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Corona celibacy = lose rythm


MrDane

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backstory: I am sexual with an ace wife. We have sex, because I need it and she is okay with that. On a few occasions she enjoys my touch, but mostly she gives me a “massage”. She would be fine (finer?) if we never had it. 
 

my situation: she and family is isolated and rigth now, home schooled. I go to my school and are being exposed to a lot of children every day. Therefore I am in a kind of home isolation. I abstain from physical contact with my family. Sleep in my own room. Use my own bathroom...etc.

 

What I worry about: what if she finds out, that she actually likes the non-sex period much better and even does not miss the physical connection. 
 


 

 

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brbdogsonfire

I'd agree with CBC. Your wife is most likely intelligent enough to know non contact is an option for her and still tries to keep you happy. I really doubt time away from it will make it an issue if it already wasn't a major one. 

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anisotrophic

idk it seems like reasonable worry. Maybe drop hints about missing it if you’re afraid she thinks you don’t really need it? If you think you can do that in a way that’s going to be received kindly, with love.

 

I’m so tired with our kids sent home from school. my parents started helping but that means we’re now being extra super isolated from anyone else, to keep them safe. I remind myself about how hard it is for folks on the frontline in healthcare; it’s just fatigue, not dangerous for us. Plus we haven’t lost our jobs, so many are. It’s a tough time.

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two people talking sit at a table with four chairs. how can you better listen to the person you care about and hear less from the imitation of her that lives in your head?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, it does work out fine! ...but I have to say, that I am getting super-aware of how she does not need me.  She have given a few more hugs though! That’s nice!

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nanogretchen4

Right now I think it's much more worrisome that you are working at a physical school that is open while that is so unsafe that you feel the need to quarantine from your own family. Protecting your wife and kids is great. What about the kids at the school and their parents? When the kids go home are their parents supposed to socially isolate from them?

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8 hours ago, nanogretchen4 said:

Right now I think it's much more worrisome that you are working at a physical school that is open while that is so unsafe that you feel the need to quarantine from your own family. Protecting your wife and kids is great. What about the kids at the school and their parents? When the kids go home are their parents supposed to socially isolate from them?

Some places didn't close their schools and people don't have much of a choice if their jobs say they have to go in cause "essential"....

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anisotrophic

Well, if you want to keep a job, you keep working if you’re expected to. Which has put some people at risk. Sweden did not close its schools, for example.  I hope @MrDane’s health remains good, 🤞

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Also some places also kept schools open for students of essential workers (nurses, doctors) 

 

13 hours ago, Serran said:

Some places didn't close their schools and people don't have much of a choice if their jobs say they have to go in cause "essential"....

I'm an accountant and under irish government guidelines, is considered  a "vital employee" (I disagree but government and employer have final word. I was never so disappointed to be called "vital" I also hate to use the word vital for myself. Vital is doctors, nurses, super market workers, delivery drivers etc etc those keeping the country going. I'm not) 

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1 hour ago, iff said:

Also some places also kept schools open for students of essential workers (nurses, doctors) 

We kept daycares open for essential workers but we shut down schools due to the risk of the kids. Daycare is smaller, so 20 or so kids vs having 500+ in a small campus and 100+ in one room during after school care programs. 

 

1 hour ago, iff said:

 

I'm an accountant and under irish government guidelines, is considered  a "vital employee" (I disagree but government and employer have final word. I was never so disappointed to be called "vital" I also hate to use the word vital for myself. Vital is doctors, nurses, super market workers, delivery drivers etc etc those keeping the country going. I'm not) 

Heh, yeah. Fast food workers were never so disappointed than when they got called essential. It is essential I can get my McDonald's! .... my cousin got called essential and he produces paint (paint is essential apparently...)

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2 hours ago, Serran said:

he produces paint (paint is essential apparently...)

In NY, construction/renovation-type work that is necessary to protect health/safety and avoid property damage had been classified as essential...  paint/painting would definitely come under those.

 

Making the room green because you’re tired of beige?  No.  But painting over repairs, encapsulating friable materials, etc., yes.  E.g., I had water leaking through cracked stucco and I was allowed to have someone come

caulk and paint.  Now that it’s not leaking I have to wait to get a mason to fix it for real.

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15 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

In NY, construction/renovation-type work that is necessary to protect health/safety and avoid property damage had been classified as essential...  paint/painting would definitely come under those.

 

Making the room green because you’re tired of beige?  No.  But painting over repairs, encapsulating friable materials, etc., yes.  E.g., I had water leaking through cracked stucco and I was allowed to have someone come

caulk and paint.  Now that it’s not leaking I have to wait to get a mason to fix it for real.

He doesn't do repairs. He works in a factory that mixes paints and does baked on paints for industrial companies. I don't see how paint comes under health and safety.. repairs yeah, but your wall being a little off color isn't going to hurt anything for a few months if paint factories stop making "mint dreams " or whatever colors they come up with. But, basically every factory stayed open cause the stay at home orders excluded factory workers. 

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Ah, I didn’t realize he made solely industrial paint.  I guess then it would depend on what it’s used for.

 

Exterior house paint as part of a repair is... part of the repair.  In a climate with any rain it’s what keeps the repair from failing right away.  Interior is more likely to be cosmetic unless you are encapsulating, but the same factories and stores make, mix and sell both anyway.

 

I’m in an essential industry but our leadership asked us to comply with the spirit of the law rather than the letter and work from home unless we absolutely could not do our jobs that way.

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I expect you will find that she wants to keep it as the new normal.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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