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So I came out to my mom.


.stellar.creep.

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.stellar.creep.

I came out to my mom as asexual. Well I didn't really want to come out to her but my sister told my mom without thinking. My sister speaks all the time without thinking. At this point I just think she doesn't think.  Anyways I just had to end up telling my mom to make her understand. And, i repeat, all she said to me was, "That's okay you don't need to be having sex anyways." 

 

..... That's all she said to me. Now I want to talk about it but I don't know what to do. I kind of wanted to cry but didn't.. I mean I'm 16 and never have been with anyone. And my bff has been with 3 people and shes a year younger than me. And I don't know what that has to do with anything but I just don't want to be with anyone in pretty much any way.  It almost feels like something is wrong with me because everyone is dating and well I don't want to. I mean someone was flirting with me and I didn't even notice. I felt really dumb after my friend said he was totally flirting with me. Well that guy is now her bf so I mean, I live in a small town.  All of this was just me ranting because I needed to. I felt like I needed to get it out. Thanks for listening to my dumb mouth. 

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.stellar.creep.

I feel like a dumb little 16 year old kid ranting about nothing important. 

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Janus the Fox

Moved to Asexual Musings and Rantings

 

Janus DarkFox, Questions about Asexuality, Asexual Musings and Rantings & Open Mic Moderator

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Lord Jade Cross

Chill

 

I know it can be frustrating as hell (believe me, many of us have been or are still there) to be the odd one out and how it seems that everyone else has some super secret knowledge that we, by some fault, do not possess but trust me when I say this: it's ok.

 

There isn't any need to feel like you have to compete againts your friends over who has done what and with how many. I have been there, had people look at me in disbelief because some cute girl was flirting and my head was somewhere over the rainbow because I didn't pay attention to her. Likewise have had people get all out pissed at me for not showing interest in them. And of course parents pushing for marriage and kids which isn't going to happen.

 

It's tough, I know but you're a kid yourself. No need to think you have all this figured out with the snap of a finger. This takes time, and if it turns out that you're ace/around then good for you. And if it turns later along the way you develop the feelings, then also good for you. Just do what you feel is right. Not wanting sex or relationship? I don't see how that's anyone else's business.

 

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AceMissBehaving

It’s better to get it out than keep it bottled up.

 

It can be hard being asexual, and when you’re 16 the added pressure from people checking off different experiences that are seen as a road to adulthood can make it even harder. The thing that comes later is realizing that everything is optional, and doing or not doing something doesn’t make you more or less of a person, or an adult.

 

Knowing who you are, and what your about is a huge accomplishment, people can go their entire lives without knowing themselves like that at all. So while other people maybe dating etc, you’re still growing and experiencing in your own way, honoring your own wants and desires, and that’s huge. 

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everywhere and nowhere

Don't treat yourself so harshly. You're not dumb. You're not in any way obligated to consider yourself dumb, you can feel proud of yourself just for undertaking everyone's great task of being oneself. There's nothing wrong with you. Stay true to yourself and believe in yourself.

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.stellar.creep.

Thank you all. That makes me feel better. I know I can't find out who I am in a day. Well I mean I just realize I can't. I never rant about who I am in anything before. I stay away from online chats and all that. I have really bad social anxiety. So to chill is not in my vocab. But again thank you for listening to that. And I didn't think people would talk back.   I'm just a kid. I have a lot of life ahead of me to find who I am. I know I should calm down and not be harsh. I am a human and that's all I can be and I'm happy with that.

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MakeupJunkie4

I understand where you're coming from. When I was 16, I WISH I'd known what asexuality was! Instead, I figured I'd "eventually - someday - not anytime soon" get married. I knew early on (in my preteens) that I DID NOT want kids, but I figured I'd get married because that was what you were "supposed" to do and of course, I wanted to love and be loved. If only I'd known what a QPR was! Or that it's normal for some aces to value friendship above sexual/romantic relationships...I always felt like I was the oddball for prioritizing friendships, while my friends prioritized their dating relationships.

 

TBH it can be very lonely for a young ace when everyone else has a bf/gf/whatever and you DON'T (and secretly don't really want one). I would have dated a few of my friends back then if it meant keeping them close to me - but they always found other people more attractive and ended up dating them. They never saw me as "dating material". In retrospect, I think they may have sensed "something off" about me and thus didn't find me interesting in that way. I was always the 5th wheel friend type. SPOILER ALERT: I'm now in the 30s, as are they. I'm very happy with who I am now (the teen insecurity faded in my mid 20s). I wouldn't change a thing about my choices regarding relationships! My old friends from the high school days are (generally speaking) married with kids, somewhat unhappy and kinda "washed out". Being much more interested in other things (besides sex and romance) has a definite upside! ;) I wish I had some advice, but all I can offer is my experience and my encouragement to hang in there. You're valid. You belong. You're important!  :) Just keep being yourself, OK?

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