Jump to content

One-night stands as an ace person


Katrinaa

Recommended Posts

So hi, idk if this is a bit tmi but I wanted to know what ace ppl think about /have experienced one night stands, especially since knowing they were ace. I (believe) I am hetero-romantic asexual... but often times when I am on a night out, especially after a few drinks, I find myself wanting to hook up with someone, and by hook-up I mean making out mostly. When this has happened I am into it for a bit but halfway through I oftentimes lose interest. Idk if this is just me trying to will myself to be allo or not. Also, if things do move past making out I am okay for a bit until they move past sensual and into sexual- I completely shut it down. 

 

I've also never had a relationship so I've never had a guy interested me in more than a sexual way, which also makes me want to shut things down even more- I think I could be demi, but how do I know if I've never had that connection really happen?

 

Idk if this makes sense, anyone have any thoughts?

Link to post
Share on other sites
gingeroftheday

I also identify as hetero-romantic asexual, and I have been there oh so many times! I have always wanted to want the experience, and I've actually gotten to the whole in-a-bed point of the interaction, and lemme tell ya, theres no faking when a guy does not want to have sex, (talk about TMI). That was actually the night i realized I was asexual. I thought All my other sexual experiences were just bad timing or the wrong setting. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
1 hour ago, gingeroftheday said:

theres no faking when a guy does not want to have sex, 

Yea. My one and only attempt at sex ended this way. I couldn't, despite all I did, force myself to want it and so the would be ONS ended with one person doing the standing so to speak.

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

This might not come from a desire for sex itself, but a desire to do something reckless yet benign. I've been in this situation several times before realizing I was asexual, and sometimes I still think I'd like to do something crazy. Sex itself has never felt worth the effort for me, though. With making out you can at least stop halfway through without having to put your pants back on. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd say it's part of finding out about yourself. Particularly if you feel drawn towards certain people it can take a while to differentiate between romantic, sexual and other forms of attraction. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone. I for sure feel drawn to guys, I have only had crushes that are purely romantic in nature, I believe. However, I usually only hear about aesthetic vs romantic vs sexual attraction and not much on sensual so I get confused. Also, I feel like I get touch-starved often and when these "one-night-stand" situations occur I feel like part of my drive could be that. I'm not sure, life is confusing. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/3/2020 at 3:28 AM, Katrinaa said:

but often times when I am on a night out, especially after a few drinks, I find myself wanting to hook up with someone, and by hook-up I mean making out mostly.

Yup, relate to this!

 

On 4/3/2020 at 5:19 AM, Snao Cone said:

This might not come from a desire for sex itself, but a desire to do something reckless yet benign.

And this!

 

I never saw the appeal of hooking up with a stranger for sex even when I thought I was heterosexual. That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to hook up to make out. Also, I’ve arguably had one night stands but always with women I already knew.

 

23 hours ago, Katrinaa said:

Thanks everyone. I for sure feel drawn to guys, I have only had crushes that are purely romantic in nature, I believe. However, I usually only hear about aesthetic vs romantic vs sexual attraction and not much on sensual so I get confused. Also, I feel like I get touch-starved often and when these "one-night-stand" situations occur I feel like part of my drive could be that. I'm not sure, life is confusing. 

Food for thought: I don’t experience sexual attraction but my other forms of attraction seems to make up for it. So I seem to experience romantic, aesthetic and sensual attraction way stronger than my heterosexual/homosexual friends. Maybe it’s the same for others commenting here 😊

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...