Implicit bias* toward fellow aces?

[Guest]

If I am told about someone I don't know personally, I tend to be more fond of them if they are ace. Also, empathy is not a natural skill of mine (probably due to autism), but I seem to do a better job empathizing if a fellow ace is involved. For example, one of my friends (who is a summer camp counselor) was telling me about another camp counselor at her camp who was having a rough day, especially because they had been trampled by horses. If I heard nothing else about this person, I would be sorry for them, but I would have no additional responses. Since I knew beforehand that they're ace, I kind of teared (tore?) up, even though the horse-trampling incident had nothing to do with the fact that they're ace.

 

I should also add that I had a significant tearing-up response to a certain AVEN post that was written by an ace who went to a gynecological appointment (the purpose of which was heavily biased toward sexually active people) and was hurt, physically as well as mentally. Even thinking about that story makes the aqueous sodium chloride threaten to leak from my tear ducts, mostly because it is about how society's ignorance of asexuality leads to aces being mistreated by medical professionals who are trying to make us undergo procedures that are meant for allos.

 

*Note: "Implicit bias" does not mean that I think aces are superior to allos. It's just something I can't control that I wanted to document here.

 

 

 

 

[SithLord]

I think it's common to relate more to those who have something in common with us. It can be gender, hair color, taste in music, age, hometown, orientation, anything. Like I tend to empathize more with girls than boys, with short people more than tall people, asexuals, and other groups I fall under. 

[everywhere and nowhere]

There is another aspect at work here: we know the experience of being asexual. In some cases, such as the horse incident mentioned, the situation has nothing to do with asexuality, but in medical situations, as you mentioned too, it can have a lot.

My own sex aversion and nudity aversion makes me empathise a lot with asexuals in unpleasant situations when their asexuality becomes a problem. I am extremely genycology-repulsed, really, I get lockjaw and tachycardia at the very thought of this medical specialisation. I literally feel that I would die if I underwent this kind of examination. Therefore I spread propaganda that: first, pap smears are (it's a medically established fact) are not necessary for people who have never had any sexual contact, and second - here I am, admittedly and a little unfortunately, part of a small radical "fringe" - that omitting such procedures is always "allowed". It's better to care for one's health than not to, but still - personal autonomy doesn't exist if we are not allowed to keep our bodies private.

In some situations my empathy goes a little further than I would like it... I won't say "rationally", because first, I reject the hegemony of Reason, and second, I reject the idea of an opposition between "the emotional" and "the intellectual". (Yes, a conflict still exists here, but it's precisely a conflict wich shows that, at least for me, "thoughts" are always "emotional" and "feelings" are always "intellectual".) If anything, it's rather a conflict between emotional jerk reactions and something I consider fair on an ideological level. So, on an ideological level, I believe that nobody should ever have sex they don't want, but I also realise that asexuals have to be "allowed" to have sex for reasons of, again, personal autonomy. But the issue of "sexual compromise" is very hard for me exactly because of my own sex aversion - while I have never been in a relationship and, therefore, my sex aversion has never truly become a problem (I mean - there are people who consider it A Problem anyway, but they are unable to convince me that there's anything wrong with me and/or with sex aversion in general) - I simply cannot keep myself from mentally putting myself in their shoes. I know that not all asexuals are sex-averse, but I am and my aversion makes me particularly sensitive to the issue of "sexual compromise".

[Janus the Fox]

I can relate a lot  of AVEN content, Ace, Aro, Gender... most themes here and I’m also on the autism spectrum.  There’s a good reason I’m still here 9 years later