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coming out stories


Jo_March

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You know, I just don't want to come out to my father. He wouldn't possibly acknowledge the existence of the asexual spectrum. He would possibly say something about possible errors of judgment. There would be chaos and my father wouldn't leave me alone. He would comment upon my words over and over again. :(

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I bought a horn ornament from a charity shop. I showed my parent, who said "very horny". I responded "unlike me - I'm asexual" and then I laughed awkwardly for ages because I'm a genuine comedian

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Critter_Peyt

The first person I came out to was my sister - we had a good talk and laughed a lot.  She's my best friend and I knew she would be the most supportive out of everyone else in my life. She asked a question or two at the time, but she really only asks questions when I share a little bit about my experiences. One time, I explained to her how I've never felt sexual attraction and admitted that I thought all stuff we see on tv was just exaggerated and people don't really feel the crazy type of attraction that's shown in the media. I also shared that before I knew I was ace, trying to figure out if I was attracted to someone or not was really confusing and I felt so in my head about something that typically relies trusting your gut. Her response was that she couldn't imagine going through life without it. About 2-3 weeks later I came out to my other sister, and she pretty much didn't have a response at all except to say that it was cool. She's pretty shy and I was, admittedly, a bit awkward in my delivery, so she was probably just caught off guard at the time.

 

Another time, I came out to a guy who told me he liked me and thought I liked him back. I'm a bad liar and have the memory of a fish, so I figured the best response was to be honest and he couldn't argue against the truth. He was pretty chill about it and we're still friends. 

 

I came out to everyone else by posting something on my instagram story on ace visibility day. I figured this was the safest way to do it because it gets the message across without adding the social pressure of likes or retweets. It also gave my friends and family who didn't know yet the time to process and approach me in their own time with questions or anything of the sort. It's been just a day since I came out, and I've gotten a few messages from supportive friends, but my mom hasn't said anything yet. I'm worried she's avoiding me around the house or thinks my asexuality is just a COVID-induced-depression symptom or the result of my dad passing when I was little. Sometime in the past year or two, she confessed that she was worried that my sisters and I have some deep-seeded issues because we have never had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner of any kind and never talk about it. In itself, that's pretty crazy to think about your kids, but it makes me worried that she's internalizing my asexuality and thinks she somehow messed up and that's why I'm like this. 

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Unleash the Echidnas
16 hours ago, Critter_Peyt said:

it makes me worried that she's internalizing my asexuality and thinks she somehow messed up 

A day can be really long. While, at the same time, being pretty short in other ways.

 

My mum kind of went there when I came out as genderqueer and explained about not feeling committed enough to be particularly interested in either guys or girls. We talked off and on for a few weeks afterwards and still do from time to time years later. It took her most of a month just to process the basic ideas and move away from an assumption I was going to pair off with someone. Despite abundant evidence it hadn't ever been much of a priority for me and still isn't.

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ace bookdragon

I came out recently to my mom and my queer cousin. My cousin has been really supportive of me so far, and my mom has a lot of questions, but she seems pretty ok with it. The rest of my family doesn't know. I hope I can somehow get a ring and/or a flag before too long. 

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3 hours ago, Ace Bookdragon said:

I came out recently to my mom and my queer cousin. My cousin has been really supportive of me so far, and my mom has a lot of questions, but she seems pretty ok with it. The rest of my family doesn't know. I hope I can somehow get a ring and/or a flag before too long. 

Welcome to AVEN! :cake: 

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ace bookdragon
On 5/10/2020 at 3:53 PM, will123 said:

Welcome to AVEN! :cake: 

Thank you!

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RandomLibraryGhost

Oooh story time:

 

I was out as bi & nonbinary to all of my friends since day one, so there was already a lot of ease and trust between us - most of them are also queer. When I started to figure out that I was on the ace-spec, I didn't really feel confident talking to them about it though because it kinda felt like admitting that I had lied to them. Don't get me wrong, I'd never actually lied to them about my preferences or experience but I'm pretty known for my innuendo and knowledge about kinky stuff so everyone alsways just assumes I have way more of a sex life than I'll probably ever have.

Because of this reluctance, all my ace coming outs so far happened while drunk. The first person I told (while drinking over-prized cider - why is it so hard to get a decent cider outside the uk?) that I was questioning my orientation, gave me the classic "maybe you just need to have sex with more people to figure this out, your only experiences are with a person who just broke your heart" line which... wasn't really what I wanted to hear but fine. Maybe they were right. So I went back on the dating apps, found a guy who was non-threatening enough, went on a couple of dates with him --- aaaaaaand came out as ace to him after way too much absinth. He took it in stride but he did friendzone me - to my relieve, to be honest - soon after.

At that point I was pretty certain that I was on the ace-spec but it took another evening filled with bad alcohol choices to actually come out to my main squad. It was a mate's birthday, I had accidently gotten absolutely hammered and ended up with my head in a friend's lab, sobbing, lamenting my recent heart-break and ending my rant with "at least this shitshow has helped me figure out that I'm probably ace. Have I mentioned that I'm probs ace yet?" And the friend on whose lap I was hanging out basically went "After everything you said tonight... d'uh" - and that was that. They do send me ace memes now and then now, which is kinda cool.

I'm probably not going to tell my family about it - it's really non of their bussiness in my opinion, they already know I'm queer, that gotta be enough.

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There are ace memes? :ph34r:

 

I'm almost afraid to Google that...

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Janus the Fox
44 minutes ago, will123 said:

There are ace memes? :ph34r:

 

I'm almost afraid to Google that...

No need to google, most of them are here :P

 

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47 minutes ago, will123 said:

There are ace memes? :ph34r:

 

I'm almost afraid to Google that...

HOW WERE YOU NOT AWARE OF THE MEME THREAD?!?!

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28 minutes ago, Snao Cone (me) said:

HOW WERE YOU NOT AWARE OF THE MEME THREAD?!?!

Too busy looking at Dos Equos and Karen and cat memes...

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ace bookdragon
19 hours ago, will123 said:

There are ace memes? :ph34r:

 

I'm almost afraid to Google that...

They're mostly about cake from what I've seen

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