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Coffee and a Lack of Empathy (game)


Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

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MakeupJunkie4

Bathe in Nair!

 

My pens always run out of ink at the worst times. 

 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Have you considered writing everything in your own blood?

 

I'm terrified of pointy sticks

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Skycaptain

Be blunt with whoever is holding it 

 

I've to deliver a washing machine to the 35th floor of a tower block and the lift is broken 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Transform into a bat and fly it up

 

Someone painted a crusifix on my door, and now I don't seem to be able to touch the door

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Grey-Ace Ventura

Throw a chainsaw at the door a few times until there's an opening big enough for a bat.

 

My shoulder hurts.

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Marimbasticks

Hurt your other shoulder. Now it's even.

 

Technology hates me this week.

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Stéphane

Hate it back, you'll see who sticks with it longer.

 

I am more sentimental than ever and it is becoming a bit weird. 

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Andrea KF

Watch the news for an hour or so, including the commercial breaks. That should get you a bit more cynic for a while.

 

My fangs... I mean teeth, are not white enough.

 

 

 

 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Go howl at the moon for a while, the moonlight should bleech them nicely

 

My coffin, er.... bed is getting old and shabby, 700 years, um I mean 7 years is quite old for a.... bed

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Mackenzie Holiday

Go to a cemetery... I mean... mattress store, and dig up a new one. Just remember to move the soil of your native land from your old one to the new one... I mean... remember to... keep the same box-spring?

 

I had a vivid nightmare last night that a very large bat flew through my open window and disappeared into the shadowy corner of my room, then I noticed a strange man was standing over me, and when I woke up, I discovered two puncture wounds on my neck.

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Marimbasticks

Stop going to bed with meat forks. 

 

My lips are always chapped.

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ShrimpyShiro

It's because you wear your flesh body too much. Try wearing reptilian skin, you'll feel better.

 

There aren't enough hours in a day.

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Skycaptain

Readjust time so each hour consists of thirty minutes, problem solved in an instant 

 

My coffee maker just swore at me 

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MakeupJunkie4

Wash it out with soap! ;) 

 

My Ben & Jerry's melted.

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Move to the north pole, it should freeze again there.

 

My eyes are looking rather red

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Mackenzie Holiday

Use eye drops... of whatever color you would prefer your eyes to be.

 

Spoiler

11079595.jpg


 

I forgot to add salt to my cookie dough before I baked them and now this whole batch is ruined!

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LiveLaugh(Love?)

It's the perfect excuse to make more! 

 

My toes are looking weird and I think I have frostbite.

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Just leave them, if they fall off you'll know it was either frostbite or leprosy

 

 

 

You said 'bite' and now I have this tremendous urge to sink my fangs... er.. teeth into something soft and... juicy.

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Bite a rock. That should give your jaw some exercise as well.

 

I forgot to buy bread when I did the shopping.

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Andrea KF

Have some beer instead, it's basically liquid bread.

 

I need to cut my cla...nails. I've never liked that.

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Just leave them long and sharp, the better to tear into juicy prey...
Oops, dozed off on my keyboard for a moment there, it is nearly dawn eleven pm so I am tired, what I meant to say was, just leave your nails long, then you can paint them, I think that's what humans people do isn't it?

 

Someone else like me, is encroaching on my territory and making meals people suspicious

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Skycaptain

Just have a sword-fight on the boundary of your territory and call it garden fencing 😋😋

 

Every full moon my palms go hairy 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Get a dog, any dog, especially at the full moon, and steal it. Then train it to sniff out remote controls, then set it loose in your bedroom and tell it to "find it!"

 

I'm really really pale, like white as a sheet no matter what I try

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Andrea KF

Ask this guy for help. He certainly have find some solution to your problem.

 

Last night I ate three sticks, something disgusting I sniffed out on the ground, a TV remote control and a homeless guy. I'm not feeling very well in my stomach today.

 

 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Lock yourself outside in the garden in case you throw up, we don't want you ruining the carpet, or worse, chewing it as dessert


People always tell me my hands are very cold, basically room temperature. The phrase as cold as death has been used, but haha, that's obviously an exageration

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Marimbasticks

I hear there are special gloves that improve circulation in your hands, That might help.

 

I think I broke my dishwasher...

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oh now you're worried about it? should've thought about that when you acted careless and lost it in the first place. don't bother looking, that sh!t is gone.

 

instead of being happy, that I have an entire Sunday ahead of me, I feel down, that tomorrow is Monday again...

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Skycaptain

Cancel Monday and call it Sunday the second 

 

My cat seems to be dating next door's cat and I barely see them other than for food 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Kidnap next door's cat so the two can be together forever

 

My cat has made enemies with next door's cat, they are fighting sometimes and I've had to rush outside to stop them when I hear them yowling

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Kidnap next door's cat and give it to me. I want a cat and it will be on the other side of the planet, far away from your cat. win-win

 

Anyone has any idea how to transport a cat from NZ to SWE during these times?

 

 

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