Grey-Ace Ventura Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 Put whipped cream and a cherry on top of the smoothie. The sun is attracted to me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
erichamion Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 The sun is attracted to everybody. Just make sure you have the right amount of angular momentum, and you won't get too close. It's hot in the summer. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 You should move to New Zealand if you’d prefer cooler summers. Can you celebrate Christmas during the summer? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted August 22, 2020 Share Posted August 22, 2020 With the variability of our weather we've the same chance of getting a white Christmas in June as December, so yes The weather has turned cooler, and the cats have stolen the duvet 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted August 22, 2020 Share Posted August 22, 2020 Adopt a psilent p at the start of your username. Some of my friends still haven't adopted a psilent o at the start of their usernames! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted August 22, 2020 Share Posted August 22, 2020 I'd change but then people will think I'm pansexual, own a box or am an ancient supercontinent. I got hungry all of a sudden. I want pancakes 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 22, 2020 Share Posted August 22, 2020 There are no pancakes available, only tortillas. I have slept for too long 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Just do everything at the double and you'll soon catch up There's a wasp swimming backstroke in my coffee 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Offer to be its manager and then start the training for the postponed Olympics. I'm all out of nail polish. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 You could use acrylic paint instead. I don’t know what colour to paint my nails. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebellstar Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Use a different colour at random for each nail. I hate wearing my glasses but I need them to read. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 don't worry books are very polite, they won't tell you that you look old. My books are plotting against me in a ace-phobic conspiracy plot, any help? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Have you tried threatening them with fire? Can you get audiobooks that look like books? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 if you take LSD you can i bought some oregano at a concert and can't get rid of it 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 Just burn it then. It burns better if you roll paper around until you get a tube. Then suck one end while burning it for maximum effect. My stockpile of canned tomato soup is running low but I don't dare leave my bomb shelter. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 I guess it’s starve or eat your waste to survive then. That thought has made my stomach churn. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 Perhaps some of your waste will settle your stomach? Someone opened a new battenburger stall and my battenburger won't stop screeching at me 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 Screech back to assert dominance. I tried screeching back to assert dominance over my brother but it's not working. Why? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 Maybe he's too alpha male,have you tried tickling him with a feather to assert dominance. If that doesn't work "mark your territory" over his things to assert such dominance Apparently crapping INA public place is a crime, anyone able to help me out of jail? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 You should crap yourself regularly until they put you in a mental facility instead. I’ve been put into a mental facility without my consent. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Use your plastic scissors to make an army of paper dolls. You can then use the doll army to take over the place I went to a mindreader, but they said they don't read short stories 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Use the paper doll army to force the mindreader to read your short story. Better do it before you hit the bucket tho. My typing suggestions are trolling me because the 3 suggestions that came up by default were my birth name, the, and I 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Doesn’t that just mean you like talking about yourself? I’ve made a paper doll army to take over this mental facility, but the staff keep stamping on them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Tell them they're being exceedingly rude. Surely they'll stop. I marked my territory over his things and now he's chasing me with a knife. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 It's your knife now I presume? Oh, the irony. I also got stabbed once. It still hurts to think about it. Hurts in the thigh to be precise. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Does getting thigh help with the pain (i'm truly sorry) people don't believe i'm asexual and often forget that i came out to them 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ClaryFray1984 Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Remind them every day with post its!! Attach them everywhere you can!! Pen sold separately.... I cant find matching odd socks... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 I found some. They're matching and they're odd. I've decided to burn down this mental health facility, since the staff don't appreciate my polite objection to their stamping. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 Yelling "you're driving me insane" wasn't the wisest thing to say now, was it? I'm hungry, but the shops aren't open yet 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 Build a time machine. I'm stuck in the year 2020. 1347 was so much better. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.