A-Panda Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 On 4/13/2020 at 5:08 PM, N8LV3y said: I get confused and then I question their standards. This also is me - I'm just puzzled and kind of suspicious of them. I've never called anyone/thing sexy in anything but an ironic way. If I want to compliment someone on their looks, I use other words. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 Depends who it is. Normally indifferent, sometimes flattered, on a few occasions creeped out. I don't call people sexy. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 I replied to question 1 as "I hate it", because I definitely would hate to be sexy - I don't want to, I want to look good without being sexually attractive. However: I'm not actually called sexy by anyone. I have a hard time recalling if there has been even a single instance of someone calling me that. (And since I would be very uncomfortable with that - it's likely that there wasn't. The number of sexual proposals I have received is small, but above zero. I know a guy who would try to seduce almost every woman he meets and also attaches a spiritual significance to that, my asexuality was a bit of a spur for him - but even he never called me sexy.) Which surely has a lot to do with me just avoiding any sexual situations, with me taking care not to look sexy... but it also confirms that I'm really not what is considered conventionally attractive. I have bad allergy, already quite deep wrinkles (probably partially because of having extremely dry skin), a just not very feminine face - rectangular, with deep-set eyes and a big nose. And, to make it clear - apart from my allergy, I like these features. I wouldn't want to look more "girly". Which, sure, protects me from the "You're really cute, what a waste!" type of comments, but also comes at a price - my unattractiveness obviously leaves me vulnerable to the other type of comments: "You couldn't get laid anyway and are just lying to youself!". In my view, beauty and ugliness are deeply intersectional situations for asexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 I feel like if someone was going to call me sexy, I would feel a little put upon, like they then have desires on me or want/expect something, which would make me very uncomfortable. I don't know how sexy people manage it, but I guess their psychology is just different. Link to post Share on other sites
Zectarash Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 ... It would probably make me want to crawl out of my own skin and run away if someone called me that. Just about any other compliment would be better. Link to post Share on other sites
lelisabeth Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 I don't like it, but won't make a big fuss out of it. When guys I'm not even remotely intrested in call me that I'm just like "okay thanks, not like you'll get to do anything about it." I would prefer my partner compliment my personality rather my sex appeal. Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I would be baffled if anyone called me sexy. Link to post Share on other sites
Cat7 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I hate it! It's similar to "attractive", which makes me feel nauseous. I'm scared that I can never have a relationship without being seen that way. Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I don't like it and I don't call anyone that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 It seems objectifying and targeted towards a body of which I'm not fond, so I find it very unpleasant. I use "hot" if I find someone aesthetically attractive, because "sexy" implies sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I use "pretty," "handsome" and "cute." Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 minute ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said: I use "pretty," "handsome" and "cute." I use "pretty" a lot too. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 3 minutes ago, Celyn said: I use "pretty" a lot too. I use it to describe Jared Leto, haha. Edit: And Timothee Chalamet. Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Beat Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 On 4/12/2020 at 4:23 PM, Homer said: Doesn't happen, am potato. As someone from Idaho I can confirm that potatoes are, in fact, very sexy (in a totally nonsexual way) Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Beat Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 It depends on the context. if it's someone catcalling me or someone I don't know commenting on my body, I find it disgusting and dehumanizing. If it's a close friend being funny I'll totally accept it. My friends in my section call each other 'saxy' all the time Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 Oh, I also say "good-looking." Link to post Share on other sites
Rontz Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 (I answered “Other” and “It depends” on the poll) If the complimenter has good, innocent intentions for calling me “sexy”, with true appreciation and not as a catcall or a way to degrade/objectifying me, I’ll accept passionately. That’s a way for a lot of people to say to one another they are beautiful. For the subject of me calling other people “sexy”: I know what is considered to be sexy in our culture, and so I will refer to a person as “sexy” if they answer to this description. Link to post Share on other sites
Artila Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 My kind-of-ex girlfriend told me that she had a big sexual attraction going on towards me and I was like.... WAIT SO I CAN ACTUALLY WAKE THAT SPARK WITHIN ALLOSEXUALS??? DOES THAT MEAN I AM SOMEWHAT PRETTY? Felt flattered XD However if a random person would say that to me out of the blue I'd be like ew go away shoo shoo. Link to post Share on other sites
fooledbysecrecy Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 i don't like the word itself bc it confuses the heck out of me, what does it mean?? sexy as in shaggable? it's certainly something more than just 'good looking' or something. so yeah i wouldn't like it if someone called me that. and no i don't call people that either. Link to post Share on other sites
Estela Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 I never thought about why I never called anyone sexy, but it makes so much sense now. I don't understand the term therefore I simply don't used. Link to post Share on other sites
Stéphane Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 I am a bit confused, since I am still not sure what it actually means. But it does not really bother me. Sometimes I ask that person "is that a compliment?" (genuine question) and if they say it is, I am flattered I never use the word for people. But when I am feeling especially ironic (which is, to be honest, quite often), you can hear me refering to topics of research as "sexy" Link to post Share on other sites
nonsquirrel Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 I never use it to describe people because I don't find that it means anything to me. Occasionally I use it to describe dance or dance-like movement that I recognize as being rather sexual in manner. As for having it applied to myself, I would hate to be simplified to only that adjective by a stranger, but could probably accept it as a well-meant compliment from someone who actually knows me Link to post Share on other sites
Davida Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 I spent most of my life struggling to pass as "normal" regarding gender and sexual expectations. I studied what others perceived as sexy, and imitated that (and was sometimes abusively coerced into "sexy" behaviors). It felt like being in drag unwittingly; I was extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Since I've accepted myself as ace and gender fluid, I've been able to let go of those ingenuine behaviors for the most part. So, since I've stopped "acting" sexy, it surprises and confuses me when anyone calls me sexy because I thought sexy was a mask that one puts on or not. I thought I had a good understanding of what allosexuals regard as sexy, but apparently there's more to it than I'm able to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
NerdAlert93 Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 My insecurities are going to show. I never get called any aesthetic complements other than "cute" and occasionally "adorable," and it gets to me some times. "Sexy" scares me because for some reason, but I wouldn't mind being called "beautiful" or "hot" or any other adjective in that vein that doesn't apply to baby animals. I am already baby-faced, and I feel like no one takes me seriously as an adult. I'm sorry for the whinging. It just gets under my skin some days and I just wanted it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelwyne Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 I don't like being called sexy (but A-sexy is ok), but I don't object to referring to another as such if it would be received as a compliment. Link to post Share on other sites
Mackenzie Malik Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 I don't particularly like being called sexy because I don't get what it means, well I know the definition but I don't get how a person can be "sexy" so it confuses me Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 1. I would feel really weird 😂 2. It's funny (and weird?) that I call many things or people sexy, but not for their sex-appeal =))), but for things I find interesting at them (like hobbies, jobs, how they think etc). Link to post Share on other sites
oldgeeza Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 I think I'd get them a new set of glasses 👓😅 if someone called me sexy, I'm overweight, ugly, look way older than I am, there's nothing that could be sexy about me, I wouldn't be offended, shocked but not offended, I can honestly say, I've never been called sexy in my life I find certain people appealing for reasons such as personality, maybe looks, but sexy? Even at my age, I don't think I would know what sexy is Link to post Share on other sites
Abigail Rose Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 I would feel fear and general concern for my safety if I did not know them. Anyone that knows me would already know better. Link to post Share on other sites
Raindrops Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 Yuck yuck no no no. I'd be terrified. 😳 I'd rather be called a rotten tomato. Link to post Share on other sites
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