Is this sexual attraction?

[Purple2]

I am another person wondering if this experience is grey-sexual. Maybe I'm just looking for validation, but I would like to know whether you think there is sexual attraction going on or not. Any aces who like having sex, your perspective would be appreciated!

 

I don't really understand what sexual attraction and would like to know if I'm experiencing it. I am often very sensually attracted to people which confuses things (give me all the cuddle!). I also have a very low libido and don't often get horny unless I am regularly engaging in sexual activity (which for some reason increases my sex drive) and I can easily ignore my libido until it goes away.

 

My main question is: could I find the idea of me having sex with others sexy even if I am not attracted to them?

 

The idea of sexual activity with generic people can be a bit arousing. That said, I don't masturbate or watch porn, just never interested me. I have never walked by anyone and suddenly been aroused (but I've heard female sexuality can be responsive so maybe thats why?).

 

I find sexual activities with other people arousing, but I am not sure if this is sexual attraction or just stimulation. I often get bored during sexual stuff, generally would rather cuddle, and half the time kissing grosses me out. But I can appreciate people's bodies in a sexual way. This is, I can see how someone is sexy and if I'm doing stuff with them that can add to the experience. Yet I think that may just be aesthetic attraction. Being near them didn't turn me on but I could get in the mood if we began doing stuff. So maybe I am turned on by the idea of sex and the stimulation and not actually attracted to them.

 

I've been told by a friend that its obvious when you are sexually attracted to someone. I am pretty sure I've been sexually attracted to at leas two people I knew very well. I kinda forget what it was like but I think I just knew. My question is whether I was sexually attracted to all the other other people I've been with. 

 

Side note: I don't have the desire to engage in sexual activity with specific people that I've never done so with before, but can have that desire if we have before. I think this is because I know that they can give me nice physical feelings. Once I've been aroused by looking at someone I was dating whom I'm pretty sure I wasn't attracted to, but I think that was just my body making that association, not my mind.

 

[AceCase47]

It's hard to say, because I am not you. For me, I do masterbate because I do find it pleasurable, but I have never found other people to be sexually attractive. I have only found one thing in my life that is sexually arousing, and it has nothing to do with the people involved and all to do with the action. Kissing doesn't gross me out when seeing it, but doing it myself I don't think I understand it, or rather it isn't super pleasurable in my experience. After my first kiss, I didn't want to do it again, so 😂. I have tried kissing people after that, but I can do without it. I love forehead kisses though, those are the best. Based on your last thing, it sounds like maybe you are Demi or Grey? Just speculation though. 

 

Personally, I don't know if I fully grasp the idea of finding someone or something sexy - I find people cute, and really good looking, or what people would call "hot or sexy" but saying those words, I just don't get the meaning...? 🤔I infer and get it to an extent but because I've never had those feelings, I don't think I can ever really get it. Just like how someone who is an allosexual can never fully get my experience. They haven't lived it.

 

So for your big question: Can you find the idea of having sex with others sexy even if you aren't attracted to them? 

The answer, I would say, is yes. And here's why - just like I enjoy the pleasure of masterbating, you can enjoy the pleasure of sex and find it "sexy". For me thats the difference - finding pleasure in the act, rather than the attachment to who it is, necessarily.

 

Anyway, I hope this helps, feel free to message back if you have follow up questions, I am happy to help. 😊

[Purple2]

Thank you for your replies! @CBC I don’t think necessary want sex per say, but an occasional orgasm is nice. 
 

I did a deep dive on the forum and I think I may be hypersensual, which explains why I like being physically close with someone.  I think I confused this feeling while being aroused due to stimulation as sexual attraction. I am (rarely) attracted to people and thus find the idea of sex arousing, but I realized that this doesn’t mean I’m attracted to anyone who reminds me of sex lol