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complicated relationship


sierraa

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I'm currently in a complicated relationship with my boyfriend. We've been dating on and off for around 2 years although i was never able to commit as I have no sexual attraction and low romantic attraction. I just don't feel anything, its kind of depressing. I've broken up with him multiple times because I always felt like there was something missing but he still loves me and i feel terrible. I want to completely break it off but i just feel like a bad person because he is so kind, sweet and patient towards me. I even told him i was asexual and he was accepting and still loved me deeply. Do I wait for this attraction to come or do I break it off? I'm only 16, and many people could probably say I am a late bloomer or something and this attraction will come later.

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-addition- He is also a year older than me and is really keen to have sex as he is still a virgin because we dated from such a younger age. I feel like I'm disappointing him but I just don't want it at all.

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Breaking up with someone you are not attracted to and don't want to be in a relationship with is not bad. Wasting someone's time and emotional energy by staying in a relationship you are not invested in but they are is kind of bad. Breaking up would allow you both to move on with your lives, you to figure out what you want and him to find someone who can reciprocate his feelings and commit to a relationship as much as he does, it is the kind and respectful thing to do.

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He can still be a kind and loving person even when you're not a couple anymore. Besides that, what are you hoping for? Be honest with him, be honest to yourself and do what's necessary.

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Purple Wanderer

Break up. Both Hurt for a bit, then get over it

 

Or

 

Stay together. Be unhappy, let him live in hope then eventually get frustrated 

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AspieAlly613
19 hours ago, sierra. said:

is really keen to have sex

This is the main reason I'd say "break it off".  If he hasn't realized that a long-term exclusive romantic partnership with you would likely mean he'd never have sex, spell it out for him.  Hopefully then you could come to some agreement.

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