Kristan Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Hello, I finally got the courage to try and connect with other asexual people and learn more about the asexual community. My history has been straight, then lesbian/queer, now grey-ace (I guess, I’m not really sure since I’m new). But I haven’t had the desire to have sex with anyone in 3 years and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. Since 1st grade I’ve had very intense emotionally romantic relationships/attachments with one female friend at a time, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her as each other’s main person. In college I very frustratedly asked my best friend why best friends couldn’t live together forever and just have the person you had sex with as a visitor and she said, “That’s just not how it works” which broke my heart. I’ve been able to enjoy receiving sex in the past but have never really enjoyed giving it. Currently it repulses me to even think about. I have since realized sex is more of an addiction to me, and once weened off I don’t need it at all. And even when I have had sexual relationships they seemed performative and I could never fully be myself. It was more wanting to be wanted (physically) which I have since flipped 180 and only want to be desired for who I am inside. My ideal situation is to have a monogamous asexual romantic relationship with someone (preferably female) where we are the most important person in each other’s lives and our deep love can be expressed and communicated in words and expressions and gestures. I had thought this was impossible and that no one else would want this but a friend of mine convinced me that it might be possible if I try. So here I am. If anything even to just know there are other people out there like me would make me feel extremely better and less hopeless. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexTheGrey Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 Welcome! Aww that sounds like a very wholesome dream, I’m sure you’ll find another romantic ace who feels the same. Might I recommend trying out sites like Acebook, or OKCupid’s asexual option? Link to post Share on other sites
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