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Coffee and a Lack of Empathy (game)


Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

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Marimbasticks

Just ignore the work for a while. It's not going anywhere.

 

My cat really wants to go outside but I'm afraid he will catch one of our resident doves.

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Mackenzie Holiday

Simply explain to him that if he wants to go outside he must not under any circumstances catch any of the resident doves, or else he will lose his going outside privilege. I’m sure your cat will understand.

 

I have a song stuck in my head, but it’s not a good one.

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Replace it with something else, here, I'll help you




I have a pimple that's annoying me

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get in front if a mirror and stare it down until it capitulated and goes away

 

my favorite tv series keeps lagging

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Make your own episodes and film them in your living room

 

My glasses frames are broken

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Grey-Ace Ventura

Tape the lenses to your face.

 

I probably made myself sick from stressing with school crap.

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Marimbasticks

Go lick all the surfaces in a grocery store and then you can get sick from something else.

 

I'm worried about the future of my career.

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Switch careers and start a flour and toilet paper production company

 

Everyone is stressed and grumpy all the time

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Mackenzie Holiday

Blast soothing death metal really loudly until they all calm down.

 

I promised a witch that I'd give her my firstborn after I stole some rampion from her garden, but the thing is, I'm not planning on having any children. Do I tell her? Do I just go about my life as usual? What's the ethical thing to do here?

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I wouldn’t worry about it to much I’m sure mother (@Moon Spirit ☽) will understand.
 

The site I read manga at has a bug that won’t let anyone login, what should I do?

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Use some bug spray on your computer

 

I'm hungry

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blunose2772

Change your name to Sleepy

 

my shoe is untied

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

superglue it to your foot so it stays on. 

 

My hair is messy

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Marimbasticks

Shave it off.

 

My phone is about to die but my charger is just out of reach.

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MakeupJunkie4

***EDITED*** I was replying to a different poster - sorry!
Toss it in the trash. Buy a new phone.

 

My shoulder pops when I move it.

Edited by MakeupJunkie444
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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

take your arm off and store it in your closet.

 

I'm tired

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blunose2772

Run behind the car so you'll get exhausted

 

My hot water heater broke

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Make yourself some ice tea!

 

I can't remember if I turned off the oven or not before I left home.

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LiveLaugh(Love?)

Call the fire department, just in case.

 

My roof is leaky.

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Grey-Ace Ventura

Plug it with ace rings.

 

My period started and I'm losing sensation in my limbs :( 

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Marimbasticks

Numb the rest of your body to even out the feeling. 

 

My cat keeps waking me up too early. 

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Cat is just making sure that you've plenty of time to feed them and play with them before you leave home 

 

I have a cucumber crying in the fridge 

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Put a tomato in there. They always have good jokes to make cucumbers happy again. Like this one:

"Two tomatoes are crossing a street. One of them gets run over. The other one then says "Ketch Up!"

 

I'm on a spaceship halfway to the Andromeda Galaxy. It's another 10 000 years before I reach my destination but it's getting quite lonely and boring.

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Marimbasticks

Join the club.

 

There are so many weeds in my yard it's starting to look like my abandoned Animal Crossing village.

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ShrimpyShiro

Just let them grow out. If they get long enough, you can be immortalised in the Guiness Book of World Records!

 

I suck at DIY.

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blunose2772

Dig up some dirt on someone and blackmail them into doing it all for you.

 

 

I have writer's block. 

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Skycaptain

Drop a block of wood on your bare toe then write about what that feels like 

 

I laughed so much my head fell off 

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MakeupJunkie4

Super glue does it all.

 

I ran out of hand sanitizer.

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Andrea KF

Radioactive waste works just as well.☢️👍

 

An extra arm is growing out of my back.

 

 

 

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