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pringlez

How do you know if you're aromantic?

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pringlez

I recently discovered that I identify as asexual, and I've been shifting between labels for my romantic orientation. So, I've had strong feelings toward individuals but I don't know if they were romantic or not, I just wanted to be around them, and talk to them all the time. I labeled it as a crush in my head because I hadn't discovered what squishes were or anything like that. Now, thinking back on it, they could have all been squishes, and I just didn't have any other way to describe it. 

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Janus DarkFox

Moved to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations

Janus DarkFox, Questions about Asexuality & Open Mic Moderator

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Jade Cross

Cuz I don't want to mingle with no Pringles? XD

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Howard

I don't even know myself. I don't like the romantic roles of male-female relationships and guys I've dated expected me to put out earlier than women and I was expected to enjoy partnered sex as much as them or else ''I had issues''. I never dated a trans. So yeah, I wouldn't mind sharing my life with someone but the whole courtship thing I disappoints me. Maybe I'm transromantic, if there is such a thing?

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Chef Remy

I have questioned my romantic orientation myself.  And just gave up because I don't want to get to caught up on "labels". And am happy just saying I am asexual.

I see people as people regardliess of the sex or gender. And it is personality and character that matter more than gender. 

If pressured would say I am probably aromantic and agender. But feel that does not real describe me or how I feel.

(I do not like how some things are masculine or feminine.)...That is why I gave up because I didn't to be lost in the labels or put myself in box.

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Adriano
Posted (edited)

My feelings from childhood just stayed with me and now I have the same feelings as, for example 10 years ago(I'm 18). So that's why I'm sure I'm aromantic :)

Edited by Adriano
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MetricalSky

I've never had a crush on anyone, it never even occurred to me in high school or university that I should try to go out with someone, and now any time I think about trying dating my face scrunches up like I've just smelled something foul and rotten. For me those were pretty good indicators that I might be aromantic.

 

I'm actually in somewhat of a mirror position to you – I waffle on labels for my sexual orientation from time to time, but I am dead certain that I'm aro.

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Scyllen

To be honest. Romantic attraction is a really hard thing to explain. The meaning of it differs depending on each individual. It's up to you to decide whether you feel it was romantic attraction or just a desire to get to know someone better.  Personally I see it as going out together on dates, kissing, holding hands and other stuff.  Since I don't want to do any of these things, I started to identify as aromantic. This may not be 100% accurate, but I hope it helps. It helped me at least.

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Shizuo Mei

Hi ! I'm in a similar situation. I finally accepted my asexuality a few months ago, but I'm starting to really have doubts about my romantic orientation. I'm seriously confused and scared (I seek companionship.. and cuddles.... like, can I still get cuddles as an aro/ace ? They're just best hugs). I felt no sadness in dumping my 2 previous boyfriends, but was deeply hurt when my best friend cut contact, and since I'm asexual I have difficulties getting the differences between my love for them.. (I call love all feelings of caring for someone)

Sorry no answer for you here, just thought I'd offer support in your quest !

 

Also, thanks for bringing the word 'squish' to my attention.. after a little search, I've used the exact definition of a squish for what I called my 'temporary crushes'.

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HonoraryJedi

That's the question that brought me to this forum, and it is really hard to find a clear answer. I knew I was ace, started considering if I was aro, and then got those "I want to be closer to you" feelings for a friend. I was soooooo confused. It wasn't until I had been in a 'relationship' that he clearly thought of as romantic for a while that I really understood how wrong it felt for me. But even then, I still cannot actually put my finger on the difference between how I love my friends, and want to be close to them, and the discomfort I felt at being someones 'girlfriend'. It's like the way I want to handle my relationships to other humans doesn't fit within the parameters of the culture I'm in. 

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Destan

Personally, for me it was that I never had a crush and questioning people why they think I have or should have one.

Some people obviously like to talk about romantic-related topics and I just never took any interest in it.

I always knew other people have these romantic feelings, but it didn't occur to me that I also should have them.

I'm always like "Me? A crush? No (way), why should I?" *laugh* I never questioned myself for this.

If I had to think about dating, then I can't imagine myself being in a relationship. The idea of being called someone's romantic partner alone makes me uncomfortable.

I'd feel bad for that person, because they won't get what they expect/want in relationships.

Not to mention, I prioritize my friends and hobbies& interests more. 

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Trebela Pianissimo
On 3/26/2020 at 5:02 PM, Shizuo Mei said:

 (I seek companionship.. and cuddles.... like, can I still get cuddles as an aro/ace ? They're just best hugs).

Of course you can! I’m in the same boat as you; I seek sensual companionship but I don’t want to get wrapped up in a romantic relationship, especially one with sex. 

 

Don't be scared! There are so many kind people on this site that are happy to help you with whatever questions you have, I know they helped me! 

Edited by Trebela Pianissimo

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