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Coffee and a Lack of Empathy (game)


Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

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I would be sympathetic if I knew what that meant, but I have no idea and can't be bothered to google.

 

I think I must be feeding a tapeworm that has taken up residence in my cat, because she has been eating for two lately.

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Congratulations to the new member of your family!

 

Everytime I shower I start to sing horribly. I can't help it and don't know how to stop.

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Record it, and play it back to yourself repeatly 

 

I have no coffee 

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No coffee, no sympathy from me.  (Especially since you are holding up the Guess the Word! game.)

 

It's 1:00 am in Portland and my eyes are burning embers in my head.

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Are you sure?

 

I don't know what to do about my unaccepting family.

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Unaccept them right back!

 

 I'm stuck in this small closet in somebodys home. How do I get out of here?

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That's OK, six hours until bedtime, no problem 

 

My cats can open the door, letting their friends in 

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

Ban your cats for having friends.

I keep waking up late and almost missing class.

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Grey-Ace Ventura

Throw a pumpkin pie spice latte in the air to warm it up.

 

It's not even getting cold here. The breeze is still hot.

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MultiFandomAce

Suspend some ice cubes in the air to cool down the breeze!

 

My neighbors dog never stops barking

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

Bark back to assert dominance. You are stronger.

 

We have too much food and yet there's nothing to eat

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Take up firewalking 

 

My toenails are now on fire 

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Stick each foot into one of your cold, cold armpits.  Good for flexibility too.

 

Soooooo...tiiiiiiired...buuuut...haaaave...twoooo...moooore...stuuuudents...tooodaaaay... 

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Use them as cushions

 

The bills are piling up. The bank account is drying up

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

Juice the bills and use the juice to moisten your bank account.

 

I feel so unmotivated.

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Sit on a porcupine, that'll get you moving 

 

The sliced ham in my fridge has just eaten three tomatoes and half a cucumber 

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Eat the ham, then it'll seem like you also ate the tomatoes and the half of a cucumber.

 

I am running out of toothpaste, but I'm too lazy to go to the store.

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storms&squalls

Just scream a little bit louder every time they interrupt you. They'll get the message.

 

So much homework!!

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Get a smaller house 

 

My electricity cable has a leak 

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That's what straws are for.

 

Both my students are on Zoom meetings with their teachers and classmates at the same time.  Sooo loud.  Dueling loudness!!!

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sSevenOfSpadeƧƨ

Have the loudness duel to the death. Then at least you'll only have one loudness.

 

I drunk ginger ale while eating some spicy chili

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