Media interest

[Face]

I'm getting a lot of requests from journalists all of a sudden asking for comments about me and asexuality. As well as the interest in the recent London meetup I've had messages from a documentary film maker and the Times newspaper.

Is anyone else getting this much interest? I don't really want to 'come out' as myself and am not sure I well represent most Avenites as I do have some desire to be sexual whereas nearly everyone else seems to be happy the way they are and I don't want to give the impression that a lot of asexual people are frustrated and walk into the hands of bigots that think everyone who isn't normal (whether they're asexual, overweight, or whatever) secretly wants to be like them. :evil:

Has anyone else replied and how have you described the community?

[Brodertun]

as long as they are uk ones, you can send them to me.

I just don't want to respond to american/canadian media.

[maco]

I was IMed by a Montel Williams show person after I posted an essay I did (for fun) about asexuality that I had posted on my blog. Like you, not out enough to do it.

[Mistah J]

http://www.spitting-image.net/archives/002190.html. Why doesn't anybody understand the asexuals? We're much better (incomparably) than the gays!



2014 Mod Edit: The above link doesn't work anymore, but the content can be found here. For future reference:

October 21, 2004

Glad To Be Asexual

In a world where lust can be bought in a pill and skin is the marketing tool du jour, being David Jay cannot be easy. At the age of 22 he has never had sex. He has never experienced sexual attraction towards another person and does not believe it will ever happen.
There are many others who have similar stories to tell. They talk about growing up not being able to understand why everyone else seemed so interested in dating, kissing and touching; in experiencing the ritual of mating.
Until recently these people felt isolated, never suspecting others felt the same. But now, thanks in great part to an online forum founded by Jay, they are finding each other and identifying themselves with a common label. They call themselves asexual, and are coming out to parents and loved ones, declaring their asexuality to be as valid an orientation as being straight or gay

There are asexuals, for example, who have never felt the need to get close to other people, not even in a non-sexual way, and describe themselves as loners. But others, like Jay, want to connect with males or females - some people would define it as an orientation - only it seems to be purely emotional.
Their desire is to find a “mate” with whom they can share interests and spend time with but not have any form of sexual relationship with. (Jay once worried he could never feel love, but now knows he can. Indeed, unencumbered by sexual feelings, he believes his is a more powerful, unconditional form of love.) In addition, some asexuals are capable of experiencing bodily arousal. They get erections and some masturbate, although even while experiencing the physical cues of arousal there never is an impulse to do anything sexual with another person. A number of asexuals told me that watching porn or looking at erotic pictures were awkward experiences that they couldn’t relate to.
article/ Link to AVEN
[Asexual Visibility and Education Network]

~I was initially bothered by David being from America's Bible-belt, but this line: "(t)he amazing degree of variation in the experiences of asexual people suggests that the underlying causes of their lack of sexual attraction are very different"... made me a believer. As long as there's straight and gay asexuals so the rest of us 'sexuals' can know who to hang-out with.
I feel sexier already. I might not be getting any, but at least I know what I'm missing. Not like these losers.
Think of the sex jokes that'll be written.

Posted by Cieciel at October 21, 2004 09:40 AM

[ghosts]

How are we better than gays? There's some gay asexuals on here anyway.

[Mistah J]

PURE LOVE

[Charlieee]

... I think we're all great in different ways! :D

*huge goofy smile*

[BunnyK.]

I took a look through that Pure Love site....there were some very misleading statistics on birth control etc. I find it hard to trust a site that has such an obvious agenda - they want to present things in the worst possible light, in order to scare people away from having sex.

I also don't necessarily appreciate the suggestion that my love is less "pure" or worthwhile because sex is included with it.

However, the site is obviously not targeted toward me so my input has very little value. :D

[Mistah J]

I took a look through that Pure Love site....there were some very misleading statistics on birth control etc. I find it hard to trust a site that has such an obvious agenda - they want to present things in the worst possible light, in order to scare people away from having sex.

I also don't necessarily appreciate the suggestion that my love is less "pure" or worthwhile because sex is included with it.

Are you sure you're one of us (asexual nation)?

However, the site is obviously not targeted toward me so my input has very little value. :D

Hey! Everyone matters! :)

[BunnyK.]

Are you sure you're one of us (asexual nation)?

I'm fairly sure I'm not.... I'm a sexual that hangs around here for the interesting discussion.

[Mistah J]

Are you sure you're one of us (asexual nation)?

I'm fairly sure I'm not.... I'm a sexual that hangs around here for the interesting discussion.

Well... that's not very nice, now - is it?

Here is some research on Wikipedia about asexuality. It is very interesting (especially the part about religion...): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality... Tell me what you think about it...

[Live R Perfect]

Are you sure you're one of us (asexual nation)?

I'm fairly sure I'm not.... I'm a sexual that hangs around here for the interesting discussion.

Well... that's not very nice, now - is it?

Why is that not nice, Mistah J?

[ghosts]

BunnyK. is very welcome here, and she provides some valuable input to our discussions. The same goes for our other sexual members. I think it's awesome that there are supportive people out there who care about what we're talking about. Lest we forget, remember the big bold text on the front page:

Sexual and questioning people are more than welcome to register and post!

[Mistah J]

BunnyK. is very welcome here, and she provides some valuable input to our discussions. The same goes for our other sexual members. I think it's awesome that there are supportive people out there who care about what we're talking about. Lest we forget, remember the big bold text on the front page:

Sexual and questioning people are more than welcome to register and post!

Well... that may be, but it still doesn't make it "nice"... Maybe you (the adminis) agree, but I don't... and I wasn't making a fuss... I was only expressing my oppinion about it... If someone gives a damn about my oppinion, so be it... If nobody does, then it's just as fine... I don't see what's the problem... De gustibus non disputandum...

[Mithril]

What? Your post just confused me... oh and it's spelled "opinion"

[Mistah J]

oh and it's spelled "opinion"

Oh! Goodness me! How many times do I have to tell you that my English is not very good, that I'm from Romania and that I'm still studying your language...?! How many Romanian words do you know, wise-guy?! :)

[ghosts]

Mistah J, you are free to form your own opinion, and I am free to disagree. But the policy here is very clear in that we welcome people of different sexual orientations here. I do agree with this policy, as do many other people. I'm sure there are others like yourself who disagree, but unless AVENguy feels the need to exclude other people, the policy will remain the same... Either way, I don't think it's good to tell people that they're not welcome here, as I've seen others do in the past.

[deladangerous]

Either way, I don't think it's good to tell people that they're not welcome here, as I've seen others do in the past.

Might even say it's not "nice" to do that.

Or that being an asexual supremacist and explicitly saying that those of other orientations are inferior, and telling people they are or aren't asexual, are also not "nice".

I think BunnyK's been a lot "nice"r than you by default, Mistah J.

[Mithril]

oh and it's spelled "opinion"

Oh! Goodness me! How many times do I have to tell you that my English is not very good, that I'm from Romania and that I'm still studying your language...?! How many Romanian words do you know, wise-guy?! :)

I didn't mean it in a mean way. Words can't always convey meaning that well. Just a friendly remark... if you know your English isn't that good, wouldn't you want to improve it???

You're right, I don't know Romanian words but I am fluent in French and currently learning German.

I'm sorry if I offended you.

[Goonie]

Why doesn't anybody understand the asexuals? We're much better (incomparably) than the gays!

Misconception mostly...even by our own members.

Like ghosts said we allow all types on our board. It is a diverse group. Hell if I weren't A I would hang out here because of the intellectual discussions...

As far as your second statement...are you saying that I am much better than one of my best friends?

Most people of the world are too focused with what they already know from science and from perception to be able to see the benefits of studying the unknown and metaphysical. It's sad that people are blinded to the fact that more lies outside if the boundries of what we see and experience through our normal senses, but, alas, it was the way that the creator designed the universe. It is inevitable that we, people who search for the meaning under the meaning, will lead a diachotomy of a life; a dualism which drives us to insanity at some points.

Hopefully he doesn't kill me for posting that -- but umm how does what comes out of my mouth or brain make me better than him just because he is sexually attracted to men and I am not sexually attracted to anyone?

[Mistah J]

oh and it's spelled "opinion"

Oh! Goodness me! How many times do I have to tell you that my English is not very good, that I'm from Romania and that I'm still studying your language...?! How many Romanian words do you know, wise-guy?! :)

I didn't mean it in a mean way. Words can't always convey meaning that well. Just a friendly remark... if you know your English isn't that good, wouldn't you want to improve it???

You're right, I don't know Romanian words but I am fluent in French and currently learning German.

I'm sorry if I offended you.

I'm doing just that, studying English... In fact, I can speak it quite well. It's the spelling I'm not very good at...

Could one start a Romanian asexuality forum?

[Mistah J]

Why doesn't anybody understand the asexuals? We're much better (incomparably) than the gays!

Misconception mostly...even by our own members.

Like ghosts said we allow all types on our board. It is a diverse group. Hell if I weren't A I would hang out here because of the intellectual discussions...

As far as your second statement...are you saying that I am much better than one of my best friends?

Most people of the world are too focused with what they already know from science and from perception to be able to see the benefits of studying the unknown and metaphysical. It's sad that people are blinded to the fact that more lies outside if the boundries of what we see and experience through our normal senses, but, alas, it was the way that the creator designed the universe. It is inevitable that we, people who search for the meaning under the meaning, will lead a diachotomy of a life; a dualism which drives us to insanity at some points.

Hopefully he doesn't kill me for posting that -- but umm how does what comes out of my mouth or brain make me better than him just because he is sexually attracted to men and I am not sexually attracted to anyone?

I don't want to start a fight here, so... I'll resume it in the following:

Asexuals are pure (even if they had sex a few times in their lives; not having sex for a long time makes you religiously pure). Gay people are not! I care a lot about purity. That's it! Hope you understood... :idea:

[fern]

I don't want to start a fight here, so... I'll resume it in the following:

Asexuals are pure (even if they had sex a few times in their lives; not having sex for a long time makes you religiously pure). Gay people are not! I care a lot about purity. That's it! Hope you understood... :idea:

*not wanting to start a fight either, but unable to ignore this one*

Gay people may not be religiously pure in your opinion, but the sentence stands out in this post as a stated fact. And it's a little disturbing. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but I'm suggesting that sometimes it's important to realize how words may impact those around you, and take some care.

[Goonie]

I don't want to start a fight here, so... I'll resume it in the following:

Asexuals are pure (even if they had sex a few times in their lives; not having sex for a long time makes you religiously pure). Gay people are not! I care a lot about purity. That's it! Hope you understood... :idea:

where does active heterosexuals stand then?

[ghosts]

I'm assuming that they would be impure as well... Same with asexuals who are in active sexual relationships.

(No, I don't agree with this)

[Mistah J]

I'm assuming that they would be impure as well... Same with asexuals who are in active sexual relationships.

(No, I don't agree with this)

Ghosts

I like being pure and you don't...

What's the problem?

I don't see one...

[ghosts]

I'm just saying that I don't agree with your definition of "pure". By someone else's definition, I could be "pure" and you could be "impure". I just don't want to judge people based on their sexuality. Doesn't seem nice to me. :)

[Mistah J]

Well... Perhaps the person who would say I'm not pure is not normal (as in insane)... Here's the dictionary's definition of pure... I still don't see the problem, though... :)

[ghosts]

I wasn't saying there is a problem. I was saying I disagree with you.

Anyway, there are quite a few definitions of "pure", aren't there? Quite a few of them have nothing to do with sex.

[Mistah J]

I wasn't saying there is a problem.

So there's no problem! Ok... Let's all be friends! Hug...? :)