About "Labels"

[StarrySkies]

So, my parents are supportive of the LGBT community as a whole but they have always hated the idea of "labels," which is why I'm not going to bother coming out to them as asexual. A while ago, when I referred to my friend with they/them pronouns (which this friend prefers), my mom thought it was dumb that we were "labeling ourselves" and she had a very similar reaction to one time I casually referred to myself and my friend as "pan," which is how we both choose to identify.

My question is: Why is this a big deal? We use words or pronouns to describe ourselves, not because we're trying to conform to a standard, which on a side note, don't do that, be yourself not a label. But for those of us who aren't doing that, we're using these "labels" for comfort or ease. It feels good to know that we're not alone in our experiences, and that it's completely normal. It's also easier to use one or two words rather than giving a long winded explanation.

And as for the pronoun thing, I get it can be tricky to use a pronoun that most people don't typically use but is it really that much of a hassle to show you respect them? Misgendering someone on accident is one thing, it's another thing to say that someone's pronouns or identity is stupid or a phase. That's just rude.

[Rhyn Corinn]

I've never understood that either. My best guess would be that the people who complain about us using 'labels' do so because they don't understand how important those identities can be for us. While no one I know has complained to me about using labels, I did get the impression (at least from my mom and one of my brothers, sometimes) that they maybe didn't think me being 'asexual' was a very big deal. But for me, it was a HUGE deal because I'd found a word to describe what I'd been feeling for years and had never been able to explain before. There are probably plenty of other reasons that certain people might not like the idea of labels, but that's the only one I could think of.

 

And yes, it's very annoying. I get if someone else prefers not to label themselves, but they shouldn't try to enforce that on people who find labels useful.

[Memento1]

All words are labels, so you could go really passive aggressive and say you've seen her point that labels are dumb, and you're interested to know when the family will stop speaking.

[StarrySkies]

Just now, Memento1 said:

All words are labels, so you could go really passive aggressive and say you've seen her point that labels are dumb, and you're interested to know when the family will stop speaking.

She would probably throw a tantrum but dang that is funny xD

[MakeupJunkie4]

"male" "female" "straight" "gay" "he/she" "Mother/Father" ....all labels. Ask Mom if you can simply refer to her as "parent", not "Mom". Similar to what @Memento1 said.  

[Anthracite_Impreza]

It's almost always privileged people who don't see the point of labels, because they are the "default". Either they genuinely don't get it, or are worried about getting knocked off their privileged perch by having to confront there are other identities out there that matter just as much as theirs (concsciously or subconsciously).

[WrenIsNotMyRealName!!]

I can see where they're coming from though. There's people out there who make up labels and terms because they want to seperate themselves from others with no actual reason. They AREN'T any different from a certain group but they can't handle that. The least they can do is be like me: I think I'm special with no grounds but I don't make up any terms to describe myself. That seems too self-indulgent for me, I just use the terms already there or none at all. According to how I relate to them.