Aceade Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 Have a few shots of brandy beforehand. Alcohol makes (almost) everything better. Somebody stuck a red herring to my back, and I can hear birds squawking behind me! BIG birds! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 Old joke, they're trying to trick you into believing its there. Its just a red herring. Its getting hot, and I don't have many clothes for hot weather that don't give me dysphoria. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RacheI Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 Migrate with the seasons. I have a loaf of bread somewhere in this house and I have no clue where it is. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted April 15, 2021 Share Posted April 15, 2021 Well, it couldn't just get up and walk away. It's probably just loafing around somewhere. Where are my April showers? Need more rain. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Posted April 15, 2021 Share Posted April 15, 2021 Don’t ask for more rain; it’s the middle of a drought, we need to conserve water! Ever since I switched to coffee, my stuffed animals don’t invite me to their tea parties anymore. Do they not think I’m cool anymore? How can I make my stuffed animals think I’m cool? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 15, 2021 Share Posted April 15, 2021 Stuffed animals are a mean bunch. They won't talk to you directly unless you're inebriated. Clearly they promote bad lifestyles choices. You're better than them, talk to a cat. I keep forgetting to take pictures when there is nice weather. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tarelenion Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 Why take pictures? I am growing my hairs currently and they grow too slowly 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aceade Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 Add hot sauce to everything, it'll put hair on your chest (and everywhere else). A basilisk and a phoenix have locked me out of my kitchen (again). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A User Posted April 19, 2021 Share Posted April 19, 2021 Get the phoenix pissed off to the point where it burns the door. Proceed to then stomp on the basilisk and kill it. Leave after its safe enough to do so. Where can I get cleansed of the Christianity that f*cks my household? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Posted April 19, 2021 Share Posted April 19, 2021 Summon a demonic spirit with a ouija board to banish any and all unwanted holiness. My car makes the strangest noises when the engine starts — it sputters for a few seconds and then spouts off conservative talking points for 2 minutes or so before settling into a slightly rattly grumble. I knew I shouldn’t have let my uncle “fix” it last thanksgiving. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fell Posted April 19, 2021 Share Posted April 19, 2021 Well I think you have got a Transformer at home. I would not complain I think I have issues with teenegers arogancy. Especially if I can't say anything back to them because they are my bosses kids 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aceade Posted April 19, 2021 Share Posted April 19, 2021 Don't say anything to them. Just pull signs out of Hammerspace and hold them up to the audience. I pissed off the phoenix like I was told, and now I have an angry immortal flame turkey and equally angry supreme danger noodle chasing me down the road! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RacheI Posted April 21, 2021 Share Posted April 21, 2021 You forgot the super soaker, didn't you. With any luck, the danger noodle will eat the sodden birdy, and you can delay the problem an incarnation. I kinda like cute Disney movies, but the romantic scenes can be very awkward. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 21, 2021 Share Posted April 21, 2021 Stop watching movies all together, you never know when a romantic scene might pop up! Heck, avoid all media! You never know when they will spring a romantic scene on you! Everyone keeps writing backwards G isney as Disney! What heck people, its not D, its a backwards G! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RacheI Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 I've never seen backwards G isney, you should probably take off the tin hat. It's not even seven pm and I wanna go to bed. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 Start a good sleep schedule that way! I have all these theories that nobody believes. I took of the tin hat, but I can already feel the aliens tunneling into my kidneys— from my head no less! I am replacing the hat on my head. This concludes with absolute certainty that @FreeWalker is an alien. Is anyone listening? How do I get people to listen? It seems like the aliens have got to everyone these days. Cheese. I don't think I'm crazy. Am I crazy? Surely not! Must be those aliens. I keep telling people to wear a tinfoil hat, but they don't listen! Kids these days! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RacheI Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 You have such fascinating problems @trifasciata. It'd probably do you some good to take some time off, have a spa day, maybe ease up on the Crack Cake. And for your sake, don't mention anything about that tunneling again. Hate to see something happen to you on a bike ride. Not that I'd see it. Humans sure do like their cute little idiosyncrasies, don't we? I'm trying to go to sleep, but there's this echoey rattling coming from my closet. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 THE ALIENS ARE SLOWLY PLAYING THE GIANT MARACAS!!! Clearly they're trying to lure you into a false sense of security before they murder you and take you pelt! They're just trying to fish out your secrets before killing and eating you! I will never ride my bike again if thats what it takes to get the world to know! This Crack Cake is good. Would you pay for my spa day @FreeWalker? Or will I be left to suffer with my Crack Cake? I think I have an addiction to Crack Cake. Should I do anything about it?... I mean...Its soooo goooooood. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RacheI Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 I'll absolutely pay for your erm...spa, day @trifasciata. Nah, if something feels good you're supposed to keep doing it, right? pft. Aliens? Playing maracas in my closet? I highly doubt that. And if there are any, they'll like as not mistake my jacket for a pelaaaaarrghhhh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa heeeellllppp meagrheeded. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Unleash the Echidnas Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 Meagrheeded? @trifasciata I'm pretty sure that's not something in Welsh, right? No one has posted in the shameless thread in 25 minutes. Including me, since I've been busy here. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 I went to sleep. @FreeWalker used to be a viking, so that's probably it. They know all sorts of random woolen viking knowledge. Probably a battle cry or something. I wonder who they're fighting? What day would be best for a spa day? And which spa? I get free Crack Cake, so take that into consideration. And make sure to avoid the spas that are staffed by aliens. Make sure to also stay clear of the ones that make you take off your tinfoil hat— its a sure sign of alien cooperation or ownership! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fell Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 Go to the Sims spa. They should be safe? I have too much of a free time... What should I do with it ? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tarelenion Posted April 23, 2021 Share Posted April 23, 2021 lock yourself in, then it is not free time anymore I want to change my avatar but I have my rule that says that my Avatar should be this one 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aceade Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Reupload your current avatar, My ROFLcopter won't laugh. If it won't laugh, it can't fly. If it can't fly...I'm stuck. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 The code says to both roll on the floor and fly. There is your problem. You need a flying floor for this to work. The weekend is too close to being over. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fell Posted April 26, 2021 Share Posted April 26, 2021 Another will come on the end of thids week. I am starting no miss hugs.... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nazokashii Posted April 29, 2021 Share Posted April 29, 2021 You need to train on your accuracy more, if you're starting to miss them. Might also be an idea to check up on your vision, and things like that. Take care! I get so overwhelmed by all the things to do this upcoming week for university... it'll probably be alright, but I get stressed having things on my to-do list. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RacheI Posted April 29, 2021 Share Posted April 29, 2021 It looks like the root of the problem is your to do list. I'd say burn it, but then you'd be at a loss of what to do and might starve by accident. However. If you smoke your to do lists, there won't be anything on them but you'll absorb the task oriented motivation into your blood stream. Highly recommend. Blood stream is such a weird phrase. Do I have red ferns growing by mine? Oh god what a sad story I miss my dog now. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quadfasciata Posted April 29, 2021 Share Posted April 29, 2021 I'm a cat person. I feel no sympathy towards your situation. Nesting geese are blocking me from going certain places. That and dead fish. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RacheI Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 If you had a labrador they'd g̶e̶t̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶e̶s̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶e̶m̶p̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶d̶r̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶s̶e̶l̶v̶e̶s̶ ̶f̶e̶t̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶r̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶c̶k̶ fend off the angry geese and haul the fish away in nets like they were bred to do. Your plight is pathetic. I think the mafia is after me: there's a strange car parked out front and I'm scared to sleep. Spoiler And the useless mouse friendly cat is probably in league. 😋 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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