Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Guest

How Do You Young People Do It?

Recommended Posts

Guest

After seeing the posts on this site of users interested in pen pals and posting their ages, I got a good idea of the average user of this site. How the fuck do you young people manage to stay sane in this hypersexual modern world? I feel so broken/damaged from my experiences. I feel like the oldest old fart on this site. Most of you are under the age of 26. How do you manage to appear sane? I feel like an old freak of nature seeing that I am very likely the oldest asexual and aromatic person on he Internet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade Cross
8 minutes ago, Synephrine said:

After seeing the posts on this site of users interested in pen pals and posting their ages, I got a good idea of the average user of this site. How the fuck do you young people manage to stay sane in this hypersexual modern world? I feel so broken/damaged from my experiences. I feel like the oldest old fart on this site. Most of you are under the age of 26. How do you manage to appear sane? I feel like an old freak of nature seeing that I am very likely the oldest asexual and aromatic person on he Internet.

-Is an older asexual-

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

-Is an older asexual-

That is all you have to say? I do not understand the snippet of my quote with a coffee-cup appended to the end.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade Cross

Well, you are correct in a way that many users here are under their 30's.

 

However we do also have asexuals in the 30's, 40's, 50's and so on ranges. Our individual experiences have made many of us question ourselves and our sexualities many times over and some of us have actually locked horns at first because of the initial apparent "Us VS Them" feeling that unfortunately many have gone through by being bashed on in real life so tempers can get the better of us at times.

 

But some of us have learned that we don't need to be in a constant war or at each other's throats and have come to actually enjoy our interactions despite being on (almost) totally opposite ends of the spectrums.

 

The coffee cup was an invitation to join. While it may seem otherwise at first, we are actually surrounded by more people that are similar to us than we may like to think at times.

 

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC

How old are you?

 

At any rate, I've never had difficulty filtering out things that aren't particularly relevant to me. I'm not asexual, but there's lots of stuff that isn't part of my life and I just accept its existence and otherwise pay it no heed. I'm not a sports fan, so I don't pay attention to people going nuts over sports. I'm not interested in having children and am getting close to the age where it I'd either be too old to do so or it would be inadvisable, so I ignore the chatter and social media posts of friends/acquaintances who prattle on about their kids. I'm not a gamer, so I don't spend time paying attention to the people going on about whatever new games they're excited about. I'm aware all this stuff exists in the world, but it plays no role in my life so I just... ignore. Seems easy enough to me. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

Well, you are correct in a way that many users here are under their 30's.

 

However we do also have asexuals in the 30's, 40's, 50's and so on ranges. Our individual experiences have made many of us question ourselves and our sexualities many times over and some of us have actually locked horns at first because of the initial apparent "Us VS Them" feeling that unfortunately many have gone through by being bashed on in real life so tempers can get the better of us at times.

 

But some of us have learned that we don't need to be in a constant war or at each other's throats and have come to actually enjoy our interactions despite being on (almost) totally opposite ends of the spectrums.

 

The coffee cup was an invitation to join. While it may seem otherwise at first, we are actually surrounded by more people that are similar to us than we may like to think at times.

 

 

 

Okay, that makes sense. I was very confused by the coffe-cup and the message "Is an older asexual".

 

-----

 

"However we do also have asexuals in the 30's, 40's, 50's and so on ranges."

 

** Sees the Grim Reaper blowing me kisses through my bedroom window **

 

Fuck you young people. (^u^)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
4 minutes ago, CBC said:

How old are you?

 

At any rate, I've never had difficulty filtering out things that aren't particularly relevant to me. I'm not asexual, but there's lots of stuff that isn't part of my life and I just accept its existence and otherwise pay it no heed. I'm not a sports fan, so I don't pay attention to people going nuts over sports. I'm not interested in having children and am getting close to the age where it I'd either be too old to do so or it would be inadvisable, so I ignore the chatter and social media posts of friends/acquaintances who prattle on about their kids. I'm not a gamer, so I don't spend time paying attention to the people going on about whatever new games they're excited about. I'm aware all this stuff exists in the world, but it plays no role in my life so I just... ignore. Seems easy enough to me. 

As for my age, I do not like giving that out (no offense to you; you know what they say, it never hurts to ask).

 

For me, it is not that I care what people think. Rather, it is a matter of people causing me problems for never having reproduced nor orgasmed. Imagine being locked in a room for an hour by a health care professional for never having reproduced. It fucks one you in the head. Just to be clear, I would never hurt anybody. My great-grandmother taught me that no one is worth the price of a bullet (at the time, a wheat penny; if that answers your first question).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
28 minutes ago, Synephrine said:

Imagine being locked in a room for an hour by a health care professional for never having reproduced.

That's... bizarre. What were the circumstances and reasoning?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade Cross
42 minutes ago, Synephrine said:

 

 

** Sees the Grim Reaper blowing me kisses through my bedroom window **

 

Fuck you young people. (^u^)

 

If she's happen to be around, ask the old girl when she's planning on picking me up. Been flirting with her for years now

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
19 minutes ago, CBC said:

That's... bizarre. What were the circumstances and reasoning?

From what psychologists havd told me, religious people fear an after-life being that will torment them. The doctor that did that to me was very religious and concerned that I was not obeying the mystical creature's desire for us to fuck and reproduce.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
17 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

If she's happen to be around, ask the old girl when she's planning on picking me up. Been flirting with her for years now

Hahahaha.

 

I think she is into me right now.

 

** Turns head towards bedroom window and sees the Grim Reaper making kissy faces **

 

The Grim Reaper is set on me, but after we have a date, I will be sure and mention your name.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

It all happened to click for me -

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza

I'm 26, mentally 15, but I just never really paid attention. I thought everyone was exaggerating and I was the sane one (lol). Peer pressure has never affected me, maybe due to me being autistic? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tintinfan

I suspect that I was just very oblivious. I suppose a good thing about being younger is that people can be more accepting so my friend knew about asexuality and so could be more accommodating. Also you learn how to make ruder jokes for fitting in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Veezle

I think one good thing younger people have in this age is easy access to resources, especially with the internet, to help them learn and accept that asexuality is a real and valid thing which probably helps them come to terms with it more easily.

 

In my own experience through, I never had much trouble “feeling broken” about my sexuality for some reason. I guess because I’ve already been an outcast practically all my life, by the time I’ve figured out I was ace I had long accepted that I was different and that trying to be “part of the crowd” was pointless.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
cAROlyn
On 3/28/2020 at 7:13 AM, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Peer pressure has never affected me, maybe due to me being autistic? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Same here. Also there's the fact that I didn't connect with my peers enough to be pressured by them 🤔

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zagadka

I really don't envy young people in having to navigate the garbage world of sexuality. There is just so much demand to know where you stand that it must be unbearable to come out or whatever. My generation just kinda abided until people stopped bothering us, but kids these days are expected to know their standing when they are 15. When i was 15, I didn't know anything. It wasn't until I was 20 that I had any idea what sexuality was and I wasn't 39 until I identified as asexual.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SithEmpress

Your use of "pen pals" is the only thing that cues me into your age. But there's the Older Asexuals section for a reason. Not all of the older users understand what younger users are going through and vice-versa. It's completely different depending on when and where you grew up. 

 

I know I am/was(?) part of the younger crowd on this site. There are more teenagers on here than it feels previously, but maybe that's just people more comfortable sharing their ages. I think sharing ages is important to get across our different life experiences and situation. Like living as an asexuals and 50 years old comes with different concerns than a 15 year old faces. The former is likely to be called an old maid (is there an equivalent for men?), asked about retirement fears, etc. The latter is going to be faced with a lot more peer pressure with their peers going through adolescence which I'm told comes with a rush of hormones and spike in sexuality and interest?

 

Personally, I enjoy aspects of the sexual world we live in. I found my anti-sexuality religious surroundings oppressive and was happy my parents never enforced that. I would rather people be open about their desires and feelings, because it would've helped me understand I was different much earlier. I enjoy exploring that aspect of people and humanity, but I'm someone who likes looking at society's patterns and personal interactions with those patterns. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
StrangeDruid

Younger asexual here - I think it's easy for me because I'm not sex-repulsed, more just apathetic. 

 

Tons of my friends are quite sexual. I used to see it as, "Oh, I'm different from everyone else so maybe I'm the problem." I've gone through enough phases in self-discovery and acceptance now that as long as people respect my boundaries then I don't care. Instead, I see my lack of sexual and romantic attraction as really beneficial (i.e., look at all the mistakes I'm not making :P). Sounds cold, but hey, it's what's been working best for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
theV0ID

Well, I'm certainly not under the age of 26 but I've never really noticed this this supposed "hypersexualised" world some people talk about on here. Maybe it's a location thing, maybe it's just that I'm oblivious because I don't give a f**k (both literally and figuratively). Of all the things I have no interest in and yet am exposed to in day to day life, sex isn't even close to the top of the list (sport is the winner. The very annoying, boring winner).

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kates

Younger asexual also here - when you're antisocial it's pretty easy, I just keep to myself and ignore the awkward crap. If you have no friends and no relationships, there's no time to really talk about stuff like that, except when your family tries to force you to do something with your life and bullies get to you (I'm still in high school soo) but um yeah I really don't know how we do it... perseverance I guess? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nylocke

heh I am older then you are at 30 ... xD When you're asocial things work out for the greater good. What works for me is the fact that I have many online friends xD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jasmineb223
Posted (edited)

I'm 19 and for a long time I knew I was missing something but I never really gave in to any societal norms. Before learning about asexuality, I can tell that I was trying to convince myself that I was heterosexual like my friends, but even then I refused to go out with people and/or kiss them because I wasn't attracted to any of them and felt very uncomfortable. 

Edited by jasmineb223

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Darth Plagueis the Wise

You see, I started to discover I was asexual the moment that I discovered that most of the people around me in my high school obsess over sex. I’ve been harassed for 2 years over the fact that I don’t look at porn or masturbate and it’s left me extremely sensitive, anxious, and insecure about this part of myself to where it’s hard for me to discuss it with people. I’ve had a panic attack when a friend (who knew that I was asexual already and had to ask me if that was what I was meaning when I was pannicing in an attempt to describe it) asked me what my thoughts on romantic relationships are. Sadly, this was the most likely the main cause for my relationship to end abruptly last week. I just tend to continue being friends with the people who don’t give me shit for it and are generally respectful of me, while moving on from people who treat me poorly or make me feel bad about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AllieCat

I'm in my early-mid 20s. I do find it tough feeling like I'm so different than my friends. My friends don't know I'm ace, and I'm happy keeping it that way. They think I'm just shy (which I am) and less experienced, but they think I am sexual and have been in sexual relationships. And I'm fine with them thinking that. Do I blush more than others when someone says a dirty joke at work? Absolutely. Do I feel uncomfortable? Most of the time. But I'm glad people aren't changing who they are for me, I wouldn't want people to feel they couldn't say that stuff around me. So I let them think I'm just shy and that works for me. I think the advantage we've got is the internet and support, and I didn't even know Ace was a thing until I saw it on a TV show and then found this site. And I suddenly was like "that's me!" and everything made more sense.  Long story short: I'm still at the point in my life where I want to fit in and be well liked, and I've found a way to fit in. My sexuality is my business, and really, isn't anyone else's business. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
United Pizza 149

I was homeschooled and the only place I really met other people were church and our Christian homeschool group, and in addition to that I've always been more or less 'afraid' of the Internet, so I ended up being mostly unaware of the hypersexual world. And since I never had any of my own sexual feelings, it just wasn't something I thought about. It wasn't until I was about 16 that I started realizing that sex was a big deal to most of society. And I'll admit it's been kind of hard to deal with, but since basically everyone I know is Christian, my being a virgin is probably just assumed anyway, rather than the opposite. I guess I've been kind of lucky in that regard. Though, their apprehension towards talking about sex unfortunately means explaining I'm asexual is always going to be difficult. So, there are certainly trade-offs. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ella Joy

I got lucky with my friend group. It's really as simple as that. I don't have many friends who are sexually active or planning on being so anytime soon, and so they just don't talk about it. I think if they did, though, I might have figured out I was ace a lot sooner. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AnxiousAsexual

well I guess for me I never felt like I was broken or there was something wrong with me because I found out about asexuality and started using it to identify myself around the same time everyone actually stated becoming sexual. before this time I just didn't see myself any different from my peers and when people started to act different and think different I found out about asexuality and understood why I was different and why that is ok. my fist look at asexuality was in a very supportive environment and I saw some good representation of it in the media and it was just seen as normal in the show I saw (bojack horseman. not for kids but that never stopped before.) I also came out to a close friend when I was still questioning and they were nothing but supportive and so far I have been undeniably lucky to have all my friends and family support and love me. I have not experiences a lot of acephobic crap from others (except the occasional youtube comment but I just brush it off.) over all it all depends on what you are exposed to and that is why I see asexual representation in the media so important. if I had see that one episode of house (a couple came in to the doctors office and they told their doc that they identified as asexual. the doc told house, the main character, about them. he made a bet that he could prove that they were not asexual and guess what. it tern out in the end the husband had a tumer and the wife was faking it to be with him.) I would have probably just seen asexuality as some sort of medical conditions and it would have been a lot harder for me to come to terms with my own sexuality. but since I saw a show where a prominent character who identifys as asexual and the show dedicates quit a bit of time for him to discover himself and come out and find love in a highly sexualized world and to educate the public about asexuality, I just saw it as a thing people are and it is ok to be that.

 

over all I am just so lucky to be where I am and from the beginning be surrounded with all these resources and support systems that I just never got the idea in my head to be ashamed and feel broken. I feel proud to be asexual and I am proud of all of you for being your truest selves. 🙂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
United Pizza 149
7 minutes ago, AnxiousAsexual said:

if I had see that one episode of house (a couple came in to the doctors office and they told their doc that they identified as asexual. the doc told house, the main character, about them. he made a bet that he could prove that they were not asexual and guess what. it tern out in the end the husband had a tumer and the wife was faking it to be with him.)

I haven't seen the actual episode but I've seen clips of it in a YouTube video about ace representation, and...yeah, I don't think representation can get much worse than that. I'm also glad I wasn't introduced to asexuality from that episode!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...