2XD Posted April 19, 2020 Share Posted April 19, 2020 So, I thought i kinda figured out the "sub categories" of asexuality, but yesterday I saw this meme or whatever, donut ace analogy thing, and now im confused about the definition of grey-ace. Bascially its goes Asexuals see the donuts, but dont have the urge to eat it. They dont hate it or whatever, they just dont feel the desire to eat it. Demis will only eat the donuts if its their absolute favorite kind and Greys will sometimes have the urge to eat the donut, and sometimes dont. Soooo. .... I thought that being grey means that you do feel some sort of sexual attraction and are ok with certain/many sexual activities etc, but rather not PIV sex. So, that would mean: greys will eat the frosting & sprinkles off the donut. Coz saying that someone sometimes feels like having sex and sometimes dont, doesn't that just describe sexuals??? Since even sexual aren't always in the mood. Sorry, if this is kinda confusing. In the end, the definition doesn't really matter to me. I know how i feel and what im cofnroamtble with, no matter that its label is, but I just got confused seeing this yesterday. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted April 19, 2020 Share Posted April 19, 2020 *eats 🍩* What? It's a donut. Am I supposed to walk by and give up the sugary fried goodness? Link to post Share on other sites
2XD Posted April 19, 2020 Author Share Posted April 19, 2020 Just now, Jade Cross said: *eats 🍩* What? It's a donut. Am I supposed to walk by and give up the sugary fried goodness? lol. I know, right!?!?! I guess I should've used the Salad analogy 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted April 19, 2020 Share Posted April 19, 2020 27 minutes ago, 2XD said: Soooo. .... I thought that being grey means that you do feel some sort of sexual attraction and are ok with certain/many sexual activities etc, but rather not PIV sex. So, that would mean: greys will eat the frosting & sprinkles off the donut. The type of sex people enjoy has nothing to do with whether they're ace, grey, or not. Many sexuals aren't ok with piv sex but prefer other things. For example, I'm not okay with piv sex and I'd prefer other ways, but that doesn't make me grey. Being grey would mean that I for the most part don't experience sexual attraction and I may have only experienced it once in my whole life and will never again (just an example, doesn't apply specifically to everyone). The analogy should have been: Greys: under very rare circumstances will want to eat the donut but most of the time won't. Link to post Share on other sites
2XD Posted April 19, 2020 Author Share Posted April 19, 2020 3 minutes ago, Grey-Ace Ventura said: Greys: under very rare circumstances will want to eat the donut but most of the time won't. But isn't that he same as demi then? Now Im even more confused ... coz not wanting PIV sex is definitely not the standard. Try being in a relationship with a sexual male without ever wanting PIV sex ... I mean, thats a whole other story. But now i feel totally invalid. I guess im just heterosexual then. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted April 19, 2020 Share Posted April 19, 2020 Greysexual is a broader scope definition. It is different for everyone. Ultimately someone grey is between ace and allo. It could be that they rarely feel sexual attraction as the donut example you found is representing, but it also could be other grey area cases. Someone grey doesn’t feel that asexual fits them, but knows they are also not quite sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted April 19, 2020 Share Posted April 19, 2020 1 hour ago, 2XD said: But isn't that he same as demi then? Nah, demis must have a strong emotional connection before feeling sexual attraction. They would've had to spend a good day or two with the donut (I only say a day or two because you know, donuts do spoil) before wanting to eat it. Honestly the analogy is pretty trash. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted April 20, 2020 Share Posted April 20, 2020 Moved to The Grey Area, Sex and Related Discussions Janus DarkFox Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
2XD Posted April 20, 2020 Author Share Posted April 20, 2020 13 hours ago, Float On said: Greysexual is a broader scope definition. It is different for everyone. Ultimately someone grey is between ace and allo. It could be that they rarely feel sexual attraction as the donut example you found is representing, but it also could be other grey area cases. Someone grey doesn’t feel that asexual fits them, but knows they are also not quite sexual. Thanks! Ill just stick with "being in between ace and allo" coz that definitely feels like what i am. It definitly isnt easy, especially when people tell you "you're sexual"., but you yourself don't feel like it, and know that a "normal" hetero relationship is out of the question. Enjoying sexual activities but being not ok with PIV intercourse, is not "normal" and makes a relationship with a hetero person extremely hard in most cases. Feeling like this (not wanting PIV) but being told "you're sexual" (almost like : stop whining. youre not ace.) " just really sucks. For me, someone who is demi for example and will have PIV sex like, once every 3 months or whatever, under certain circumstances, seems more sexual, than someone who will never want pIV sex, but maybe be ok with oral or mutual masturabtion etc. Yes, those are sexual acts, but from my own experience, "normal sexual heterosexual" will want more and are not ok with only participating in these sexual acts. Of course there are some, but its definitely not "the standard" and has caused me a lot of anxiety thinking about dating and guys expecting PIV. My last relationship with a sexual may have worked if I was ok with PIV sex on occasion, since we did try to make it work for a while. But never having PIV was just not working for him, and that's what ultimately ended things. So no, i definitely dont feel like a "sexual" Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 20, 2020 Share Posted April 20, 2020 sexuals just go for the hole 😋😋 Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted April 20, 2020 Share Posted April 20, 2020 9 hours ago, Skycaptain said: sexuals just go for the hole 😋😋 The pole can be an alternative option Link to post Share on other sites
DuranDuranfan Posted April 20, 2020 Share Posted April 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Janus DarkFox said: The pole can be an alternative option Game, set, match! Link to post Share on other sites
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