How do I tell my mom I'm demisexual and panromantic?

[Snickersnee123]

Hey everyone, I'm Grace. Um so I identify as a demisexual panromantic. You see, I haven't exactly told anyone. My oldest sister is a lesbian and my older brother is transgender. I'm the youngest of three, kind of the baby of the family. Now, don't get me wrong, my mom is my best friend and has been so supportive of my siblings but I feel like I might let her down. Like maybe I was supposed to be the kid that was supposed to be heterosexual and give her grandchildren in ten years, but I dont know if that will ever even happen. I just don't want to let her down but I don't want to hide my orientation from her, or anyone for that matter. I tell my mom everything and I want to tell her this, but I have no idea where to even start. If anyone could give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

[anisotrophic]

I think you should start by talking to your sibs about it! There's no rush to come out to parents, and it's good to take time to build up support in other family you expect to be more sympathetic.

[Mountain House]

You are putting too much pressure on yourself.  Toss the labels, they'll just box you in.  You are beautiful.  You are perfect.  You are normal.  You belong here with all of us; the rest of human kind.

 

Love who and what you are right now.  And right now. And right now.  Embrace the sexuality that is yours right now.  And do that tomorrow.  And if it changed, so what?  It's yours.

 

Nobody owes anyone grandchildren.  Nobody is guaranteed that when they have children they will have grandchildren.  If you decide you want to be a mother you will make it happen, until then, revel in how amazing you are right now.

 

Forget what society/culture/friends/family say you are supposed to be because what you are is something to behold.

 

(And your mom probably already knows.)

[anisotrophic]

I don't know. My parents didn't take me coming out (as trans) well. It's hard to predict.

 

For sexuality I think it's best to say you "aren't interested in this stuff" if conversation comes up, but you never need to come out as ace unless you do. Someone close to me never has come out as ace to parents, only to me when they learned I was trans.

 

Everything Mountain House says about labels boxing you in is true through.  

[Lord Jade Cross]

It's difficult to predict how parents might react sometimes, unless you have parents like mine who are outright homophobic, though if your siblings are of different orientations than hetero and your mother has been ok with that, chances are she would be ok with you.

 

Many times, the pressure to give a grandchild tends to fall on the eldests of children, although by no means does this imply that an elder child cannot have kids while a younger one does.

 

To add to the previous posts, don't try to rush or box yourself in a label. Just go with the flow of what you feel. If that remains the same throughout, that's ok and if it changes, that's ok as well. There isn't anything that says that you have to by obligation be.