.  The Enchanted Castle includes a boy blackening his face to appear Indian.  But there are some strong friendships in those books and I am inclined to think the authors actually surprisingly progressive for their times.).  Dealing with Dragons, (arguably, even the sequel; Searching for Dragons, the 'romance' is very toned down in favor of the rest of the plot), The Dragon of the Lost sea (I went through a dragons phase),  The Wizard of Oz.

 

Hmm...I would consider myself an avid reader and it is surprisingly difficult to think up books with plots that feature developing friendships that are non-romance, especially once I leave the juvenile genre. As a writer, maybe I should get on that.

[puffin74656]

One thing that posting on this thread here has made me realize is that the absence of sexual or romantic relationships in books does not correspond to the presence of strong friendships. And many books that I like have sexual or romantic relationships, but I tend to ignore those sexual or romantic relationships. That's why its so hard to find suitable books among the gazillion published novels. . . 

 

Case point: The Protector of the Small quartet by Tamora Pierce. This is a fantasy series about Kel, the main character, as she trains to become a knight, the first woman to openly do so for more than a hundred years. There is no dominant romantic plot, but in book 3 she tries seeing a fellow squire and in general is very confused about her feelings. The author has stated that Kel is in short, asexual and aromantic, but I feel that especially book 3 is a great example questioning ace and aro. Putting the questioning part of book three aside (which is somewhat appropriate because plot puts it aside early book 4), this is a great example of a series without both strong romance and strong friendship. While Kel has friends, it really is her story of becoming a knight.

 

Second case point: The Circle of Magic quartet (also by Tamora Pierce.) No romance/sexual stuff (at least in this quartet, but they are preteens). It is about four preteens living with the mentors and discovering their magic, their type which is widely understood by magical society. Together they face challenges and save the city, others, and each other multiple times, so you would think there would be strong friendships. While there are friends and family to each other, the books focus more on them individually.

 

But I do want to give actual, wholehearted suggestions.

 

A Friend at Midnight by Caroline B. Cooney. A contemporary suspense story about two siblings going through their parents' divorce and supporting each other. The connection between the siblings is one of the strongest I've read in stories.

 

Face on the Milk Cartoon is another good book (turned series) about a teen who sees her face on a missing child sign, and how this turns her life upside down. There is romance in the later books (going all the way to marriage, so maybe not this one) but the main tension is about the relationships within and between the families.

 

I also want to mention that Cooney's books deal with heavier subject matter (terrorism, smallpox outbreak, child abandonment, murder, crashed airplanes, missing people). Specifically, both A Friend at Midnight and Face on the Milk Cartoon deal with child abandonment. 

[Enim]

I highly recommend Good Omens, I know other people already recommended the authors and the book is pretty popular right now thanks to the tv series adaptation, but I wanted to be more specific and recommend one of my favourite books! The main characters can definitely be ace coded, and the whole book is just one super cool adventure to stop the apocalypse from happening!

[Trundalar]

Good Omens by Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman is all about close platonic relationships of various kinds. The relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale, and the relationship between Adam and his friends are central to the story.

 

A Night in a Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny is also good. Without giving too much away, the main character is a dog, and he has a close relationship with his owner. His relationships to the familiars of other human/humanish characters are also portrayed. Relationships aren’t the main topic of the book, but they are present.

[Willowtree Cat]

I second the recommendations for Terry Pratchett and Diana Wynne Jones books. They are just great and fun to read at all ages.

 

My contribution to the list is another young adult fantasy series: The Farsala Trilogy by Hilari Bell. It follows three young people as they deal with and ultimately revolt against a conquering nation. I remember being astonished when I finished the series that none of the three had been paired up. They went off at the end to each do their own thing.

 

Hilari Bell also has the series Knight and Rogue, which follows the adventures of a wannabe knight errant and his "squire". I think the knight has a separate love interest, but the series is more about the relationship between the knight and the squire/rogue.

[BodhranBace]

kon-tiki by thor hyerdal

it is non fiction that reads like a novel, about 6 Scandinavian scientist who travel across the pacific on a raft. it is hilarious and educational.