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Coffee and a Lack of Empathy (game)


Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

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People keep accusing me of having a dirty mind 

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Well, you already got your ace license taken away for being rude, so I don't blame them.

 

I have a difficult piece I have to play soon.

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

Just eat it! Tastes sweet after all.

 

I'm panicking about getting stuff done bit still procrastinating.

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May I suggest a nap?  It's hard to panic and sleep at the same time.

 

My favorite relatives live in a state where the numbers of Covid cases are sharply rising.  I had hoped to visit them for Thanksgiving.

 

 

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Just covideo chat with them 

 

I've broken out in neon-green blotches 

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Rob all of the banks.

 

I can't figure out what the square root of -1 upon 0 is!

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Make up an answer; that's what imaginary numbers are for.

 

My Wi-Fi keeps disconnecting and it's getting on my nerves 

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Good riddance!  Join an Amish community.  They will welcome you with open arms.

 

I'll be late to work if I take time for a shower right now.  But...stinky!

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

Get splashed by a car driving through a giant puddle on the way there so you have an excuse to go home and shower.

 

My brother hates my amazing science jokes.

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He's just revoltaing against your wit

 

My cats are jealous of my partner 

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Put up inspirational poster: "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."  They'll catch the drift.

 

Trump's mouth looks like a sucker fish.  It disturbs me.

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storms&squalls

Buy a bunch of fish. You'll get used to it.

 

I can't decide how to shelve my books.

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You need the Goo Gone Finder! Sold separately for a few payments of $9.95

 

I need to tighten a screw but I don't have the right screwdriver

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try driving west each evening as fast as you can, you'll have a longer day

 

my store ran out of my favorite wine 😢

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Buy a good brand of grape juice, add yeast and let it ferment. If the alcohol content is high enough, you'll probably forget about the wine.

 

I feel like crying but I have work to do

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Grey-Ace Ventura

Do both on your back in bed. That way you can cry without tears falling all over your work.

 

The bat I'm trying to befriend just won't budge.

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You can be friends with a stationary bat.  Unless you meant it won't budge in its feelings of antipathy towards you.  In that case you are out of luck.

 

I tried driving west to enjoy a longer day but quickly wound up in the Pacific Ocean.

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A move is in order.  Arizona can accommodate you (stay away from the yellow areas):

 

220px-Arizona_Daylight_Savings_Time_map.

 

When I'm supposed to have a lack of empathy, instead I give really good advice.

 

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storms&squalls

I think you can order those on Amazon.

 

I keep procrastinating. 

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

You procrastinate your procrastination, and the two cancel out thus anti-crastinating.

 

I keep waking up late.

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reset your clocks a few hours late so you wake up on time.

 

I keep getting nosebleeds.

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storms&squalls

Remove your nose. Then it won't be a problem anymore.

 

My sister always runs into the bathroom right before I can go in.

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Your not shivering, your trembling with antici-pation

 

I opened a boiled egg and a baby chicken has run across the kitchen 

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