Purple Cap Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Hello, I'm new in here. First I would like to introduce myself, my name is Jacqueline and I'm 21 years old. The reason I'm here is because I was doing some research on "sex-repulsion" since I thought I could relate to it, I couldn't find reliable info and then I found this place, I hope I can clear some doubts I have about my sexuality, also educate myself about thing that could concern me and others. Well my history is that sometimes I think that I am asexual because I don't feel interest at all in having sex with someone, but then once I heard people say things about what asexuality is (I couldn't relate much to what they were saying and I don't know if that info was correct) and I got very confused since it's really hard for me to get a crush on someone or catch romantic feelings, and it's even harder for me to feel comfortable with having sex. I tried to figure things out and the thing is that last year I was in a relationship with a guy who had a high libido, eventually I had sex with him and found out that I felt anxious and doubtful while foreplay, still, I enjoyed it, and I also found out I enjoy sex when I'm in it at the moment but at the same time I could be gagging (I almost threw up) more than once, I was literally hating it and liking it at the same time, the next day was always full of regret and a horrible nauseating feeling in my stomach, which made me hate it even more, it didn't stop me from doing it again though. So... I really am confused because I don't know if my case can classify as asexuality?? Can you please tell me your opinion on this? And sorry if I have bad grammar, english is not my first language. Link to post Share on other sites
Howard Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Liking sex does not disqualify you from being asexual. Though I prefer masturbation over partnered sex, I'm not sex repulsed. What you describe as liking sex, imo, refers more to having a libido rather than hinting at sexual orientation. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Welcome! Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of ability to enjoy things that “can provide physical pleasure” so to speak. You can enjoy the act even if you are not sexually attracted to the person themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
ghost14 Posted March 30, 2020 Share Posted March 30, 2020 Hello! Welcome Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Cap Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 Thank you all for your answers, it calms me down although I'm still confused, maybe I should try again but I'm scared that the same thing will happen; especially since I live in very close-minded community and I fear to never find the right partner Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Cap Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 On 3/27/2020 at 5:16 AM, Howard said: Liking sex does not disqualify you from being asexual. Though I prefer masturbation over partnered sex, I'm not sex repulsed. What you describe as liking sex, imo, refers more to having a libido rather than hinting at sexual orientation. Hi, yes I also prefer masturbation over partnered sex, but I guess both can make us feel different kinds of pleasures, and sorry I know I used the word "libido" in my post, but would you be kind enough to explain what it really means, please? As far as I know it's like sex-drive??? Link to post Share on other sites
Howard Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Yes. Libido is the scientific word for sex-drive. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 22 hours ago, JacquelinePB said: Thank you all for your answers, it calms me down although I'm still confused, maybe I should try again but I'm scared that the same thing will happen; especially since I live in very close-minded community and I fear to never find the right partner For now Id recommend taking some time to get more comfortable with yourself. Then maybe trying asexual dating sites like Acebook, or using the Asexual option on dating sites like OKCupid, or even going to Meetups and seeing if you find someone cute nearby Link to post Share on other sites
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