I opened up to my sister

[Lovesspyro91]

*TMI Warning about oral/anal sex*

 

Last Thursday I opened up about a lot of different topics to my sister and sex came up. First of all, shes my step sister and we didn't get to know each other until my mom died. We love and care about each other but now I believe she will always have a hard time understanding me and my views on sex and relationships. I apologize if this post is long, I just really need to rant. 

 

 

Well it all started by me saying there is nothing wrong with people who don't like to give oral sex, its a preference. She basically called  most people selfish for not wanting to give oral sex. Shes someone who loves oral sex, she needs it in her relationship to feel happy. Which is absolutely valid and nothing wrong with that but I don't agree with calling men and women who don't like to give oral selfish, at least most of the time. I'm very sex positive for other people. I don't think sex is bad and do think its a beautiful thing.

 

I told her I don't have to have oral sex done on me and would rather do it to the guy. She let me know that relationships could be a problem for me if I wasn't ok with receiving oral and I told her I don't want any man to do something he don't want to do. Sex is not something I'd leave him for. Now if someone knew that the other person wanted oral sex and still got in a relationship with them, then in my opinion thats selfish. But if a person lays down all his or her cards and tells what they like or don't like sexually rather that person likes to receive and doesn't give or the person likes to give but doesn't like to receive, thats not selfish. Its a person being true to themselves about their preference.

 

She hates anal sex and thinks its repulsive and I tried to give an example to how she is disgusted by anal, others are the same over oral. She replied "apples and oranges." Am I wrong for feeling this way? I personally love oral sex (meaning love to watch it in porn and think about my crush) but don't judge others that don't love it. I also get that sexual people need sex to be happy (as crazy as that might sound to asexuals) its best not to judge sexual people either. My sis also don't like to talk about sex for a long time, so we changed the subject. We are cool and not arguing or anything. I think I should of explained my opinion better which was if you let you're sexual activity preferences be known way before then its not selfish but certainly getting into a relationship knowing you are not into a sex activity and you're partner really is, thats not right and comes off as very selfish. 

 

I've never been in a relationship and she blames that for my reasoning to how I feel. She said my thinking about sex is abnormal and I agree its rare but I'm not going to apologize for being me. I'm done feeling sorry for myself and am done hating myself for being this way. She also thinks I should not be in a open relationship because in her opinion I should be good enough for a man to not be with others. But I told her if he had sex with others, I wouldn't care. So that kinda shocked her.

 

I believe i'm on the ace spectrum. I think I'm a gray ace. I have only had two sexual attractions. Right now I have a crush and yes the thought of me doing oral on him turns me on. If he wanted to do it to me, that turns me on thinking about it but he doesn't have to. I am experiencing sexual attraction to him but it wouldn't bother me if he didn't want sex. I'm content with watching porn and handling my needs myself. One thing my sister did make me feel good about was confirming I have been experiencing sexual attraction to my crush. She gets off giving oral to her man and I've been getting turned on fantasying about giving oral to my crush. 

 

 

 

 

[Trebela Pianissimo]

You're totally fine for thinking that! 

 

But I think your sister should work on understanding that other's preferences can be different than hers. People should like whatever they want! Sex, oral, anal, anything. As long as it doesn't affect her, then she shouldn't get too upset about it, in my opinion.