just a lil something I worry about. all the time

[cat mama]

hey y'all! for months now I've had this nagging thought that really concerns me every now and again so I thought I'd just... say something about it. and where better than here, amiright?

so I'm definitely not aromantic, I dated someone for three years and for most of the relationship sex wasn't a topic of discussion (we were both super insecure and bad at talking about that kind of stuff. I know now my asexuality is why I was bad at it, not sure about him but WHATEVER off topic) and while it was just about being close with someone & romance & cuddling and all that, it was awesome! being in love was a lot of fun sometimes. that leads to what I worry about, which is potential relationships in the future. like, even if I did start dating someone chances are it would end pretty fast because my s/o would not be getting uuuuh sexually satisfied. so I guess I'm worried about just drifting between quick relationships ending with me awkwardly telling people that I don't want to take things to the natural next step. OR I if I tell someone I like off the bat that I'm ace, any chance of a kind of relationship I'm looking for totally gets crushed. and even if I DO find someone who's asexual, I'm just as worried about having the only thing in common between us being that we're asexual and that doesn't work out either. 

I mean, okay, the REAL problem is that our society has constructed the idea that to be really close with someone you have to be dating and you can't just have a super strong platonic relationship without it being weird to live together/cuddle/kiss, haha?/etc. which is too bad because even if I know that, it might be tough to find someone else who feels the same way. and uh oh what if they catch feelings? what if I catch feelings? then it's just awkward.

basically I have a lot on my mind and this is just one big thought dump. feel free to totally ignore all of this! thanks fellas

[Shizuo Mei]

Hi !

I totally share your concerns, I always have a hard time naviguating human interactions but dating while being asexual really takes the cake ! (I'm bad at puns)

Though that's exactly why I try to take one problem at a time.. Worry about the people I already interact with (even if there's not a lot it's still so much work)

Why are you worrying so much over it ? Is it because you want to find a new relationship already ?

It's a shame PQRs are not more widely spread ! Though sometimes 'best friends' are basically PQRs, like, you can be flatmates and even cuddle a little without it seeming too weird (well from my experience it only applies if you're both supposed straight girls but I'm hoping it can work in other settings..).