Aquatic Paradox Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 You should sleep on it. I’ve bought a new metallic toothbrush and have noticed the amazing difference it makes. Even if it does hurt. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Who need gums anyway? I just lost a staring contest with my cat. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
50ShadesOfGreyAndPurple Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 use fire till you win i'm struggling for something to do Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 You better get prepared for the apocolypse then. I've found zombies wielding rusty toothbrushes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Go buy all the soda you can. You can drink it to survive the apocalypse, and it'll clean the rust off the toothbrushes so the zombies can't infect you. I'm feeling kinda woozy from drinking gallons of soda. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jordan... Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Next time try drinking in metric instead of imperial I'm extremely bored at work 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Then don't work. Do something else instead, like pornsurfing or bullying your workmates. You'll be surprised at all the fun your boss will have in store for you. A mean old man stole my ice cream. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 You should have pushed his hand towards his chest, so that it’d make a mess on your shirt. There are a bunch of pigeons making a raucous in my attic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Play B A Robertson song Bang Bang at full blast My cats are going loopy chasing all the displaced Pigeons 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Your cats should know not to hunt pigeons. They carry can disease. I have an appointment with the dentist, but the dentist turns out to be a zombie. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Gargle soda when he goes in with the rusty toothbrush so he can't infect you. I was being chased by zombies, but then a swarm of bats rescued me by flying me into the air. The problem is, I think they're taking me to their bat cave. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Well stop thinking, then. Problem solved. I have to pee but I've been listening to scary stories, and it's dark. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
erichamion Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Have somebody sneak up behind you and startle you at a really tense moment in the story. You probably won't need to pee anymore after that. I don't have a bat cave. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Have your rich parents whacked in an alley to inherit their large fortune and build your own. My cat doesn't respond to ridicule the same way my imaginary cat did. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Your cat doesn’t respond because it is so jaded and accustomed to previous ridicule that it no longer cares. I don’t know how to get out of this damp, dark bat cave (which smells like guano). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 There are a lot of things in this world we don't know. My cat doesn't bring me dead birds and mice the way my imaginary cat did. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 I don't see the problem, but I wonder why you wanted those dead animals in your imagination. I'm invited to yet another fancy dinner with the people that matters. I will be the sideshow but I'm terrible at juggling. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Instead of juggling you could make balloon animals. Don’t you think it’d be cool to see life sized balloon animals? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Don't blame me if they anthropomorphise and eat all your food Some geezer called Samuel Johnson is chasing after me yelling that I've ruined his life's work Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Yell back at him. There's a heat wave going on and I ran out of ice cream. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 You'd better stick some cake in the freezer and then eat it chilled. There seems to be a splinter stuck underneath all my newly-grown skin and I can't use my finger because of it 😧 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eva Blue Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Stick more splinters in and become a cool hedgehog. 😎 I can't seem to find a ride home since COVID shut down our busing system. What should I do? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 Ask someone if they'd give you a ride if you stored yourself in the boot/trunk. I've found a clown that can make lifesized balloon animals which can anthromorphise. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 You're filming a horror movie? Not really a problem but: A woodchuck chuck my wood. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
erichamion Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Would you chuck wood back at the woodchuck chucking wood at you from the back of a wooden chuckwagon? Help! I got lost in that last sentence and can't grammar my way out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 You should delete it and try again until you get it right. My real cat brings me dead or injured animals, but I wish he didn't. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Just set yourself up as a vet, and call your cat an animal ambulance It's so hot people are frying eggs on the bonnet of my taxi 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Put some bacon and tomatoes on the roof and voila! a taxi-cab becomes a taxi-cafe! It's too hot to do anything! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Myssterry Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Open your fridge door and climb inside. There is an annoying fly in here that Little Dog is trying to catch but failing. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Burn your house down. The fly will die as well. My cake got freezer burn. :( 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.