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Kura Watches: Steven Universe: Future

Spoiler

On to episode 18 of season 6.

 

"...And picking up right where the last episode left off, Steven's still pink."

 

"There's that ringtone again. It makes me want to sing Full Disclosure."

 

"I guess that's a slightly better excuse than Pearl and Garnet going to the washroom."

 

"That's a very scary smile, Steven."

 

"More indications that Steven is kind of losing his mind."

 

"He actually fixed the donut. That's a nice touch."

 

"As if his powers weren't going out of control already."

 

"Yes, Steven, you definitely have a helping addiction."

 

"...Bismuth's making wedding armour...does that mean she wants to propose to Pearl?"

 

"Wait a minute. That's not...oh. That's odd. Maybe Bismuth's regular voice actor was busy or something? Weird."

 

"Now Steven is basically breaking people instead of helping them...and buildings. Yikes."

 

"Amethyst's reaction."

 

"I kind of wish I had a dad like Greg. Oh, wait, I said that already."

 

"No running away anymore."

 

" 'I can fix anything!' Except yourself, Steven."

 

"Another cliffhanger! Only two episodes to go. I don't think I'm ready for this at all. I can only imagine what it must be like for viewers who have been with the show since it first started."

 

 

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Kura Watches: Steven Universe: Future

Spoiler

On to episode 19 of season 6.

 

"Good luck on fixing the school, Bismuth."

 

"Reminds me of that infamous moment from Jurassic Park, with the T-Rex shaking the ground as it walks."

 

"He broke half the house! Yikes."

 

"Yeah, that's not going to help, Greg."

 

"No! Not the Obsidian statue!"

 

"Alexandrite! Hopefully she'll be enough..."

 

"Ouch."

 

"Yes, Amethyst, Steven would be great at bringing out Steven's humanity."

 

"Um...it kind of is a bad time? Good that they're there, I guess."

 

"Well, that didn't work at all."

 

"What the heck? What're these glowy things?"

 

"The Cluster? I completely forgot about that."

 

"Now's not really the time to be crying, guys?"

 

"Well, I can't take White seriously anymore."

 

"You tell them, Connie!"

 

"Time to take responsibility, everyone."

 

"Garnet's taking charge."

 

"Aww. The power of love!"

 

"This should be an utterly ridiculous scene. It shouldn't work at all. But it does, and I love it."

 

"You've never allowed yourself to cry, to really cry, right, Steven?"

 

"One more episode. How more emotional can things get?" 

 

 

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Kura Watches: Steven Universe: Future

Spoiler

On to episode 20 of season 6.

 

"Here it is. The final episode."

 

"News? What news?"

 

"What're Steven and Connie planning?" 

 

"Oh, so it's been a few months since episode 19. Good to know."

 

"Cookie Cat! Oh, the episode's hardly started and i'm already feeling sad and happy and all nostalgic."

 

"Oh, yeah, Pearl doesn't like food. Oh, she took a tiny bite! That's adorable!"

 

"Now I want ice cream sandwiches."

 

"The Cookie Cat song is basically Steven's entire life in just a couple lines."

 

"Wait, does this mean that Steven is...leaving...?"

 

"Pearl's so practical."

 

"I'm not sure if that went well, either, Steven."

 

"Aww. Bismuth thinks it's because of her."

 

"Lapis tells it like it is."

 

"Peridot gets his original shirt!"

 

"Such beautiful goodbye presents."

 

"Uh, Jasper, there was a door."

 

"No, not the save files!"

 

"They're all just holding it in until the end, aren't they?"

 

" 'You're allowed to have feelings.' Greg's so smart."

 

"I don't know if that's how karma works."

 

"It's funny. Pearl and Garnet still have to bend down a bit to hug Steven, but now Amethyst has to reach up. It's...kind of funny and sad all at once." 

 

"Too many goodbyes!"

 

"Time for everyone to cry again."

 

"So the ending credits showed Steven leaving all along. That's brilliant in so many ways."

 

 

I'm sure that many things will change. I'll watch other series, read other books, play other games. But this will always be my favourite series. Yes, it even supplants Avatar. It's really, really close, though. But I digress. As much as I enjoyed, say, Clannad, or Kanon, or Digimon Adventure, or Digimon Tamers, there's things that I disliked about them. But with Steven Universe, I can't even think of three after thinking really hard. This show has taught me so many things, I can't even begin to list them all. It's rekindled my love of music and song, brought me joy at seeing characters like me, gave me hope, helped me heal, made me laugh and cry, often in the same episode. The best part, is that I can always watch it all over again. 

Words can't fully express how much this show changed me, changed my life. Garnet summed it up best, when she told Steven the story of how Ruby and Sapphire first met. The answer to everything, in the end? 

Love. 

 

...

 

Also, someone owes me a lot of gold coins for the reveal of what was in that treasure chest being left hanging forever. 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow I've got something fun planned, about books, and bookshops, and customers therein. Stay tuned. 

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Kura Reads: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Spoiler

This is such a silly little book that I decided to share my favourite quotations over the next four days or so. 

 

 

Customer: "My children are climbing your bookshelves. That's okay, isn't it? They won't topple over, will they?"

 

 

Customer: "Do you have any books by Jane Eyre?"

 

 

Customer: "Do you have a copy of 1986?"

Bookseller: "Oh, 1984."

Customer: "No, I'm sure it's 1986. I've always remembered it because it's the year I was born."

 

 

Customer [holding up a copy of a Harry Potter book]: "This doesn't have anything weird in it, does it?"

Bookseller: "You mean like werewolves?"

Customer: "No...gays."

Bookseller: "...Right..."

 

 

Customer: "Do you have a book with a list of careers? I want to give my daughter some inspiration."

Bookseller: "Oh, is she applying to university?"

Customer: "Oh, not yet." 

[A six year old girl comes over]

Customer: "Now, you talk to the nice lady, and I'll find you a book about becoming a scientist."

Bookseller: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little girl: "...A bumblebee."

Bookseller: "Excellent." 

 

 

Customer: "You know that movie, Coraline?"

Bookseller: "Yes, indeed."

Customer: My daughter loves it. Are they going to make it into a book?" 

 

 

Customer: "Is this book edible?"

Bookseller: "...No."

 

 

Customer: "Do you have any books on the Easter story? Something with lots of eggs and baby chicks would be great, thanks."

 

 

Customer: "Will you be open for the next Harry Potter book?"

Bookseller: "Yes, at midnight tonight."

Customer: "Great. What time?"

 

 

Customer: "I'd like a refund on this book. It's broken! I barely touched it. It's ridiculous!"

Bookseller: "What do you mean?"

Customer: "All I did was drop it in the bath by accident. Now look at it! The thing's unreadable!"

 

 

 

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OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer
Spoiler

There were a lot of funny ones that made me want to facepalm. Though, my favorite quotation by far was the one with the little girl who wanted to be a bumblebee.

 

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Kura Reads: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Spoiler

Part 1 continued:

 

Customer: "I read a book in the sixties. I don't remember the author or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?"

 

 

Customer: "Do you have any books that'll match the wrapping paper I bought?"

 

 

Customer: "I'm looking for a book for my son. He's six."

Bookseller: "How about this one, it's about--"

Customer: "Yeah, whatever. I'll take it."

 

 

Customer: "I'll take the second Harry Potter book. I don't want the first one. I don't want to waste any time with the useless introductory stuff at the beginning." 

[one week later, the customer returns]

Bookseller: "Hi, did you want to buy a copy of the third book?"

Customer: "Oh, no, definitely not. I ask you, how on earth are children supposed to understand it if I can't? I mean, who the heck is that Voldemort guy anyway? No, I'm not going to bother with the rest."

Bookseller: "..."

 

 

Bookseller: "Excuse me, your son just ripped the head off the tiger who came to tea."

Customer: "I know. Children, eh?"

Bookseller: "Yes, but we can't sell the book now. It's damaged."

Customer: "Well I don't know what you expect me to do about it."

 

 

Customer: "Do you have craft books on how to build a gun?"

 

 

Part 2:

 

 

Random Person: "Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Patrick."

Bookseller: "No one of that name works here, sorry."

Random Person: "But does he live here?"

Bookseller: "...No one lives here; we're a bookshop."

Random Person: "Are you sure?"

 

 

[on the phone]

Bookseller: "Hello, Rippling Yarns Bookshop."

Customer: "Do you have any mohair wool?"

Bookseller: "Sorry, we're not a yarn shop, we're a bookshop. That's 'yarns' as in stories."

Customer: "Well it's a stupid name."

Bookseller: "It's a Monty Python reference."

Customer: "So you don't sell wool? That's ridiculous."

Bookseller: "...But we do sell dead parrots."

Customer: "What?"

Bookseller: "Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?"

Customer: "...Erm, no."

Bookseller: "Okay, well, if you change your mind, do call back." 

 

 

Pizza Delivery Man: "Hi, did you order fifteen pizzas?"

 

 

Customer: "Do you have any books on the dark arts?"

Bookseller: "...No."

Customer: "Do you have any idea where I could find some?"

Bookseller: "Why don't you try Knockturn Alley?"

Customer: "Where's that?"

Bookseller: "Oh, the centre of London."

Customer: "Thanks, I'll look for it."

 

 

Customer: "Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?"

 

 

 

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Kura Reads: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Spoiler

Part 2 continued

 

[An email from a customer who received a strong warning from the bookshop after he ordered a book, sloppily copied some of the pages, then posted the book back, now reduced to a broken spine and loose pages, along with pamphlets on how to 'recognize the devil within']

"You will not forget this transaction. Every time an event goes wrong in your life, you will remember karma. I am a prophet, and I bring you this message in the name of Jesus Christ."

 

 

Customer: "I'm looking for a book, I think it was called 360 Fairy Tales. I might have got the number wrong. Could you just search for Fairy Tales and see what comes up?"

Bookseller: "...That could take awhile."

 

 

Customer: "Do you have brown eyes?"

Bookseller: "Yes, I do."

Customer: "My mother told me to never trust anyone with brown eyes."

Bookseller: "...You have brown eyes."

Customer: "..."

 

 

Customer: "Do you have any books on star signs? i really need to check mine. I have the overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen."

 

 

Customer: "Hi, could you recommend a book for me? I was just let out of prison this morning, so something not too heavy would be nice."

 

 

Customer: Oh, wow, this shop is lovely!"

Bookseller: "Thank you."

Customer: "I was in a bakery just like it the other day."

 

 

Customer: "Could you please explain Kindle to me?"

Bookseller: "Sure. It's an e-reader, which means you download books and read them on a small computer."

Customer: "Oh, okay, I see. So, this Kindle--are the books on it paperback or hardback?"

 

 

Customer: "Does this book on dinosaurs have a chapter on dragons?"

 

 

Customer: "Wow, you have a whole bookcase of Enid Blyton? I think all this political correctness has just gone way too far. I mean, who cares that Enid Blyton openly said that a woman should be the one to do the cooking and the cleaning? So she should."

Bookseller: "Well--"

Customer: --and then there are those who complain about the Noddy books, you know?"

Bookseller: "..."

Customer: Well, I say a bit of racism never hurt anyone. Everything in moderation, don't you agree?"

Bookseller: "..."

 

 

Customer: "I don't like your name. Is it okay if I call you something else?"

 

 

Customer: "Someone should have taught that Shakespeare guy how to spell. I mean, am I right, or am I right?"

 

 

Customer: "Do you have surveillance cameras in here?"

Bookseller: "Yes."

Customer: "Oh." [takes a book out of his jacket and puts it back on the shelf]

 

 

 

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Kura Reads: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Spoiler

Part 2 continued

 

Customer: "Do you have Doctor Who and the Secrets of the Hidden Planet of Time?"

Bookseller: "I'm afraid I can't find it on our database...Are you sure you have the right title?"

Customer: "No, not at all. I don't know that it actually exists."

Bookseller: "...What do you mean?"

Customer: "Oh, I was just driving to work yesterday and I thought up the title and I thought 'now that sounds like the kind of book I'd want to read', you know?"

Bookseller: "Hmmm. Well, I'm afraid you can't read it, as it hasn't been written. We do have lots of other Doctor Who novels, if you'd like to take a look."

Customer: "No, it's okay. I'll go home and have another think and come back again."

 

 

Customer: "Have you read every single book in here?"

Bookseller: "No, I can't say I have."

Customer: "Well, you're not very good at your job, are you?"

 

 

Customer: Do you have a book on the Enlightenment? My son's just about to start studying it at school. It's all about the lightbulb being invented, right?"

 

 

Customer: "You must get so much time to read, just sitting here surrounded by books."

Bookseller: "What is it you do?"

Customer: "Me? I work in a clothes shop."

Bookseller: "Well, you must get so much time to try clothes on, just standing there, surrounded by clothes."

 

 

Customer: The vampire that used to live in the cemetery down the street, he's dead now, right?"

 

 

Customer: "Who wrote the Bible? I can't remember."

Customer's Friend: "Jesus."

 

 

Customer: "Where do you keep your maps?"

Bookseller: "Over here. What kind of map are you looking for? A country, the UK, Europe, a world map?"

Customer: "I want a map of the sun."

 

 

Customer: "Do you have the time?"

Bookseller: "It's just after four o'clock."

Customer: "No, it isn't."

 

 

Customer: Who do I speak to about me selling you some books?"

Bookseller: "That would be me."

Customer: "Where's your boss? Is he not here?"

Bookseller: "The owner of the shop isn't here. She's at home."

Customer: "And who's her boss? What's his name?"

Bookseller: "She is the boss."

Customer: "Oh. Well, you're all modern, aren't you."

 

 

Customer; "Do you have any jobs going?"

Bookseller: "Have you worked in a bookshop before?"

Customer: "No."

Bookseller: "I take it you enjoy reading?"

Customer: "No. I don't read at all."

Bookseller: 'So. Why do you want to work in a bookshop?"

Customer: "Well, I don't really. I just moved in up the street, and I'd like a job within walking distance."

 

 

Customer: "Is your mother around?"

Bookseller: "...I run this bookshop."

Customer: "Oh. Sorry."

 

 

Customer [talking on her phone]: "Why aren't you here yet? I don't like walking around with so much money on me! Hurry up and pick me up!"

 

 

Customer: "I've been through your geography section. I can't find any books on Atlantis."

Bookseller: "You know, I think we managed to lose those."

 

 

Customer: "Do you have Agatha Christie's 'Death in Denial'?" 

 

 

Customer: "We've got so many books at home that we've had to start recycling them."

Bookseller: "You mean you're taking them to charity shops?"

Customer: "No, I mean we've actually started recycling them. You know, putting them out with the bins."

Bookseller: "..."

 

 

Customer: "Who wrote Winnie the Pooh?"

Bookseller: "A. A. Milne."

Customer: Ah, yes, that's right. She hasn't brought out anything new in awhile, has she?"

Bookseller: "No, you're right, he hasn't."

 

 

 

Tomorrow will be part 3 and then I'll figure out what I'm watching or reading next. 😎

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Thanks to a slight mess-up on my part, Part 3 will be for tomorrow instead [hopefully]. 😓

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Kura Reads: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Spoiler

Part 3 [weird things customers say in other bookshops]

 

 

Customer: "Do you sell reading books?"

Bookseller: "Er..."

Customer: "You know, books you can read?"

Bookseller: "Did you have anything in mind?"

Customer: "Just reading."

Bookseller: "Oh, you mean books on learning to read? My mistake. Yes, I can show you--"

Customer: "NO, I JUST WANT A BOOK TO READ!"

Bookseller: "..."

 

 

Customer: "I'm always on night shift at work."

Bookseller: "Is that why you're buying so many vampire novels?"

Customer: "You can never be too prepared."

 

 

Customer: "This is John. John is five years old. He is hungry. Do you want to keep him?"

Bookseller: "?!"

 

 

Customer: "Do you have any bookish books?"

 

 

Customer: "If I were to meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they'd be standing in?"

 

 

Customer: "I don't know the author or the title or what the book's about, but I know there were two words in the title."

Bookseller: "Okay, where did you see it?"

Customer: "Can't you just search for it?"

Bookseller: "But--I don't have anything to search for."

Customer: "Look, just type '.......' and '.......' into the computer!" 

 

 

Customer: How do you pronounce this author's name?"

Bookseller: "Well, it's like China, like the country."

Customer: "The country?"

Bookseller: "..."

 

 

Customer: [looking from the bookseller to a poster from the Lord of the Rings] "Is that you?"

Bookseller: "No, that's Orlando Bloom."

 

 

Customer: "I don't want to pay this much. I've got some cabbage in the truck. Would you take some of that instead?"

Bookseller: "...No."

Customer: "How about some potatoes?"

Bookseller: "What? No. How is that different?"

 

 

Customer [reading the back of the first Percy Jackson book]: "Is this based on a true story?"

Bookseller: "It's about an American teenager discovering that he's the son of Poseidon by accidentally vaporizing his math teacher."

Customer: "Yes."

Bookseller: "So, no."

 

 

Customer: "Excuse me,  I think you need to do something about your floor. It's too high."

Bookseller: "I'm very sorry, no one's ever complained about that before."

Customer: "On closer inspection, I think the floor is fine."

Bookseller: "Great, thanks for letting me know."

Customer: "But your shelves are too high."

 

 

Customer: "Can you point me to your military history section?"

Bookseller: "We're such a small shop, we don't actually have one."

Customer: "WHAT? No war section AT ALL? Have you no respect for the fallen? You mean to tell me you have no shelf on weaponry?"

Bookseller: "I'm afraid not."

Customer: "Are you a pacifist or something?"

 

 

Customer [holding three copies of Black Beauty]: "I wonder who wrote the other two." 

 

 

Bookseller: "Can I help you at all?"

Customer: "No, I don't think you're qualified. I need a psychiatrist. That's the only help I need."

Bookseller: "...Okay..."

 

 

Bonus from Part 2: [I couldn't resist adding this one; it's so ridiculous] 

 

Customer: "Do you have a copy of Bella Swan's favourite book? You know, from Twilight? Do you have one with a cover that looks like Twlight?"

Bookseller: "No, this is an antiquarian shop, so this is an old edition of the book."

Customer: "But it's still the one with that girl Cathy and the dangerous guy, right?"

Bookseller: "Yes, it's still Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte."

Customer: "Right. Do you think they'll make it into a film?"

Bookseller: "There's several films of it, including one with Ralph Fiennes as Heathcliff." 

Customer: "What? Voldemort plays Heathcliff? But that's Edward's role!"

Bookseller: "Wuthering Heights was written long before Harry Potter or Twilight."

Customer: "Yeah, but Voldemort killed Cedric, who's played by Robert Patterson, and now Voldemort's playing Edward's role in Wuthering Heights, because Edward's character is Heathcliff. I think Emily Bronte was trying to say something about vampires." 

Bookseller: "...That's eight pounds."

Customer: "For what?"

Bookseller: "...For the book."  

Customer: "Oh, no thanks. I'm going to go and find the Voldemort DVD edition." 

 

 

 

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So much for figuring out what to watch next. I'm now stuck between two options: Gravity Falls [which was my initial pick] or the She-Ra reboot [which now has its fifth and final season completed]. Decisions, decisions. 

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Ooh, I've watched Gravity Falls and liked it. And the She-Ra reboot is definitely something I want to see, especially now since the final season has apparently been completed.

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

Episode 1 here I come! So, I'm going into this not spoiler-free, unfortunately, but while I do know vaguely about the main characters, and the big twist, I don't know much else, so that's good. 

 

"...and we're wasting no time with getting to...whatever the heck's happening!"

 

"Must there be a perfectly logical explanation? I'd settle for an illogical one."

 

"A big foot inside a Bigfoot's big foot!"

 

"These opening credits perfectly show what each main character is like, in only a few seconds, without any dialogue. Very impressive."

 

"...Should I even ask about the goat?"

 

"Grunkle Stan, I presume."

 

"........................................................................................No."

 

"Mabel, you're definitely trying too hard."

 

"That's...probably a taxidermy 'mermaid' in that display case. ...Yikes."

 

"Ooh, a mysterious book!"

 

"He's definitely a zombie or a vampire or a werewolf, I just know it."

 

"Definitely a zombie or a vampire."

 

"I'm thinking Dipper's going to be the only sensible person in this entire show." 

 

"Mabel's been reading too much of a certain series...because normally, when someone suggests that your boyfriend is a vampire, the reaction should be to get some holy water. What makes holy water holy, anyway?"

 

"I like Wendy already."

 

"Don't be a vampire, don't be a vampire."

 

"...........What."

 

"I was expecting them to have weird names, and then one regular name, but instead they went in reverse."

 

"Dipper had the same reaction as me."

 

"Dare I ask why all the gnomes are male? .....Nevermind."

 

"You mean they haven't been doing weird things already?" 

 

"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again! Wait, wrong show."

 

"So that's how Dipper gets his hat."

 

"Ooh, a secret passage. The mystery deepens, and it's only the first episode!" 

 

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 2 of season 1.

 

"I have no idea why either of them would find that fun."

 

"Should I be worried about the state of the fridge?"

 

"Dipper's reaction pretty much sums up the whole show."

 

"Is the entire town full of weirdos? ...I was being rhetorical."

 

"Ten hours?!"

 

"The what?"

 

"Oh, so it's the Gravity Falls version of a lake monster. I wonder if the bay near my house has one?" 

 

"Wow, what a bunch of jerks."

 

"Even the art style changed."

 

"I used to like fishing, with my dad, but what I actually liked was the peace and quiet, not the actual catching. Also, one time I got a hook stuck in my finger."

 

"You're just tempting fate at this point, Dipper."

 

"Just back away slowly, random purple prose couple."

 

"All he needs is a whip and a catchy theme song."

 

"Good idea, bringing a sharp pointy stick."

 

"How is it chasing them on land if it's a lake monster?"

 

"I was going to say that those beavers are cute, but then they started biting everything."

 

"Two random guys carrying a sheet of glass in the middle of a lake. Sure."

 

"Or you could hit the rock wall behind the falls and get smushed."

 

"I solved the mystery. Do I get a prize?"

 

"It wouldn't be a Scooby-Doo parody if there wasn't an actual monster at some point."

 

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 3 of season 1.

 

"I was going to guess Sherlock Mallard. ...I like mine better."

 

"Ew, Mabel."

 

"Ooh, a secret door! The mystery shack is actually very mysterious now. I wonder how many other secret things are hidden away, just waiting to be found."

 

"I'd probably have the same reaction."

 

"I genuinely have no idea who that's supposed to be, so goblin man is a good guess."

 

Dipper doesn't like uncanny valley things, either. Relate-ability plus one." 

 

"More importantly, why does the lady in the green dress have an axe?"

 

"Better rein in Mabel's creativity. ...Did I just make a pun?"

 

"Oh, hey, it's the weirdo old guy again."

 

"The pizza is a lie!"

 

"The weather vane spells out 'W H A T'. I like it."

 

"I accuse the lady in the green dress with the axe! ...That is how it works in Clue." 

 

"Oh, so I was kind of right about the axe. Yay, me."

 

" 'We don't serve miners.' I'll admit, that one's clever."

 

"Is there such a thing as a left-handed axe?"

 

"Are all the people in this town jerks?"

 

"What motive could a bunch of wax figurines possibly have? ...That's a rare sentence."

 

"Couldn't they have just broken down the door with the axe? Unless the axe is made of wax, too? Maybe i'm overthinking this."

 

*gasp* "They referred to death!"

 

"Just for once, I'd like to see a climatic chase scene that doesn't involve going up to the roof."

 

"He doesn't even look like Sherlock Holmes. He looks like everyone thinks Sherlock Holmes should look. Wait, did he just say 'bleeding'? ...Well, that's one way to get past the censors."

 

"Wow, that was...surprisingly graphic."

 

"They're still technically alive. Um...does melting them count as murder?"

 

"So what did we learn this episode? Don't trust wax people? Don't gloat when you're a villain and you have the upper hand?"

 

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 4 of season 1.

 

"That actually worked."

 

" 'The letter P in Psychic is silent and used for entertainment purposes only.' ...What?"

 

"Well, that's decidedly ominous." 

 

"My gods, it's Porky from the Mother series! ...Oh, wait, it's not. False alarm." 

 

"Hey, what's with the sudden musical number?"

 

"Did he just wink at the audience? I mean, the actual audience, not the in-universe audience."

 

"Mabel, please stop doing things that look incredibly painful." 

 

"That furry cloak thing on the hatstand is the only thing that looks nice to me."

 

"That sounds really unsafe."

 

"Don't touch someone's hair without their permission or pressure them into a date or sniff their hair without their permission! What a creep."

 

"What the Jekyll. I like it."

 

"I'm disliking Gideon's dad almost as much as Gideon at this point."

 

"What a manipulative little creep!"

 

"Push him into the lake! Push him into the lake!"

 

"He's exactly like Porky...if Porky was rich, famous, adored by everyone, had supernatural powers, and times 1,000 charisma."

 

"...and Dipper gets to be like Ness, with a baseball bat at that, except without the PSI." 

 

"Or not."

 

"No means no, and that's it."

 

"Not only is Gideon a Yandere, he's also a manipulative, entitled brat. Never a good combination." 

 

"I suppose they could sell that really creepy painting or something."

 

"Oh, there's another book! That's not good. Why does the hand on the cover have six fingers? I just noticed that."

 

 

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OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer
Spoiler
44 minutes ago, KuraTheChibiCrystalKitty said:

"Oh, there's another book! That's not good. Why does the hand on the cover have six fingers? I just noticed that."

I was wondering when or if you would notice that.

 

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 5 of season 1.

 

"The Mystery Shack is now a Mystery Hack. It could be worse--it could be a Mystery Sack."

 

"Oh, gods that taxidermy mermaid is hideous! What's it even made out of? Wait, no, I don't want to know."

 

"You guys need safety nets or at least harnesses! Yikes." 

 

"I'll admit, that kind of seems fun."

 

"Oh, no, what's Dipper going to do about this predicament?"

 

"I love dance parties! ...When I'm by myself, that is."

 

"Wait, what??? They're thirteen? I thought for sure they were ten, maybe eleven. Oh, wait, they're not. It doesn't help that they're both so short."

 

"It looks like a muffin to me."

 

"I bet the writers had fun coming up with those names."

 

"Yeah, but she's Mabel. She's all over doing inexplicable things."

 

"Unless you're Roman, you mean Heracles."

 

"Are teenagers usually like this?" *thinking back to most of the other students at high school* "...Yep."

 

"What the flip?!"

 

"He had to get up to get the ice cream, so he must really like the show."

 

"Yikes."

 

"That's just like the old sarcophagus trick."

 

"Well, this episode just got even creepier. ....and weirder."

 

"What the heck?!?!"

 

"Disrespectful short pants? Okay, then."

 

"Poor Dipper sounds like he's dying inside."  

 

"Well, so much for the tv."

 

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 6 of season 1.

 

"Why would anyone do Christmas shopping in the summer? I mean, it's one thing to be going along and think, oh, that would be a nice Christmas gift!', but actively going and looking?"

 

"They actually just up and left, despite the fact that the cash register is just sitting there, unattended."

 

"Yep, that's a town full of weirdos. Er...diner full of weirdos?"

 

"Oh, gods. Her eye. Oh, gods."

 

"This whole scenario is just...wrong."

 

"Enough with the cracking knuckles!" *shudder*

 

"You can't just force someone to like someone else."

 

"What a convenient Minotaur. Since I unfortunately know about the original myth, I definitely don't want to know where this one came from."

 

"Nor do I want to know where these ones came from."

 

"This whole episode feels all wrong."

 

"I really don't know if this is supposed to be a parody of toxic masculinity, or endorsing it, or both."

 

"Soos has the right reaction."

 

"This is one suspiciously specific song."

 

"Cue the dramatically appropriate weather."

 

"Well, that's just disgusting."

 

"That's also disgusting. I do not want to know how those bears ended up merged together."

 

"No actual musical groups were harmed in the making of this episode!"

 

"Dipper's finally seeing sense."

 

"What kind of advice is that, Mabel. Sheesh."

 

"He kind of brought it on himself. I suppose he could pretend to be allergic to cats?" 

 

 

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23 hours ago, KuraTheChibiCrystalKitty said:

Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

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On to episode 6 of season 1.

 

"Why would anyone do Christmas shopping in the summer? I mean, it's one thing to be going along and think, oh, that would be a nice Christmas gift!', but actively going and looking?"

 

"They actually just up and left, despite the fact that the cash register is just sitting there, unattended."

 

"Yep, that's a town full of weirdos. Er...diner full of weirdos?"

 

"Oh, gods. Her eye. Oh, gods."

 

"This whole scenario is just...wrong."

 

"Enough with the cracking knuckles!" *shudder*

 

"You can't just force someone to like someone else."

 

"What a convenient Minotaur. Since I unfortunately know about the original myth, I definitely don't want to know where this one came from."

 

"Nor do I want to know where these ones came from."

 

"This whole episode feels all wrong."

 

"I really don't know if this is supposed to be a parody of toxic masculinity, or endorsing it, or both."

 

"Soos has the right reaction."

 

"This is one suspiciously specific song."

 

"Cue the dramatically appropriate weather."

 

"Well, that's just disgusting."

 

"That's also disgusting. I do not want to know how those bears ended up merged together."

 

"No actual musical groups were harmed in the making of this episode!"

 

"Dipper's finally seeing sense."

 

"What kind of advice is that, Mabel. Sheesh."

 

"He kind of brought it on himself. I suppose he could pretend to be allergic to cats?" 

 

 

Honestly, I feel like that whole episode was just...terrible.

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 7 of season 1.

 

"I've never quite figured out the appeal of silly string."

 

"Free with a question mark. I expect that if the kids discovered an actual free lunch, Grunkle Stan would try to sell it to someone."

 

"That looks decidedly unsafe."

 

"An eerie green glow. Definitely unsafe."

 

"That's...um....wow. Melting wax figures and dissolving copied body parts. What next? Crop circles that make the corn come to life?"

 

"Cue the scare cord."

 

"That is one looooong list."

 

"Great, so Dipper's having a panic attack and Mabel's making friends? That seems unfair."

 

"Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. That's a terrible idea! Didn't anyone ever tell Dipper that cloning himself is a really terrible idea?"

 

" 'You can always just disintegrate me with water.' He said that so casually..."

 

"This is going end up like the Duplicator story in Calvin and Hobbes, I just know it."

 

"Yikes."

 

"All of those flashing lights would give me a headache for sure. I don't get the appeal of these sorts of events, either."

 

"Yep, I was right."

 

"So that's why he's called Dipper."

 

"They left snacks and a colouring book. Perfect."

 

"The fact that they're all so calm about dissolving into nothing makes it worse."

 

"Wonder what the crown is made out of?"

 

"I do hope Mabel's new friends show up again."

 

"Double yikes. Maybe I'm just used to so-called 'kids' shows' being overly saturated, but I'm actually kind of glad that Gravity Falls is pushing the age limit here."

 

"I really like pianos that have sound effects and different instruments added. I'd like to get one, a small one, hopefully, one day."

 

 

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Spoiler

Dipper and the Dippers (Oh, wait... wrong show.)

 

I really liked Mabel's friends.

 

My grandmother had an electronic keyboard that had like 100 different instruments/sound effects you could choose from. It was fun to play around with.

 

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 8 of season 1.

 

"Quick, escape from the covered wagons and horses!" 

 

"Oh, it's the glass guys again."

 

"No mention of pushing the indigenous people off the land they were living on, I see."

 

"...Uh..."

 

"My dad calls backpacks 'haversacks' sometimes, just because it's one of those words that always sounds silly."

 

"...Please get rid of those raccoon tail hats..."

 

"Being silly is one of the best things, though."

 

"Pacifica and Gideon in the same episode. Maybe they can turn on each other and leave everyone else alone."

 

"Oh, look, a sinister triangle."

 

"They'll be joining the Scooby Doo gang at this rate."

 

"No, don't eat the books. Unless it's Twilight or the Handmaid's Tale."

 

"...Or it'll just burn up and...Dipper, you're supposed to be the sensible one!"

 

"Good thing he didn't burn it. But, on the bright side, they've got a treasure map!"

 

"How and why does this middle of nowhere town have a museum?"

 

"Why can't Dipper get the pink balloon and Mabel get the blue one?"

 

"Those darn woodpecker husbands, they're so stubborn. Wives? I can't tell the gender. Can woodpeckers actually be gay? ...What am I even writing?"

 

"What a waste of perfectly good tomatoes."

 

"I'm more interested in the book she's holding. Maybe it's the same one that Dipper has?"

 

'The document also says that the real president of the US is Santa Claus, that 'writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep' and that if 'you recite the Pledge of Allegiance backwards, you'll gain secret wizard powers', among other weird things, so I'm not sure how trustworthy this is." 

 

"Near-indestructible peanut brittle, apparently."

 

"How are they not falling off the train?"

 

"...I'm getting the suspicion that the two officer weirdos might be gay. ...But this is a Disney production. How'd that get past the censors?" 

 

"Oh, Dipper can speak Pig Latin. A handy skill indeed."

 

"Don't give her the document! She could just destroy it...Ugh."

 

"I was going to say that making sense is overrated, but I've had enough trouble being understood. Maybe it's underrated instead?"

 

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 9 of season 1.

 

"If Stan keeps this up, he'll turn into a backwards version of John Hammond."

 

"Messing around with mind-lost tourists is one thing, but this? Someone could get seriously hurt!"

 

"Who's this mysterious agent with an invisibility suit?"

 

"Cotton Candy is just bleh."

 

"I don't think I'd want a pet pig."

 

"Oh, Wendy, oh, ow."

 

"He's like an incompetent Man in Black, minus the black suit. Man in Grey?"

 

"It looks like a tape measure. Hey, I said it first!"

 

"He blends in because he's bland?"

 

"Ew, Mabel."

 

"How are they not meeting themselves?"

 

"He could've just told her to duck."

 

"Just tell her to duck!" 

 

"Cartoon physics to the rescue!"

 

"A spontaneous stampede of buffalo."

 

"This is not going to end well."

 

"Poor Mabel."

 

"He could've just told her to duck!"

 

"Pacifica got a chicken? Perfect."

 

"Making it so that their parents never met, wouldn't that cause a time paradox? Time travel makes no sense, which is saying something, since I've been watching Doctor Who for years."

 

"Spontaneously shrinking pants. Okay, then. That's not even the weirdest thing in this episode."

 

 

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 10 of season 1.

 

"Pac-Man's a triangle. Foreshadowing!"

 

"Fight Fighters, welcome to the Department of Redundancy Department."

 

"Wow, what a jerk."

 

"That is one huge stack of crackers."

 

"He actually brought popcorn."

 

"...That's a really sexist thing to say, Mabel."

 

"Stan has apparently never heard of step-stools." 

 

"It's almost like the Konami code."

 

"Quick! Someone get him a Super Mushroom or something!"

 

"Hey, that kid is dressed suspiciously like Red."

 

" 'FIREBALL! UPPERCUT! BOWL OF PUNCH!' This is a really fun episode."

 

"A giant glowing Start button. I love it."

 

" 'THE CHILD GAVE ME A TACO!' Ahahahaha. Brilliant."

 

"Fingers crossed, literally."

 

"Understatement of the week, Dipper."

 

"Don't forget to loot random peoples' houses."

 

"Oh, look, a Donkey Kong reference."

 

"Soos must have been stuck in there for hours. I'd have a panic attack for sure."

 

" 'YOU CAN HIDE, BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE!' ...Sounds like something got lost in translation there..."

 

"So much for the 'not acting like a man' in that episode that I don't want to be reminded of."

 

"I guess he's never heard of Samus."

 

"He can't look up! That's brilliant! Wait, I said that already."

 

"How is Dipper not dead? Must be in a cutscene. Video game logic!"

 

"Oh, yeah, they're still stuck up there."

 

"...What kind of girls has been talking to?"

 

"What the heck?! Oh, it was a dream...just like the ending of Super Mario Bros. 2. How about that."

 

 

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Edit in: I forgot to add my reaction to Stan claiming that he has ten guns, so here it is:

Spoiler

"What??? How did he get ten guns? For that matter, how did he get a license? He probably stole them. Oh, right, gun laws are different in the US."

 

...

 

"He probably stole them anyway."

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 11 of season 1.

 

"Gideon's planning something sinister."

 

"...The heck?"

 

"Stan tricked him! I wasn't expecting that."

 

"They're so casual about it, it's hilarious."

 

" 'no one uses millimetres--' Excuse me?"

 

"I remember when I wanted to be taller than my cousin. But nowadays I'm happy being short."

 

"How convenient that this mysterious book has exactly what Dipper thinks he needs."

 

"Tiny deer and fairy rings...that's not good. Run away, Dipper!"

 

'A glowing crystal! This isn't a Final Fantasy game."

 

"That's actually a pretty clever idea."

 

"This is not going to end well."

 

"She doesn't even notice the giant pawn."

 

"Accio Invisible Wizard!"

 

"That's genuinely frightening."

 

"...I really don't want to know what it's like for Gideon's mother."

 

"I thought after his last episode that Gideon couldn't get worse. I was completely wrong."

 

"Oh, that's neat. Small stories often allow for a lot of creativity."

 

"Oh, gods. That's awful."

 

"Is that the same woodpecker from before? I honestly can't tell."

 

"Priorities, Dipper!"

 

"Did he put airholes in that jar? ...Of course not, he's Gideon."

 

"This reminds me too much of a certain scene from Discworld's Witches Abroad, and I don't like it. ...The mirrors, not the shrinking."

 

"Oh, it was a salt shaker. Nevermind, then."

 

"Soos, ew. Double ew."

 

"Good thing Gideon stopped to gloat."

 

"But there's plenty more crystals back in the forest."

 

"Yeesh. I feel so bad for his mother." 

 

 

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KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty

Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 12 of season 1.

 

"Parking in the wheelchair spot? How dare you."

 

"Master of fright, huh. More like master of being super conspicuous."

 

"With that blue face paint, Soos looks a little like Perry the Platypus, and that's a comparison I thought I'd never make."

 

"The trouble with trick-or-treating in a small, middle of nowhere town is that no one knows who you're supposed to be, especially when you dress up in a homemade Wizardmon costume and everyone just thinks you're a witch. ...Speaking from experience here."

 

*gasp* "Mabel's friends are back! Hooray!"

 

"Stan looks pretty good in the vampire costume."

 

"What the flip?"

 

"WHAT THE FLIP?!?!?!?!"

 

"Only 500? That's easy, Dipper."

 

"He didn't say they had to have 500 different ones, either. Just get a big box of those terrible gooey things and give him those."

 

"Priorities, Mabel."

 

"What're those kids made of? Diamonds? It certainly scared me, so mission accomplished." 

 

"See, Dipper has the right idea."

 

"BLAH! Creepy monster thing jump scare!"

 

"I will admit, those are pretty cute costumes."

 

"I'm just waiting for some disastrous thing to happen."

 

"How'd he take his costume off so fast?"

 

"See, I was right."

 

"His voice reminds me of something, but I'm just not sure what."

 

"Soos to the rescue."

 

"Now I know why that voice sounds familiar. It reminds me of Noh-Face! Not only that, the 'turning into an amorphous monster and growing extra limbs' thing is very Noh-Face-ish. I wonder if that was intentional?"

 

"...Definitely intentional."

 

"They'd make a great RPG party."

 

"Ew."

 

"Double ew."

 

"Those kids are still there, hours later? Sheesh."

 

" 'well, you see, Wendy, we were running and hiding for our lives from a Youkai wannabe made of unwanted candy...' "

 

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 13 of season 1.

 

"Oh, look, it's discount Wheel of Fortune."

 

"Cue the immediate contradiction."

 

"I was about to comment on how mean that is, but then it occurred to me that my mum would want one."

 

"Does Gravity Falls have a giant eagle infestation or something?"

 

"Why does Stan want money so much, anyway? Maybe he has a Tom Nook Complex." 

 

"She could wear the shirt inside out, no one would know."

 

"Quoth the Eleventh Doctor: 'I wear a Fez now. Fezes are cool.' "

 

"Oh. I was actually expecting Stan to just be lazy, but instead he's joined Discount Wheel of Fortune. Okay, then.""

 

*gasp* "They mentioned death!!!"

 

"Mabel has entered the Department of Redundancy Department."

 

"...Dare I ask why Dipper decided on a morning star?"

 

"This is not going to work."

 

"Is he cheating? ...That was a silly question, Of course he's cheating. He's Stan."

 

"Couldn't you have picked a less...lethal monster, Dipper?"

 

"Hopefully this won't be like a standard Voyager episode, where the ship, or in this case, the shack, is perfectly and inexplicably back to normal by the next episode no matter how severe the damage is."

 

"That...actually worked..."

 

"Is Wendy allergic to work?"

 

"...and he's going to lose everything."

 

"...and he lost everything."

 

"Stan must be allergic to politeness."

 

 

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Kura Watches: Gravity Falls

Spoiler

On to episode 14 of season 1.

 

"How can you tell if it's bottomless just by looking at it?"

 

"I don't even want to know why she decided she had to chain it."

 

"Cue the ominous storm!"

 

"Yeah, I saw that coming."

 

"Oh, the goat's still around."

 

"This scene must have been easy to animate."

 

"...So...was that a snake bite or not?"

 

"Oh, no, not the creepy old guy again."

 

"Dipper, what happened to your common sense?"

 

"For once Soos is talking sense."

 

"...Voice over professionals? Someone needs to fix the fourth wall now."

 

"Why are you trusting him?!"

 

"I've never quite figured out the appeal of pinball."

 

" 'Hushed exclamation of wonder!' Hahaha."

 

"A sentient pinball skull?"

 

"What a convenient green button."

 

"Brought to you by the Pinball Association of America!"

 

"Looks like crumby fan-fiction if I ever saw one."

 

"Here I thought the weirdo officers couldn't get any denser. Any more dense? Which is it?"

 

"This is going to go horribly wrong."

 

"Oh, look, another UFO hoax in the news."

 

"...Well, that dived into existential horror really fast."

 

"So that's what was in the box. ...Probably the last thing I would've thought of."

 

"A wormhole in the middle of a middle of nowhere town. Sure, why not."

 

"At least he gets to look at the credits."

 

 

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