Anommamous Posted July 15, 2020 Share Posted July 15, 2020 You'd better get back to 2030 and fix the mixup before someone eats your more primitive, non-cake TARDIS. I commissioned a cake to be modeled after me by a baker with evil ambitions, but it seems to have disappeared. On top of that, there is a half-eaten corpse in my kitchen. How did that get there?? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted July 15, 2020 Author Share Posted July 15, 2020 *Shrugs* Oh well, you may as well eat the other half. I went back to 2030, only just made it, and accidentally parked my cake tardis inside my non-cake tardis, and my non-cake tardis inside my cake tardis. Now my tardis is full of crumbs, and my crumbs are full of tardis. Help. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 15, 2020 Share Posted July 15, 2020 Just eat anything that looks like tardis that is in or around your non-cake tardis. I have just gone into town and noticed that everyone has been turned to cake. Now I'm worried about the cake mob. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted July 15, 2020 Author Share Posted July 15, 2020 Eat them with icecream I ate everything that looked like TARDIS. Now I am standing in an empty street, with no TARDIS. I have the strangest feeling that the contents of my stomach are moving rythmically up and down. My hands are glowing with a golden light, and I can feel the pull of the Universe. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
erichamion Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 What kind of creature would accidentally eat the heart of an actual tardis? I know a wolf wouldn't do that. If you were a wolf, you'd be a bad one! All this cake is making me fear the saying, "You are what you eat." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 Don’t let the cake mob hear you. It looks like there’s a crowd where everyone is covered in sugar glazing and wearing pink afro wigs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 I told you not to eat those mushrooms I dropped a spanner whilst working on my car, and shouted something rude very loudly. I now have three unconscious nuns and a very irate bishop to deal with. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 If they're already unconscious, half the work's done 😀 Assuming your car works: Put them in the trunk and then dump them somewhere far away from your garage. So that you my work in pease next time. Dunno what to do whith the bishop though. I burnt porridge in my favourite kettle. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nima Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 guess it's your favorite porridge now. I'm getting rashes from wearing face masks... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 I'm sure niqab masks are more comfortable. It turns out the folks in pink afro wigs are the cake mob and they turn anyone that prefers pie into cake. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 I hope you prefer cake to pie then, but if not, run. The superglue holding my skin together is super uncomfortable. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 It's probably best just to rip it off again, then. I prefer some pies over some cakes and vice versa. Where does that leave me? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 The they’re savoury pies, you’re safe, but if they’re sweet pies, it’s just your arms that will be turned to cake. The cake mob cake accepted me, which means I get my own pink afro wig. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Pity it's candyfloss, and you'll get covered in ants I bought a bearskin rug off the Internet. Someone forgot to say there's live bear inside it 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Sounds like the bear has a nice SkyCaptain-skin rug in its apartment now, or? I got fired for being naked at work on Casual Friday. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Sounds like you weren’t casual enough. Did you forget the whipped cream? Am I the only one that thinks seals are like dogs that have adapted to water? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 No, of course not. Seals are popular pets for sirens and other denizens of the deep for that very reason. Is this really how we make sure we're all real, now that the cakepocalypse is upon us? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 If you're cake it's like being turned into stone, but you're more susceptible to the elements and you can feel pain. Since I'm not part of the cake mob (including the candyfloss wig), I was thinking of eating one of cakefied pie bakers. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 If so, I suggest you eat some cherry pie 🤭 I attended an important reception with the royalty. I let out a "silent-but-deadly" and now the prince is in a coma. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 Can't have been that deadly then I was at a funeral, read Andrea's post and started laughing. I am currently not the most popular person there 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 You might as well laugh at their contempt. I was at a wedding and accidentally knocked over the wedding cake. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 The tradition is that you have to marry the baker then. Hopefully a real person and not a cakefied pie baker. My coffee machine broke. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted July 18, 2020 Author Share Posted July 18, 2020 Meh, coffee is gross. Just mix some caffeine pills into a hot chocolate, and let me know whether you die, if you don't die I might try it. I have a bad reaction to caffeine, but I'm always so tired Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 Try amphetamine I put caffeine pills in my hot chocolate, drank it and "survived". I got turned into a coffee vampire instead. It's like a regular vampire but only caffeine addicts will do as victims. I got my coffin in the cellar of the local Starbucks. It turned out I was the only caffeine addict in my neighbourhood. Now I'm starving. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Aquatic Paradox Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 Search for people that drink coffee in the mid-afternoon. Those are the caffeine addicts you’re looking for. I’m having a wedding with the baker of the original wedding cake. I was thinking of making our wedding cake one of the cakefied people. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted July 18, 2020 Author Share Posted July 18, 2020 Sounds like a good plan. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Eating people is fine. So, what exactly did you need from me. I started taking amphetamines and I haven't slept in a week, is this normal? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 Nope. You're now an amphetamine zombie, but it's a well-known fact that amphetamine zombies can be satisfied from the blood of caffeine addicts as well. This seems like it happens to me a lot, but I have another strange person biting my neck. This one's murmuring "caffeine"... weird 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 You really need to start investing in vampire repellent. I'm eating evaporated milk with cereal and it tastes like shattered hopes and dreams. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anommamous Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 That's great! Shattered hopes and dreams are both delicious and nourishing. All my neighbors are turning into supernatural creatures with addiction problems 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 Start a "supernatural creatures with addictions anonymous" support group. I'm being forced to go to some stupid support group because of my caffeine addiction and that vampire that bit me earlier. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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