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I finally know what orientation I am(And what lead me to this path!)


Pangea1430

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Hi I am a new member, Yesterday i asked my mother what she thought about Asexuality, because in our religion being heterosexual/romantic seems the only non-problematic way of life so i wondered if she rejected or welcomed the idea, so I told her that i decided to be a Hetero-romantic Asexual. Shw seemed ok with it. Bur the reason I now am Asexual is because of scars my mind has from being introduced to Pornography in my 2nd semester of 5th grade, it caused me to have a near addiction till my Mom intevened and saved me from eternal suffering, but it was too late to prevent the mental scars from that period I call "The Dark Period" which is a period in my life when my mind got the most corrupted and damaged mentaly.  In 2017 i noticed that i was becoming extremely afraid to say any term or phrase pertaining to sexuality(I can't call a phallus by its known name because of the scars. on December 26, 2018 i got a vasectomy to completely save me from having Children. In my mind,  children are DEMONIC HELLSPAWN because of the non-stop loud screming, and the "Daddy" and smell and so on. Any way long story short, the scars from porn recovery has made me Asexual and I Love it.

 

BTW i have: Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder so i got that going for me.

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The roots actually span far back to when I was about 1, when I was still with my Bio-Parents(They Were Dirt-Poor Alcoholic Drug-Addicts, they also smoked like volcanoes[Up to an est. 5 pks/day] which caused me breathing problems for 2 years but I got over it) we lived in a Motel[Demolished 2015] which was the last place I lived with them till CPS took me because I wandered onto the edge of the highway that passed-by. One night I was doing my own thing when I looked up and saw my birth-parents both completely un-dressed on the bed doing......."The Thing", both were on their knees when they were making love, well i was curious about what they were doing so I some how got on the bed to see what they were doing which i didn't know at the time but, they were making my younger biological sister who i never saw, and Very Likely she got Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder because my bio-mother was a heavy drinker(why i got FASD also). It finally clicked in 2013 that they were making love which probably seeded my path to "Acesoromism" (Asexual-Asocial(I used to call myself erroneously an Anti-Social person which now i realize is what a Sociopath is.)-Aromantic) Now I do not find any one attractive, my mother is the only one I'd call beautiful.

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