gettinaway Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 hey! im new here and first of all i want to say that this place seems to be very friendly and supportive and i love it so much! secondly maybe i could tell about what is currently on my mind well im in high school right now and i often hear ace people say that they've discovered they're ace in this period. like everyone was talking about sex and things and they weren't interested in it, they were not like others and so on. but the thing is: almost no one around me is interested in sex and i don't know what is 'not like the others' because everyone is really different. personally i can say that i didn't really feel sexual attraction before and don't feel it now. i know that probably im too young to figure this out and i dont have enough experience and so on but i feel like i really need to know my identity right here and right now so idk what to do... but i dont really want to have sex and i dont understand how sexual people experience attraction. like..? you look at the person and think 'oh well they're hot and i want them'? (sorry if i said sth wrong) one more thing about experience. i am also confused about my romantic orientation because i had crushes (?) on boys and once i liked a girl (she was my best friend though) but it was like... at least 3 years ago and i don't really remember what i've felt then. like when i was into them i was thinking 'yes this is my true first love' but when the feelings were gone i realized there was nothing serious about it :D. so i had some feelings for them and wanted to kiss and so on but i guess i never really wanted to date someone. i think the best situation for me is when im into someone and they don't know that. so im just being around them, feeling all this stuff like butterflies and other emotions but i dont want anyone to like me back. and i see my future self living with my best friend and a cat, without any partner. but maybe it will change? maybe i just dont have enough experience? i have never dated anyone and maybe if i did i would have liked it? but i don't want to date anyone at all so its like a confusion circle haha :D. about the girl i liked: idk what it was. i was thinking that it was just a temporary 'bug' of myself like you know hormones, "spring fever" and things. but i know that if you like 1% girls and 99% boys you are still biromantic. but i dont know, i could imagine myself dating a guy (after reading some sad love stories, they often make me want to live like their characters haha) but never a girl. so im really confused and i know i should wait some more to figure it out but... anyway thanks for reading! Link to post Share on other sites
Evobessive Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 Hi, have some cake! 🍰 I've been questioning my romantic orientation as well as I've never been in a relationship but I've had some fantasies about being in a relationship with both. I would try not to put yourself under too much pressure to put yourself into a box if you're not ready. I know it's frustrating to be confused but try not to be too be panicked about it, I hope this site helps! 😁 Link to post Share on other sites
aces&eights Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 Hi and welcome to aven! When I was in high school I was also in a friendship group of girls who didn’t talk about sex all that much (apart from jokes). We went to an all girls religious school so no boys or out gays so we just never really talked about crushes or who’s hot and not. So for a long time I thought subconsciously that everyone was kinda asexual. Except for the odd comment I thought everyone was kinda like me. All I can say is there’s no rush to figure it out. And you don’t have to compare yourself to your friends to figure out the difference. Have a little look around aven and the internet. But basically once you’re out of high school is the best time fo self exploration and even then you’re not gonna know for sure who and what you are straight away. Just gotta take your time 🎂🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 Welcome! There’s no rush to figure things out right now, it’s one of those things that just takes time to figure out. That being said, having some resources I find usually helps, so I’ll give you this sketchcomic on the types of attraction, and I recommend that you look into the concept of Queer Platonic Relationships (QPRs) https://www.deviantart.com/secondlina/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.