Guest Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 We just have to wait for the quick scan to remove the virus from the simulation. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloomy Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Acetheist said: And for an extra precaution, your pets too đ  Hide contents  Cats would definitely have a field day.  Of course my cats have never done anything like this.....*knocks on wood* Link to post Share on other sites
Balance Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 I thought heaven was supposed to come to earth (this is earth, right?) Spaceship style. Except now I think it'll be made of toilet paper and jugs of water to distribute to us/me/them. When is this happening??  And if this whole ridiculous toilet paper/water skit is supposed to be about Jesus on a boat during a storm, would one of you wake him up already? Thanks. I'm sure he'll mock all the sheeple for getting so upset about this skit (or believing it), but at least it would end. Link to post Share on other sites
AspieAlly613 Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 4 hours ago, Gloomy said: Wrap yourself up in toilet paper like a mummy. Thatâll show that virus whoâs boss. I'll make the same joke a second time on this site. Â Mummy knows best. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 On 3/17/2020 at 11:54 PM, RoseGoesToYale said:  I take it nobody's a fan of this one? đ You sure that's powerful enough? I'm thinking two ounces of antimatter, one for each hemisphere. Atmosphere gone, problem solved. Of course this all depends on whether the atmosphere would regenerate.  19 hours ago, Acetheist said: Oh my gosh, you actually solved the problem! Let's call the WHO and hope Chuck Norris finds us (we all know you don't look for him, he looks for you). The WHO I'm thinking of would just turn the virus into an unrecognizable mess.  13 hours ago, Lichley said: Ah I remember that movie. Good times. Who knew watching all of those cheesy disaster movies comes in handy at a time like this  Might I suggest Airport '79?  10 hours ago, Balance said: I thought heaven was supposed to come to earth (this is earth, right?) Spaceship style. Except now I think it'll be made of toilet paper and jugs of water to distribute to us/me/them. When is this happening??  And if this whole ridiculous toilet paper/water skit is supposed to be about Jesus on a boat during a storm, would one of you wake him up already? Thanks. I'm sure he'll mock all the sheeple for getting so upset about this skit (or believing it), but at least it would end. Amen sister, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 I got it... reverse-engineer a version of COVID-19 in the lab and program it to destroy other COVID-19 cells by injecting them with a protein sequence that causes them to only target other cells with their same configuration.  Once an anti-COVID cell injects that sequence into a COVID-19 cell, it becomes an anti-COVID cell and only targets other COVID-19 cells. With the new protein sequence, the cell "thinks" its only way to reproduce is by injecting its sequence into other COVID-19 cells. Eventually all the anti-COVID cells will do nothing but inject each other, exhaust their own protein structures and collapse.  MUAHAHAHA! Link to post Share on other sites
Acetheist Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 5 minutes ago, RoseGoesToYale said: I got it... reverse-engineer a version of COVID-19 in the lab and program it to destroy other COVID-19 cells by injecting them with a protein sequence that causes them to only target other cells with their same configuration.  Once an anti-COVID cell injects that sequence into a COVID-19 cell, it becomes an anti-COVID cell and only targets other COVID-19 cells. With the new protein sequence, the cell "thinks" its only way to reproduce is by injecting its sequence into other COVID-19 cells. Eventually all the anti-COVID cells will do nothing but inject each other, exhaust their own protein structures and collapse.  MUAHAHAHA! With a mind like yours, why haven't you taken over the world yet? Genius!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Howard Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 8 minutes ago, RoseGoesToYale said: I got it... reverse-engineer a version of COVID-19 in the lab and program it to destroy other COVID-19 cells by injecting them with a protein sequence that causes them to only target other cells with their same configuration.  Once an anti-COVID cell injects that sequence into a COVID-19 cell, it becomes an anti-COVID cell and only targets other COVID-19 cells. With the new protein sequence, the cell "thinks" its only way to reproduce is by injecting its sequence into other COVID-19 cells. Eventually all the anti-COVID cells will do nothing but inject each other, exhaust their own protein structures and collapse.  MUAHAHAHA! That could actualy work. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 5 minutes ago, Howard said: That could actualy work. The trick is making sure you don't accidentally create another virus that's dangerous to humans.  Though these days I bet they could design the protein structure on a computer and microscopically 3D print it in a hermetically sealed case that contained the actual virus. They'd have to test it with tissue cells, too, to make sure it doesn't destroy them at all.  Altogether not as fast as nuking. đ Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Nothing here. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 1 minute ago, 123383 said: This is not science, but satire, right? đ¤ˇââď¸đ  I'm just throwin' stuff out there. I'm not a biomedical engineer!  (Though I'm sure the concept has been explored by medicine before... esp. for cancer, the idea of making a bio-drug that targets cancerous cells while leaving healthy tissue unharmed. It's a matter of being technologically advanced enough and having the knowledge to do it safely) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Nothing here. Link to post Share on other sites
AmberUK Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 As it's the 42 yr anniversary (OMG that long) ignore it and stick it in a sep (someone else's problem) field Link to post Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, 123383 said: The stuff you are âthrowinâ out thereâ isnât science. Imagination is wonderful, itâs just not science. I never claimed it was. This is just a goof-off thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Still Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Problem: COVID-19 is too damn small for humans to deal with. Solution: Make it bigger, then it can be shot with a gun. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Nothing here. Link to post Share on other sites
Acetheist Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 Let's turn the virus into a cartoon cat and add a cartoon mouse antagonist. Then let nature take its course At the very least, it would be too distracted to infect humans. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 I have two friends who are much younger than me and I'll have to make a little introduction so that you get the joke. 1. Iza (Isabelle) - trans woman, straight, anarchist, Christian, a not very educated, but highly intelligent and sensitive person. I have known her for the last nine years: Iza, as a trans girl, contacted a foundation which helps transgender people and I know them, and so the vice-chair asked me if I could look after her during the Equality Parade because she was still underage and she had promised that she won't get into any trouble. 2. Martin - cis gay man and, in a way, a sad case... he is sometimes irritating, but I wouldn't want to make fun of him too much because he really has a bad situation. I think he has had some perinatal complications, at least that's what Iza says (and she has known him since childhood), also his mother is an alcoholic... she started drinking heavily a few years ago, after Martin's father was killed in an accident and I don't know if she drunk alcohol by the time her children were born... but: Martin also has a nasty sister... and he had two brothers who both died shortly after birth. Give low infant mortality nowadays, it's striking and seems to point towards some serious problems. Anyway, Martin is not a very intelligent person. Iza says that when he was 13 years old, he was still playing in the sandbox with small children and behaving almost like them... she pretty much dragged him out of the sandbox and if not for her, Martin would have become a really mentally deficient person. Now he is not paticularly intelligent, but independent, and, in his own way, ambitious and responsible. For some reason people call him "Leo" or "Leonidas" and he hates it. When we are angry with him, we call him Leonidas or we say that some behaviour "was so Leonian"... (Example of a funny situation: there is a town called LeonĂłw close to Warsaw. Once Iza and Martin were on a train and Martin asked where they has stopped. Iza said "LeonĂłw" and Martin thought that she was making fun of him... and felt kinda embarassed when he looked out of the window and he saw that it's really LeonĂłw...) So now Iza is saying that Martin is spreading "Leonavirus" and that it's stronger than coronavirus, will beat it and people will consider him a hero... Of course, once Martin heard the "Leona-" part, he got angry and said that Iza is deceitful, that he should stop talking to her and so on... Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 9 hours ago, Jon A. said: Might I suggest Airport '79? Yes! A recommendation for my soon-to-be-quarantine, thank you  Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 6 hours ago, RoseGoesToYale said: The trick is making sure you don't accidentally create another virus that's dangerous to humans.  Though these days I bet they could design the protein structure on a computer and microscopically 3D print it in a hermetically sealed case that contained the actual virus. They'd have to test it with tissue cells, too, to make sure it doesn't destroy them at all.  Altogether not as fast as nuking. đ Not as fun either. That reminds me, if old microwaves were actually dangerous to use, then whoever invented them deserves a Nobel prize because they also created cold fusion. Ultimately it was Homer Simpson who did that, causing a meltdown with a simulator.  1 hour ago, Lichley said: Yes! A recommendation for my soon-to-be-quarantine, thank you  My pleasure! Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever is another good one. Oh, and The Car (1977). These are just off the top of my head. Link to post Share on other sites
Balance Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 On 3/17/2020 at 8:54 PM, RoseGoesToYale said:  I take it nobody's a fan of this one? đ I am. At least they'd get it over with. Quick-like. I'd rather be killed instantly than drag it out for years. Not kidding, just end it already! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 @Arodash đââď¸Â I'd like to be instantly vaporized, please. I'm not keen on living in the world of Fallout. I wouldn't survive long. I'm a noodle. Link to post Share on other sites
Acetheist Posted March 23, 2020 Author Share Posted March 23, 2020 6 hours ago, bobbypin said: @Arodash đââď¸Â I'd like to be instantly vaporized, please. I'm not keen on living in the world of Fallout. I wouldn't survive long. I'm a noodle. But think of the super powers you'd miss out on! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 @Acetheist Nah, I'm good. I don't think I'd be that fortunate. đ Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Wayne Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Gamma radiation all over the planet. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 13 minutes ago, Steve Rogers said: Gamma radiation all over the planet. Curried cabbage will do that Link to post Share on other sites
Unleash the Echidnas Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 In 2016, Louie Terrill suggested halting the Earth's rotation as a way of making certain physics experiments easier to conduct. For those who've not watched the linked video, the key components of Louie's proposal are Carefully bombard the Earth with asteroids to stop its spin. Recognize removal of centripetal force causes the Earth to become more spherical, resulting in large rises in sea level all around the equator that reconfigure planetary geography. Accept that violent winds will flow from the hot side of the planet facing the sun to the cold side. I would like to suggest the recent evolution of SARS-CoV-2 adds several benefits to pursuing Louie's proposal beyond better experimental physics. The steep reduction in the human host population greatly reduces opportunity for community spread. Extirpation of most wildlife species removes wildtype reservoirs, essentially eliminating potential zoonotic retransmission. Physically isolates the northern and southern hemispheres from each other. Since the equator is the most efficient location for landing asteroids, no one will want to get close to it due to the massive tidal waves which hurtle round the planet after each new asteroid comes in. Makes aircraft and ships impractical due to huge storms and other extreme weather phenomena, preventing viral translocation from tourism, business travel, conferences, and so on. Additionally, daytime temperatures on the hot side of Earth will exceed the 70°C threshold where RNA denatures for months, essentially killing betacoronaviruses by melting them. This ensures nearly all of the planetary surface will receive a superbly thorough deep cleaning every year without anyone having to do any work. Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Wayne Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 5 hours ago, Skycaptain said: Curried cabbage will do that I don't think so. Because of the gamma radiation, we will all become Hulks and we will be invincible. No covid will defeat us when we're green! Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 On 3/21/2020 at 2:49 AM, Arodash said: Lamest apocalypse ever.  No one is even dressing like Mad Max yet! Gosh could we at least get some people spouting cheesy lines like "you where almost a Jill sandwich" Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.