How do you know whether you are a-, demi- or grey-romantic/sexual?

[Guest]

Basically the title...

 

I used to be perfectly happy on my own and it's only since recently that I've started thinking about relationships and if I'm missing out on all that. Has anyone been through something similar and if yes, how did you deal with it? Do you just accept it the way it is knowing that it might never happen for you and that you might never experience what the majority of people does?

[Minty greens]

This might not be the right category for this question, it might find more attention in the questioning category. 
 

if you are saying that you haven't had any romantic or sexual feelings for people before than you probably are aro/ace. 
it might take time to accept within yourself.

[- Saph -]

2 hours ago, DiaDen said:

I used to be perfectly happy on my own and it's only since recently that I've started thinking about relationships and if I'm missing out on all that. Has anyone been through something similar and if yes, how did you deal with it? Do you just accept it the way it is knowing that it might never happen for you and that you might never experience what the majority of people does?

Hello DiaDen, welcome to AVEN 🍰 Greetings from a fellow non-english speaker.

In the end you are the only one able to find out who you are.

 

Some people just know, like a gut feeling. Some others believe it or deduce it from their past experiences. You can be questionning. Just remember that you don't really need a label. If you really want a label, you can also choose the label that is honestly the most fitting to your life right now. It can change. It's ok.

For me, at 30+ a lot comes from past experiences but I also leave some open space for building meaningful relationships in the future. Labels should not close any door that you are planning to explore one day.

[Guest]

Thank you for your replies, Minty greens & Saphoune!

 

 

9 hours ago, Minty greens said:

This might not be the right category for this question, it might find more attention in the questioning category. 

I am sorry. I am a newbie and was not sure where to post it...

 

9 hours ago, Minty greens said:

if you are saying that you haven't had any romantic or sexual feelings for people before than you probably are aro/ace. 
it might take time to accept within yourself.

Yeah, you might be right that it just might take time for me to accept the reality. 

 

 

8 hours ago, Saphoune said:

Hello DiaDen, welcome to AVEN 🍰 Greetings from a fellow non-english speaker.

 Thank you! 😊

 

8 hours ago, Saphoune said:

Some people just know, like a gut feeling. Some others believe it or deduce it from their past experiences. You can be questionning. Just remember that you don't really need a label. If you really want a label, you can also choose the label that is honestly the most fitting to your life right now. It can change. It's ok.

For me, at 30+ a lot comes from past experiences but I also leave some open space for building meaningful relationships in the future. Labels should not close any door that you are planning to explore one day.

That makes sense, thank you for pointing this out. I think I'm aware that I do not need a special label—I've lived without it for so many years—but it would be just easier if I knew for sure that I am aro/ace for instance, and that I can never change. Not sure if that makes much sense...

[Skycaptain]

Whatever term you feel suits you best, use it, but don't treat it as a be all and end all. People can change over time. I identied quite happily as aromantic until I was 47, when an unexpected situation caused me to add grey/demi onto that. 

[Guest]

Thank you, Skycaptain. 

I guess I can try being open to change.  

 

[gisiebob]

you will find certainty quickest if you stop looking for it. treat words that describe you  like a wardrobe, feeling out the ill fitting.

[Guest]

OK, thank you.