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"imaginary" relationships


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52894786367

Hello! I'm 18 years old and for the past year or so, I have been involved in an "imaginary" romantic/sexual relationship (imaginary is in brackets because I truly feel in love with this person).

Prior to this relationship, I had never felt arousal. My relationship with this person is fueled by a deep emotional connection and a true understanding of eachother. I kiss and cuddle him very often and it makes me very happy! Sometimes I let him play with my vagina and that makes me very happy as well. Even though this is all "imaginary", it still satisfies me and feels like a real relationship.

Can anyone else relate?

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I don't really understand how this is an "imaginary" relationship if you're in love with him and do things together, especially intimate things which you've mentioned. Unless it's a fictional character (or other things that would delegitimize the relationship in the view of others), it seems like a real relationship to me. 

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I'm so confused whether you're talking about someone who you know in real life and actually interact with in real life or if you're talking about someone who you don't know in real life and are just fantasizing about...

 

I suppose I am in an "imaginary relationship" with someone, in a way... I fantasize about him and we "do things together", of course we don't really do those things cause it's all happening in my head... my fantasy world right now is a little empty and it's a bit blurry and a lot of things are very unclear for now cause my "boyfriend" changed and I haven't really had feelings for this new one for that long yet so I haven't had time to create a proper "relationship" yet. I need some more time to build my fantasy world and our relationship. My fantasy world is what I prefer over reality and I kinda wish that I could just actually live in that world... I know that my fantasies aren't real but they do feel real. I don't think that they feel real enough though, I honestly just wish that they were actually real cause then I wouldn't have to pretend. And my crush is perfect cause he's basically the perfect embodiment of the man of my fantasies. He's everything. He has everything. He could be anything I am into. He definitely has sparked my creativity.

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Lord Jade Cross
23 minutes ago, Salmiakki said:

I'm so confused whether you're talking about someone who you know in real life and actually interact with in real life or if you're talking about someone who you don't know in real life and are just fantasizing about...

 

I suppose I am in an "imaginary relationship" with someone, in a way... I fantasize about him and we "do things together", of course we don't really do those things cause it's all happening in my head... my fantasy world right now is a little empty and it's a bit blurry and a lot of things are very unclear for now cause my "boyfriend" changed and I haven't really had feelings for this new one for that long yet so I haven't had time to create a proper "relationship" yet. I need some more time to build my fantasy world and our relationship. My fantasy world is what I prefer over reality and I kinda wish that I could just actually live in that world... I know that my fantasies aren't real but they do feel real. I don't think that they feel real enough though, I honestly just wish that they were actually real cause then I wouldn't have to pretend. And my crush is perfect cause he's basically the perfect embodiment of the man of my fantasies. He's everything. He has everything. He could be anything I am into. He definitely has sparked my creativity.

I guess you could try lucid dreaming?

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nutterwithasolderingiron

ok. i can't really tell if this person is fictional or a real person. so i'm going to offer 2 bits of advice. one for if they're real and one for if they're fictional. 

 

if fictional: there is nothing wrong with having romantic or even sexual feelings towards fictional characters. hell, if there was, fanfics and fanart wouldn't exist. i think the main reason a lot of people find themselves sexually/romantically attracted to fictional characters is based on how well we can relate/project onto them. but here is the thing, as much as i am known to delve into the world of fanfics and fanart of some of my favorite characters, i know not to hold real people to those standards. fictional characters often are flawed in a very..... broad way. real people can be a lot more complex. 

 

if real: i really don't want to be the one who says this but you might want to look into getting some professional help before it gets too out of hand..... and i'm saying this as the guy who likes the yandere character trope. but i understand it's a character trope that should only be explored in the realms of fiction. i've actually been the object of affection for a one sided romance. it's not something i'd wish on anyone. in my case, it kinda derailed my life for a short period. i was afraid to go to school, i was afraid to go online, i was afraid to answer my phone, i kept my curtains closed and tried avoiding leaving the house. even if you are at a point where you're not obviously acting on it. you can still make things uncomfortable by doing so. granted, i dont know the situation but if they are a real person, i want you to try finding a psychiatrist before it gets to the point where it gets out of hand. 

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2 hours ago, SithEmpress said:

I don't really understand how this is an "imaginary" relationship if you're in love with him and do things together, especially intimate things which you've mentioned. Unless it's a fictional character (or other things that would delegitimize the relationship in the view of others), it seems like a real relationship to me. 

I think OP meant that these things happen in her head, instead of with the actual person? :o

 

@atruestorii - do you mean this is a real person, but that you fantasize about having intimate acts and cuddling etc with him instead of doing those things for real?

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1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

I guess you could try lucid dreaming?

That would be so cool... I have read that lucid dreaming requires a lot of practice though and I don't know if I have the energy and concentration to go through all that work.

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44 minutes ago, sagausten said:

I guess you are a maladaptive daydreamer! Welcome to the club!

I don't think we should normalize maladaptive daydreaming like that. Maladaptive daydreaming is not healthy.

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Lord Jade Cross
7 minutes ago, Salmiakki said:

That would be so cool... I have read that lucid dreaming requires a lot of practice though and I don't know if I have the energy and concentration to go through all that work.

Usually it should.take just 10 - 15 minutes to try and trigger a lucid dream. The harder part is maintaining it, or so I've heard. I would try it myself but the nightmares my head comes up with would probably not be good to intensify through lucid dreams 😅

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Guest sagausten
2 hours ago, Ca$hrina said:

Aren't so many real relationships "imaginary" to some degree anyway?

 

Rene-Magritte-The-Lovers.-Image-via-rene

I really like Magritte's work! I guess idealizing other people is part of a relationship and that's why most of time we get so frustrated with other people.

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Guest sagausten
7 minutes ago, Salmiakki said:

I don't think we should normalize maladaptive daydreaming like that. Maladaptive daydreaming is not healthy.

 I never said it was OK and healthy. I said that by reading the post the person is probably a maladaptive dreamer, I've never said it was a good thing.

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Lord Jade Cross
1 minute ago, sagausten said:

I really like Magritte's work! I guess idealizing other people is part of a relationship and that's why most of time we get so frustrated with other people.

Some might say it's not so much idealizing as it is confusing what we interpreted as love earlier on in life. Or so goes the theory.

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5 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Usually it should.take just 10 - 15 minutes to try and trigger a lucid dream. The harder part is maintaining it, or so I've heard. I would try it myself but the nightmares my head comes up with would probably not be good to intensify through lucid dreams 😅

Maybe I should try it then... I'm gonna have to learn more about it first though cause I have no idea how it works

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4 minutes ago, sagausten said:

 I never said it was OK and healthy. I said that by reading the post the person is probably a maladaptive dreamer, I've never said it was a good thing.

Okay, well I just thought that you talked about the topic a little too lightly. It gave me the impression that you don't take it that seriously. Your comment felt kind of dismissive and indifferent to me. But if you do take it seriously and understand that it's not healthy then good.

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Perfectly normal if you're someone who lacks interest in real romantic relationships. I greatly prefer my fantasies to any sort of real relationship because real people fucking suck and I don't want to have to live with another human after being subjected to life with 3 of them. You do you however the hell you want to.

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52894786367

I have read the description for maladaptive daydreaming and I think it links in with my autism. Also, the person I have these fantasies with is a famous person that I love very much. 

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Strange But Not a Stranger

I can relate. This sounds a lot like the thing I have. ☺️

 

I don't desire real life romantic/sexual relationships. My operating system (lol) seems to miss that chipset. 👽 Instead it has a substitute chipset that makes me go about these things in a different way, which involves this "imaginary relationship" thing with a celebrity. It works for me, so it's fine. I've accepted that this is how it is, and I get a lot out of it. More than I ever got out of the one real life relationship I've been in.

It does make me feel like an alien sometimes though, but a lot of things do that anyway. 😂 So yeah...

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Janus the Fox

I had a small number of 'relationships' that where fantasy tulpamancy several years back, I'll only share that it was also part of a yiff fetish and partly due to manic delusion.  These relationships where important in mental health healing, closely monitored by a psychiatric professional.

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I can relate since "imaginary" friends were my only source of closure for years. Then I went to a psychologist and said "Hey I got these problems also I communicate with imaginary people" and she said "You have psychosis" and 6 months later I got a schizophrenia diagnosis and on medication so my brain got quiet

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