If sex is so instinctive....

[Homer]

30 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

Anyway, it wouldn't have been instinctive for me at all.  Without a libido, it's rather difficult to even figure things out on your own without being taught from somewhere.

Yeah I can imagine things being different for non-libidoists. If you're hungry, you instinctively know where the food goes. If you never get hungry at all, it'll be much more difficult to make the connection, especially if the process of eating was something that people largely kept to themselves.

[Lord Jade Cross]

3 minutes ago, theV0ID said:

This is actually a thing in UK schools now, or it will be soon (can't remember when the programme is going nation wide). Schools will be required to teach children about relationships including non-hetero orientations starting age 5, developing into sex education as when they are older.

If it does, great.

 

I don't know how it works in the UK but I think there will be a lot more resistance here though.

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

If it does, great.

 

I don't know how it works in the UK but I think there will be a lot more resistance here though.

Well the muslims and bible bashers were protesting for months but the government have stuck to their guns fortunately. Benefits of living in a mostly secular country.

[Homer]

Well I guess porn does have an ability to... maybe not teach, but show certain aspects that some people might not have been aware of. Specific positions and the like. That could count as "teaching", but it's way past the stage of simply "showing how it's done". 

[Lord Jade Cross]

7 minutes ago, Homer said:

Well I guess porn does have an ability to... maybe not teach, but show certain aspects that some people might not have been aware of. Specific positions and the like. That could count as "teaching", but it's way past the stage of simply "showing how it's done". 

Should porn include a " Warning: the acts which you are about to see are done and handled by trained professionals. Please do not attempt to recreate, mimic, or otherwise try this at home. (Company) will not be held responsible for any damages you may and will most likely incurr in"

 

This writes itself X'D

 

[Snao Cone]

1 hour ago, hypnopompic said:

If you don't mind me asking: Where do you live? Is no Sex Ed whatsoever provided to your students? Because in Belgium, you are not only allowed to teach teenagers how sex works but you must; it's part of the curriculum (as are the biological processes, contraception and STDs). However, all those explanations are purely scientific and as such limited to heterosexual penetrative sex. Including other forms of sex or other sexual orientations is the teacher's choice. Porn and masturbation, on the other hand, are never talked about (not to my knowledge, at least).

I think this is basically the case in my part of Canada, as well. But there's a great need to elaborate on it. A few years ago in a neighbouring province to mine, a new sex ed curriculum was developed that included different orientations, masturbation, and gender identity. That was overturned with a new government, back to the basics like you laid out here. 

 

IMO it's not just about sexual activity, but self-esteem and respect for others. Porn's generally not good for either of those. People need to be given realistic expectations for things like penis size, endurance, orgasming, and communication during sex. 

[Lord Jade Cross]

10 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

 

 

IMO it's not just about sexual activity, but self-esteem and respect for others. Porn's generally not good for either of those. People need to be given realistic expectations for things like penis size, endurance, orgasming, and communication during sex. 

Some of these extend to more than just in porn

[Snao Cone]

19 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Some of these extend to more than just in porn

Absolutely. Even mainstream entertainment perpetuates this, and just kids (or people of all ages) being jerks. 

[Lord Jade Cross]

6 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

Absolutely. Even mainstream entertainment perpetuates this, and just kids (or people of all ages) being jerks. 

I was referring more to how socially many people behave like this. The media is a problem too but I think media is more of an extension of the core problem

[hypnopompic]

3 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

Couple of factors. For one thing, the requirements to continue meant that I needed to take out additional licences I didn't have, nor the money to get them.

 

I couldn't stomach the idiotic parents and how the schools were basically glorified day care centers where you received kids just to look after them instead of teaching them or heaven help you, you would get a parent all lawyered up and banging the doors down threatening to sue the second something "offended" them (and believe me parents would find the absolute most ridiculous thing to bitch about)

 

And because I did not, and do not agree with the mentality that you cannot discipline a child because that's automatically "emotional abuse"

I'm sorry you had such bad experiences with parents, that's really messed up! If they did their job correctly, you wouldn't even have to discipline those children because they would have learned how to be respectful, decent human beings at home.

 

I teach at a "professional school" where students have to choose a professional field as early as the third year of secondary school (high school in America, I think) and then they are basically  oriented towards different jobs within that field for the rest of their school career, so teaching them subjects that are unrelated to their chosen field (German, French, English, History, Geography) can be really tough because they are not usually interested. So teaching future mechanics, engineers, carpenters, chefs or cosmeticians languages can be kind of tough and usually results in a mixture of teaching, prodding, pushing, compromising, reluctant learning and a lot of praising. A LOT of praising, 'cause that's what motivates them the most.

 

A lot of those teenagers also come from underprivileged or outright dysfunctional families, which explains why they prefer to have the sex talk with their German teacher rather than their parents or siblings. Lucky me!

[hypnopompic]

2 hours ago, Snao Cone said:

I think this is basically the case in my part of Canada, as well. But there's a great need to elaborate on it. A few years ago in a neighbouring province to mine, a new sex ed curriculum was developed that included different orientations, masturbation, and gender identity. That was overturned with a new government, back to the basics like you laid out here. 

 

IMO it's not just about sexual activity, but self-esteem and respect for others. Porn's generally not good for either of those. People need to be given realistic expectations for things like penis size, endurance, orgasming, and communication during sex. 

100% yes to all of the above!

[Lord Jade Cross]

2 minutes ago, hypnopompic said:

I'm sorry you had such bad experiences with parents, that's really messed up! If they did their job correctly, you wouldn't even have to discipline those children because they would have learned how to be respectful, decent human beings at home.

 

I teach at a "professional school" where students have to choose a professional field as early as the third year of secondary school (high school in America, I think) and then they are basically  oriented towards different jobs within that field for the rest of their school career, so teaching them subjects that are unrelated to their chosen field (German, French, English, History, Geography) can be really tough because they are not usually interested. So teaching future mechanics, engineers, carpenters, chefs or cosmeticians languages can be kind of tough and usually results in a mixture of teaching, prodding, pushing, compromising, reluctant learning and a lot of praising. A LOT of praising, 'cause that's what motivates them the most.

 

A lot of those teenagers also come from underprivileged or outright dysfunctional families, which explains why they prefer to have the sex talk with their German teacher rather than their parents or siblings. Lucky me!

That's better than what I had growing up. In school, you could fail and so long as you didn't have a responsible teacher, most would just give you the grade and pass you (probably why we have so many idiots roaming about now)

 

I know I didn't and wouldn't have discussed sex with my family. They didn't do a decent enough job either way in presenting it. No idea how they thought that would translate to being interested later on 🤨

 

 

[hypnopompic]

2 hours ago, theV0ID said:

This is actually a thing in UK schools now, or it will be soon (can't remember when the programme is going nation wide). Schools will be required to teach children about relationships including non-hetero orientations starting age 5, developing into sex education as when they are older.

I love that they want to include non-hetero orientations, that's so awesome! Good on you, UK! Hopefully they'll include asexuality as well, some teenagers might be able to feel less awkward or left out if they have a community to identifiy with.

[hypnopompic]

3 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

I know I didn't and wouldn't have discussed sex with my family. They didn't do a decent enough job either way in presenting it. No idea how they thought that would translate to being interested later on 🤨

Yeah, talking about sex with your parents can be really awkward and uncomfortable, hence the reason why so many teenagers resort to porn or the good ol' internet to quell their curiosity (can you use that verb with "curiosity", I'm not sure?). Hell, instead of uploading thousands of porn videos every day, we should actually create a platform where teenagers can watch educational and realistic videos about sexuality, orientations, STDs, intercourse, foreplay, the dangers of porn, masturbation, slut-shaming, and so many more topics that should not be considered taboo anymore.

[Lord Jade Cross]

24 minutes ago, hypnopompic said:

Yeah, talking about sex with your parents can be really awkward and uncomfortable, hence the reason why so many teenagers resort to porn or the good ol' internet to quell their curiosity (can you use that verb with "curiosity", I'm not sure?). Hell, instead of uploading thousands of porn videos every day, we should actually create a platform where teenagers can watch educational and realistic videos about sexuality, orientations, STDs, intercourse, foreplay, the dangers of porn, masturbation, slut-shaming, and so many more topics that should not be considered taboo anymore.

It's a self inflicted wound on parents by parents. After all, if you get beat into thinking that it's bad how would a kid ever feel safe to confide in their parent let alone have any sort of trust towards them about it. I know my parents spent years talking about how terrible sex was. That it would ruin your life, you would get an STD and die, impregnate a girl, etc. And while all those are legitimate consequences, there's a difference between them happening as a result of not being careful and them happening for so much as even thinking about sex.

 

If my parents wanted to scare me out of ever having sex, well congratulations to them, they succeeded. Now they won't shut up about kids though and what do making kids entail,? Yup you guessed it, that evil, evil thing called sex.

 

 

[hypnopompic]

1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

It's a self inflicted wound on parents by parents. After all, if you get beat into thinking that it's bad how would a kid ever feel safe to confide in their parents

That's the worst case scenario, passing on this idea that "sex" is bad and thus prohibiting an open and healthy discussion about it. But even if it's not considered "bad" (my parents, especially my father has a real positive view of sex because "It's fun and nice if it's done right") it's still uncomfortable because it's your freaking parents telling you about this and they must have personal experience  (we all know that kids don't grow on trees) but nobody wants to think about their parents having sex, right? It's gross, no matter how old you are. So yeah, talking about this to an adult who is not related to you can be very beneficial.

[Lord Jade Cross]

1 minute ago, hypnopompic said:

That's the worst case scenario, passing on this idea that "sex" is bad and thus prohibiting an open and healthy discussion about it. But even if it's not considered "bad" (my parents, especially my father has a real positive view of sex because "It's fun and nice if it's done right") it's still uncomfortable because it's your freaking parents telling you about this and they must have personal experience  (we all know that kids don't grow on trees) but nobody wants to think about their parents having sex, right? It's gross, no matter how old you are. So yeah, talking about this to an adult who is not related to you can be very beneficial.

Fair enough. But what do you do when both parents and all authority figures act the same?

[hypnopompic]

3 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Fair enough. But what do you do when both parents and all authority figures act the same?

Honestly, no idea, but this view of sex is so backwards and really damaging for kids and teenagers. We don't live in the Middle Ages anymore, what is wrong with people? As long as sex is between two consenting adults (or two minors old enough to decide for themselves) and noone gets pregnant or swaps STDs, then how can it be a bad thing? It's natural for most people and necessary for the survival or our species, so how could you possibly turn this into something sinful or disgusting? Sure, it's kind of primitive, animalistic and not for everybody but so is boxing or eating raw meat.

[Lord Jade Cross]

2 minutes ago, hypnopompic said:

Honestly, no idea, but this view of sex is so backwards and really damaging for kids and teenagers. We don't live in the Middle Ages anymore, what is wrong with people? As long as sex is between two consenting adults (or two minors old enough to decide for themselves) and noone gets pregnant or swaps STDs, then how can it be a bad thing? It's natural for most people and necessary for the survival or our species, so how could you possibly turn this into something sinful or disgusting? Sure, it's kind of primitive, animalistic and not for everybody but so is boxing or eating raw meat.

Welcome to my world 😊

[everywhere and nowhere]

4 hours ago, hypnopompic said:

If you don't mind me asking: Where do you live? Is no Sex Ed whatsoever provided to your students?

In fact, in Poland Catholic fundamentalists* are trying to ban any sex ed. And for several years the situation has been that not all schools have sex ed, many only have so-called "Preparation for family life", which is usually extremely heteronormative, even homophobic, abstinence-only and against artificial contraception. (At the time I was at school age, it wasn't introduced yet, but in religion classes I used to "press" the priest so long until he started saying that there is vocation to marriage, vocation to priesthood and vocation to being single. As you can see, already at that time I felt an internal pressure to have my lifestyle choice acknowledged and even if I didn't call it "asexuality" yet, I was open about not intending to marry, reproduce or have sex. If I had ever had classes in "Preparation for family life", I would have done the same because I couldn't let everyone just be fed heteronormative and sex-normative propaganda.)

Still, I believe that even in countries where sex ed is very conservative, there is a space for saying that porn should never be considered educational material and that sex should always be respectful, that humiliating one's partner is abuse and not sex.

 

*An organisation called Ordo Iuris, which is the Polish "branch" of the international (originating from Brasil) pseudo-Catholic cult "Tradição, Familia e Propriedade" (is the spelling correct, particularly the diacritic signs? I don't speak Portuguese, I just understand a little). Their goal is, through acting as a legal think tank and putting their people in power, to ban abortion, divorce, sex ed, "gay propaganda", any pro-LGBT regulations, perhaps even gay sex; their final goal is a "return to medieval values". And, unsurprisingly, if the strings are followed yet further than to the Brasilian cult, ultimately they lead to Kremlin.

[hypnopompic]

Just now, Jade Cross said:

Welcome to my world 😊

I condemn all adults who built that world😒  Shame on them!

[Lord Jade Cross]

1 minute ago, hypnopompic said:

I condemn all adults who built that world😒  Shame on them!

Not much can be done about it now. Heck you could probably scold and demand explanations and all you would get in return would be feign innocence if not downright lies.

 

The damage is done for better or worse

 

[hypnopompic]

8 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

In fact, in Poland Catholic fundamentalists* are trying to ban any sex ed. And for several years the situation has been that not all schools have sex ed, many only have so-called "Preparation for family life", which is usually extremely heteronormative, even homophobic, abstinence-only and against artificial contraception. (At the time I was at school age, it wasn't introduced yet, but in religion classes I used to "press" the priest so long until he started saying that there is vocation to marriage, vocation to priesthood and vocation to being single. As you can see, already at that time I felt an internal pressure to have my lifestyle choice acknowledged and even if I didn't call it "asexuality" yet, I was open about not intending to marry, reproduce or have sex. If I had ever had classes in "Preparation for family life", I would have done the same because I couldn't let everyone just be fed heteronormative and sex-normative propaganda.)

Still, I believe that even in countries where sex ed is very conservative, there is a space for saying that porn should never be considered educational material and that sex should always be respectful, that humiliating one's partner is abuse and not sex.

 

*An organisation called Ordo Iuris, which is the Polish "branch" of the international (originating from Brasil) pseudo-Catholic cult "Tradição, Familia e Propriedade" (is the spelling correct, particularly the diacritic signs? I don't speak Portuguese, I just understand a little). Their goal is, through acting as a legal think tank and putting their people in power, to ban abortion, divorce, sex ed, "gay propaganda", any pro-LGBT regulations, perhaps even gay sex; their final goal is a "return to medieval values". And, unsurprisingly, if the strings are followed yet further than to the Brasilian cult, ultimately they lead to Kremlin.

Wow, corrupting young people's minds is still going strong, even in the 21st century, huh? We've still got so much work to do!

 

I agree 100% with your last statement, well said!

[HikaruBG]

36 minutes ago, hypnopompic said:

I condemn all adults who built that world😒  Shame on them!

 

27 minutes ago, hypnopompic said:

Wow, corrupting young people's minds is still going strong, even in the 21st century, huh? We've still got so much work to do!

 

I agree 100% with your last statement, well said!

And this mentality won't go away very soon. 

Maybe it's just my pessimistic self speaking again but I think that religions will overtake the world and erase all progress.

And this time, it will much worse than the last "Middle Ages" and they won't let another progressive movement in the future.

At this point, what we need is this:

 

Spoiler

 

Sometimes, I'd like to think that we need Covid-19.

Too bad that COVID-19 has such a low mortality rate and that it's not infectious enough.

 

 

[everywhere and nowhere]

2 hours ago, hypnopompic said:

Wow, corrupting young people's minds is still going strong, even in the 21st century, huh? We've still got so much work to do!

 

I agree 100% with your last statement, well said!

It's not my discovery, this fact has long been established by investigative journalists such as Tomasz Piątek or Klementyna Suchanow.

And as for young people's minds - it seems that "Preparation for family life" in school curriculum may partially account for the worrying fact that young people are getting more conservative again. Particularly males, because girls realise much more that hardcore conservatism is against their rights - even, on a mental level, against the right of asexual girls to not become anyone's wives, mothers and sexual partners. The political gap between men's and women's views has become quite great.

[hypnopompic]

7 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

It's not my discovery, this fact has long been established by investigative journalists such as Tomasz Piątek or Klementyna Suchanow.

I wanted to check out their articles only to realise I couldn't read any of the websites 😞

[everywhere and nowhere]

2 hours ago, HikaruBG said:

Sometimes, I'd like to think that we need Covid-19.

Too bad that COVID-19 has such a low mortality rate and that it's not infectious enough.

No. I don't want anyone to die. (Maybe except Putler and Kaczafi*. One shoudn't wish anyone death, but these are really such evil people...) But I really hope that the coronavirus epidemic will actually have good results - first of all, leading to a "new deal", a more social trend in world economy. "Coronavirus loves neoliberalism" for many reasons: because of people employed on civil law contracts, who have no social secuity "safety net" and may continue going to work while being infected to avoid losing all their income, because of places like Amazon warehouses, who have long been exploiting their employees and now continue working with laughable safety measures... Perhaps even "highly efficient" industrial breeding - and I'm firmly against eating meat at all and consider industrial breeding a horrible crime - has been the environment in which the cornonavirus switched from an animal to a human host. Perhaps humankind will learn that we need strong labour rights, social protection for everyone and a better epidemiologic protection also outside times of an epidemic to avoid experiencing such a crisis again.

 

*"Putler" is, of course, Vladimir Putin the war criminal. "Kaczafi" is Jarosław Kaczyński, chair of the Law and Justice (PiS) party, which is quite far to the right and anti-democratic on the level of these people's political instincts. The name of Muammar al-Gaddafi was usually spelled with a "K" in Polish: "Kadafi" or "Kaddafi". So "Kaczafi" is a nod to this and to Kaczyński being a "paradictator". (Similarly, the minister of [in]justice Zbigniew Ziobro is sometimes called "Zioberia" - a nod to Lavrentiy Beria.) As another politician described it:

Quote

- Jarosław Kaczyński is a paradictator...

- One either is a dictaror, or isn't...

- You know... there are countries in which a dictator is "legalised", right? There are countries where a dictator has a function such as first secretary, a state function which shows that he de facto rules the country. However, in Poland the "common member of parlament" [Kaczyński] is not in any way granted powers by the constitution, and yet he in fact controls the state, because he has influence over the president, the prime minister and all members of the government.

 

[Lord Jade Cross]

I'm of a similar mind as @HikaruBG, though I don't think that even if you could wipe out civilization, reintroduce it and give it all the knowledge of such events, would it prevent them from making the same mistakes over and over. Humans are simply doomed to repeat their errors endlessly

 

[Guest]

I have a question about porn. It teaches that all men manscape and are hairless. Is this true, or are girls expected to suck hairy penises?

[everywhere and nowhere]

8 minutes ago, sallimae76 said:

I have a question about porn. It teaches that all men manscape and are hairless. Is this true, or are girls expected to suck hairy penises?

1. What does "manscape" mean?

2. As far as I know, penises aren't hairy themselves, only the base of the penis is covered in pubic hair.

3. And, obviously, "girls" (or, rather, women. And men.) don't have to suck any penises because sex isn't obligatory. And for women, political celibacy is a choice worth considering.