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Metal99

Hello everyone ! I don't have a clear idea about myself

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Metal99

I am a 20 year old boy and I don't have a clear idea about my sexuality, I hope you will help me to get to grips with it. I only like women and I often (a little too easily) have an erection when I am in physical contact with them. However I have never masturbated in my entire life and I have never had the desire to have sex: my sexual desire is limited to kissing and hugging a girl intensely. It is as if sex did not exist in my mind and there was intense physical contact at its place, as if the development of my psychosexuality had stopped at some point in my life. In addition I like women more when they are dressed and while penetration is neither my desire nor something that disgusts me, I am really disgusted by idea of licking a vagina. I tried to talk to my friends about my abnormality, but I was greeted with so much disbelief that I preferred to withdraw everything and say that I was just joking. I searched for comparison on different sites to understand how unique my problem was and I was shocked by the total absence of people in my same situation. There have been people who have tried to help me without being able to understand and others who preferred to make fun of me and laugh at my abnormality, especially for the part about licking (I noticed that there is a real witch hunt towards of the guys who don't like it). You know, "men must not have such problems, only women have them and need help, if you are really a man you must necessarily want to do it".

I think it's pretty obvious I'm a virgin and I have NEVER been in a relationship. I have had several occasion to have a girlfriend, but I had to ignore them because it could never had worked "honey there is a thing a need to tell you, I've never masturbated in my entire life, I don't like sex at all and the idea of licking your pussy disgusts me".

That's all, I write her to discuss and compare myself with you, I hope you will help me know which category I belong to (I have not understood if being asexual means not liking sex or not being turned on by anything) and what should I do with myself. Thanks in advance guys !

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MichaelTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

You could be a Heteroromantic Asexual.

Asexuality is a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone, but this is different from arousal, which doesn't always lead to desiring sex.

And there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction.

There's Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship (I still don't know what that is, I'm Aromantic).

There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like cuddling.

There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty (you can't take your eyes off them).

There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a close friendship with someone.

And more.
 

I hope that helps.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's my favourite cake,

http://chocolateartcake.blogspot.com/

ZWughhv.jpg

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SnowyAvis

Welcome to AVEN!

Michael before me gave you some nice rundown of what you could be categorized as. I'll tell you that reading posts from other people and their experiences around here tend to be very helpful, so I hope you'll be able to figure yourself out.

Here's a cake from me as well!

 

Mango-Kiwi Cake

mango_kiwi_cake_photo6-1.jpg

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Lichley

Welcome! I’m sorry to hear that people have given you such a hard time about this, that ways incredibly rude of them. There’s nothing wrong with not liking sex, and personally I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand what’s so exciting about people rubbing bodies together. As the joke goes, cake is better than sex, so enjoy :D 

rainbow+wedding+cake+7.jpg

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Metal99

thank you all !

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Metal99
21 hours ago, MichaelTannock said:

Welcome to AVEN!

 

You could be a Heteroromantic Asexual.

Asexuality is a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone, but this is different from arousal, which doesn't always lead to desiring sex.

And there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction.

There's Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship (I still don't know what that is, I'm Aromantic).

There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like cuddling.

There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty (you can't take your eyes off them).

There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a close friendship with someone.

And more.
 

I hope that helps.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's my favourite cake,

http://chocolateartcake.blogspot.com/

ZWughhv.jpg

yes, I think I am that. I have all kinds of attraction you mentioned except the sexual one. Do you think I can find a girl like me to have a relationship with ? 

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MichaelTannock
1 hour ago, Metal99 said:

Do you think I can find a girl like me to have a relationship with ? 

I think you can, as there are Asexual relationships.
Though in my case, I've never dated, so I can't give you advice.

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Dayton159
On 3/26/2020 at 2:51 PM, Metal99 said:

I have all kinds of attraction you mentioned except the sexual one. Do you think I can find a girl like me to have a relationship with ? 

Welcome! I too experience pretty much everything but sexual attraction, and while my partner is allosexual, he’s been really supportive of me and willing to compromise. For me, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t also ace so much as his acceptance of my identity and the effect it’s had on our relationship. But I’m not really very sex-repulsed, so I may have different experiences than you. What I’m trying to say is, don’t get discouraged! There are lots of people out there with whom you can have a healthy relationship that works for you. 😊

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