Vincent Marie Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I have a question for those who identify on the aromantic spectrum: How do you feel about romantic media in general? Is it something you enjoy? Or something you avoid? Or you feel lukewarm about? Romcoms? Romantic dramas? Stories with romantic subplots? Etc. I'd love to hear your answers as to what and why. Link to post Share on other sites
letusdeleteouraccounts Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I’m aromantic and have very few issues with anything romantic within the media. I just wish it wasn’t like 97% of songs on the radio being about romantic/sexual relationships and that it wasn’t so common for TV characters to put so much emphasis on these relationships Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I have a far lower than average tolerance for romance in entertainment. I still like quality stories, but most romcoms are low brow or cliché. Romantic dramas make me ill. Subplots are often unnecessary, but can be done well. This has always been the case for me, long before I knew about aromanticism. Romantic storylines often reinforce unequal and constricting gender roles. They supercede other aspects of complex characters' personalities. They make it seem like people should be expecting romance in every part of their life, which just doesn't reflect reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I'm not sure if I'm aromantic but I seem to lean more towards that so I'd say I'm on that spectrum.. I usually dislike stuff that's mainly romantic or where the romantic subplots are really important and kinda take over the main story. I especially dislike the average romcom. There have been exceptions but I will usually just avoid the romance genre in general. Sometimes I don't mind romantic subplots and there have even been some romance movies that I've liked, even ones that would be considered romcoms, but there has to be either something that kinda neutralizes the romance a bit or like an actually legit and serious reason for there to be drama. So for example I'm more likely to enjoy romance movies where the characters start off as enemies or where they're coworkers or friends or fake "lovers" for most of the story and only actually get together at the end. Idk, I just don't like really classic romantic romance, but if it's more toned down and there are other more interesting things going on in the story then it can be okay. Basically I can like romance when it's like sprinkles on top but I want the relationship between the characters to be based on something else, and for romance to not be the only point of the story. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I really enjoy Korean dramas which typically feature, at minimum, a love triangle. I also really like organized crime dramas... even if I don't wish to partake myself. Link to post Share on other sites
MetricalSky Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Just like everything else, there’s good romantic media and bad romantic media. I can enjoy a good romantic story, but I can’t stand clichéd cookie-cutter films. Either way though, I don’t really have any interest in romance as a genre – I’m more interested in science fiction. Romantic subplots I like a little bit more, but again there are good subplots that develop the characters’ stories and bad subplots that feel like they’re bolted on to tick a box. Link to post Share on other sites
long nights Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I enjoy romance in media quite a lot. As long as it is not stereotypical or cliche I can, but that is a considerable amount in my eyes so as an outcome I am pretty selective about it. I can find it adorable but I have never being able to take the word "romance" or "romantic" seriously. My brain does not process the meaning of that word. To me it is just two beings that liked each other a lot, are best friends with the added things like kissing etc in the case of those who enjoy that. I don't even know why things like giving flowers to someone else is considered "romantic". What does that even mean? Like... in movies they give flowers and stuff but.. ? What is the purpose? lol To make that person feel what exactly? Why are flowers given the meaning of "romantic"? Why not a wet sock or an apple? Link to post Share on other sites
Ciki Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Well,i personally really hate romcoms and romance in general (unless it's done very well). I tend to avoid romantic movies and focus more on action,sci-fi and fantasy. I also like animated movies as long as the entire plot doesn't revolve around love.Ugh. I can listen to love songs (again,if they're good).But i just end up not relating to them at all.Or songs that talk about love but not as something that you need.For an example,i really relate to Rem in the song "Mortals and Fools" from the DN musical. I'd recommend you to listen to it.You don't have to watch the musical or the anime it is based on.Just listen to the song.It summs up my feelings pretty well. And it's like your listening to a conversation between an aro and a "normal" person.(Of course,it's not about that,and Rem isn't aro but yeah...you get what i mean) So yeah,hope that answers your question... Link to post Share on other sites
Diana DeLuna Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 11 hours ago, Snao Cone said: I have a far lower than average tolerance for romance in entertainment. I still like quality stories, but most romcoms are low brow or cliché. Romantic dramas make me ill. Subplots are often unnecessary, but can be done well. This has always been the case for me, long before I knew about aromanticism. Romantic storylines often reinforce unequal and constricting gender roles. They supercede other aspects of complex characters' personalities. They make it seem like people should be expecting romance in every part of their life, which just doesn't reflect reality. Ditto! For a long time I was neutral toward most romance (though I put a hard foot down against treacly "Hallmark/Lifetime" movies--never seen a single one!) But most mainstream romance was tolerable and I allowed myself to be happy for the characters. As one small instance, take the show "Friends." For some reason it became wildly popular all over again, though I firmly believe that show did NOT stand the test of time. I watched it right from the series pilot because my own friends were watching it, plus I reveled that the characters at the start of the series were exactly my own age and were struggling to find meaningful, gainful employment. I was sort of expected to identify with them because they were supposed representatives of my generation, but it also forced me to swallow all their cis-het, amatonormative, BASIC relationship exploits as part of the package. Just one example out of many thousands of TV shows, songs, commercials, movies, and novels that most of us ingest all the time. It took me decades to realize that not only was I being sold a bill of goods, but my own lack of interest in coupling up was actively denigrated, ignored, and erased. In short, I feel like I was brainwashed into believing the Grand Kiss At The End is the only valid outcome for relationships. It's left me angry and deeply confused at an odd, awfully late stage in life not generally associated with identity struggles. What I'm going through now feels like deprogramming after escaping a cult. I keep lurching back and forth, questioning the validity of EVERYTHING and melting down. I want to blame society but keep coming back around to blaming myself. As if any of this is helpful to @Vincent Marie. 🙄 Sorry about that. Short answer: 18 months ago I was neutral toward all but the most ridiculously saccharine of romance plots. Today, I can't even pick up an everyday YA novel out of dread of being triggered by the "basic romantic happy ending." Link to post Share on other sites
HonoraryJedi Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 So, I am aromantic. I can enjoy romance in media, but I suppose I tend to be more picky about it than the general population x) I have never enjoyed romcoms, even the ones that are otherwise considered high quaility. Romantic subplots are very hit and miss. Sometimes, I feel like I really can get behind a couple. But often, it feels forced and tired. I think that is partly because romance subplots are so expected, that as soon as a pair of heteros even look at eachother everyone just assumes romance and fill in the blanks themselves. That often doesn't work for me, with an odd exception. RPGs. I'll get back to that. But yes, I do end up with otps sometimes, but often I find that it works best with already established couples. So, they already have an established dynamic of being together. The place where I find I can enjoy romantic stuff easily is when I have a part in the story. From making things up myself, to direct roleplaying, to playing a character in a video game. The first time I really got invested in a romantic plot, like, really invested, was in Dragon Age Origins. I think part of it is that, since I made my own character, I can decide how that character feels. It is a little like filling in the blanks yourself, but this time, it works for me. With some control over one part of the couple, I can easier find reasons why and how these people connect, and why they'd feel this way about eachother. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I like any art that I consider to be good. So for me all that matters is that it is executed well within the story and I find it just as interesting as any other elements of a plot. It seems like romance is sometimes depended upon to make a story exciting and when that's done it's unappealing to me because if the writer lacks creativity they're not going to be able to make a story about a romantic relationship feel new, it will just be a superficial copy of what's already been done before. I would say that because I have never felt any romantic feelings that I do like art that allows me to see things through the lens of someone who has those feelings because it draws me out of my own experience a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Vincent Marie said: I have a question for those who identify on the aromantic spectrum: How do you feel about romantic media in general? Is it something you enjoy? Or something you avoid? Or you feel lukewarm about? Romcoms? Romantic dramas? Stories with romantic subplots? Etc. I'd love to hear your answers as to what and why. It depends. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I don't even pay attention to it. I don't know how to explain what I like and dislike, but I can give a few examples. Pride and prejudice (I've only seen the 5h long series so if it's different in other adaptations I can't say much): I didn't mind it at all. Lord of the Rings (between Aragorn and Arwen): didn't mind it. The Holiday (that romcom movie): really like Iris side of the story and the way her relationship with Jack Black evolves (can't remember what name he got in the movie, sorry). I hate Amanda's part of the story, makes me uncomfortable. Divergent (movie of I dunno what genre): the romantic parts in it didn't make any sense to me, cringe. Sabrina (the new series): I kinda liked the series but she's just so reckless and the romance feels ... fake (?), just as reckless as the rest of the series. I stopped watching it after a while, it got a bit too much for me. Every single James Bond movie... Cringe. Maybe it's the "innocent" ones I don't mind/sometimes like? the ones where they don't really give you all the details but you just get a little glance of it? Nothing over the top and ... cringe? I don't know. When I think of it, if I have to see them kiss or cuddle, I usually cringe. Link to post Share on other sites
Gryffindor Ace Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Having some movies and songs with romantic content is fine, but honeslty, EVERY POP SONG/MOVIE HAS A ROMANTIC SUBPLOT!!! I just wish they cut back on it a little Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I tend to avoid it. I just don't find it interesting or compelling. Usually, I find romance drags stories down by wasting time on stupid character interactions that don't impact the plot. Link to post Share on other sites
- Saph - Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I usually don't enjoy romance when this drags the overall plot down. There may be some exceptions with romance between unlikely characters (LGBTQIA+,...) because I find respect of difference and freedom to love uplifting. In songs I usually ignore the romance part and listed to the melody. This is easier to do with songs in English than songs in my native language. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Interestingly, sometimes there are good movies purely about "romance", but those are the character studies more than romance movies. And they tend to be darker, not romance-y. What always pisses me off is the instant chemistry between male and female leads that has no basis in anything, they just hook up and everyone knows they are going to hook up because they are male and female. If you're going to do romance, earn it and have characters develop with it. For songs, I don't really care. Most songs seem to be about romance or sex. I would prefer not, but the lyrics usually aren't a big deal Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Marian the Herbalist said: Maybe it's the "innocent" ones I don't mind/sometimes like? That's a huge part of it for me, too. I don't like sleazy couples. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Moved to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations Questions about Asexuality and Open Mic Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I have a rather particular disinterest for most romantic media. I do like an occasional romantic song for reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
rainbowocollie Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 2 hours ago, Vincent Marie said: How do you feel about romantic media in general? Is it something you enjoy? Or something you avoid? Or you feel lukewarm about? Romcoms? Romantic dramas? Stories with romantic subplots? Etc. I enjoy it sometimes and even have ships and OTPs. But a lot of times when I'm watching something and it suddenly turns romantic, it does hit me out of nowhere, lol. Like I started watching ToraDora and I didn't realize that it's considered a romantic comedy and that SPOILER the two mains eventually end up together. So when that started happening, I was like. Oh. Okay. Cool, but I didn't expect this. lol Link to post Share on other sites
rainbowocollie Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 2 hours ago, Star Lion said: I’m aromantic and have very few issues with anything romantic within the media. I just wish it wasn’t like 97% of songs on the radio being about romantic/sexual relationships and that it wasn’t so common for TV characters to put so much emphasis on these relationships Right? The only use I have for romantic songs is imagining my ships with them Link to post Share on other sites
deletingthisaccount Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I can enjoy some romantic drama or comedy, but I don't actively seek out watching it either. Romantic subplots, that really just depends. Sometimes, I like it and even say that I like the pair as a couple. However, it does become annoying when every single non-romantic movie genre throws in romantic subplots, when it seems completely unnecessary. I also dislike how media in general portrays romance as the end-all-be-all of life. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I don't read fiction and haven't done for a long time now. That has nothing to do with romantic content though. I don't have a TV and have never owned one. I used to watch a lot of films on my laptop and whether or not there was a romance in the plot was never an issue for me. Anything directed by Kurosawa, Tarkovsky, Bergmann, David Lean etc, etc was all grist to my mill. It was all about directors, basically. I found mainstream Hollywood much more off putting than romance per se. Having said that, though, I can't help noticing that I've not seen 'Last Tango in Paris' or '9 1/2 Weeks' or '9 Songs'. I'm not really interested in graphic depictions of sexual relationships being the main theme or point of a film. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 I feel like a lot of the romances I like are tragedies. That may be biased to me liking tragedies and dark stories in general, but usually it is disaster. But I can still get it, I think. It just isn't a draw for me. For instance, I actually enjoy movies like Blue Is The Warmest Color. That is a great movie, sexuality and romance aside. Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Meh, I enjoy romantic plot-lines, sometimes I ship characters and I'm glad when they get together, but sometimes I get bored, especially when a romantic subplot is inserted out of nowhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Diana DeLuna Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 On 3/15/2020 at 2:09 PM, questdrivencollie said: Right? The only use I have for romantic songs is imagining my ships with them Yeah, when I was younger, songs were always great for my imaginary friends and characters--though none of them were ever romantic either. I never heard them as pertaining to myself. (At least, not until I lost a person I thought was a good friend over my aro/ace, and for many months I took on the mantle of guilt and became the bitch/villain in every breakup song within earshot. That's miserable.) Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Well, for me, I only kind of like reading about fictional romantic relationships (from novels) and movie subplots if the characters' relationships are more non-physical (i.e. about their personality differences, their personal awkwardness or nervousness about trying to talk to them--I guess, because I can relate to that, feeling uncomfortable/nervous when others talk to me), but once the characters have or express a physical relationship--not just a sexual relationship, but even if characters are making out and hugging each other tightly, a lot--I don't personally relate to it or find it as interesting (so, I feel awkward and uncomfortable). It's not something I purposely look for, when reading or watching a T.V. show; it's just that characters in romantic relationships are pretty much, everywhere, so it's not as though I can avoid coming across it. Even when reading non-fiction, sometimes, an author mentions their relationships/marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 Interestingly, something I just kinda remembered, in games I go full in on relationships. Even just role playing video games, I take that shit seriously. I don't know why, but I like developing the characters. Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly8 Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 I enjoy the story, fantasy, and emotional meaning that comes with such media, but if I think about it in reality it sounds boring and kinda creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkStormyKnight Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 I'm really not a fan, probably because I like stories/characters that I can relate to and I just can't relate to romance or anything romance-driven. Link to post Share on other sites
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