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DarkGloomSquid

I dont feel connected to whole Ace thing

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PanFicto.
3 hours ago, Someone Else said:

It's a really common story here to hear about how an ace felt so wonderful to have found asexuality and to "not be alone."  But a lot of us didn't feel any special relief in finding this stuff.   If anything I realized I was more alone than ever before.  

Part of it also is that many aces feel very alienated in life specifically because they don't innately want sex. So to find others who feel the same tll is a HUGE thing (heck, I cried when I realised I wasn't the only one, before I'd ever felt that spark).

 

So being able to be like "I actively wanna try sex someday" does put you on a totally different wavelength than all the aces that have come together specifically *because* of how alienated everyone wanting sex makes them feel, meaning it's understandable one may feel a bit separate from them. Not saying that's the case in your situation of course (as I don't know your situation), I'm just referring to the opening post. 

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confusedbat
6 hours ago, GatsbyGirl said:

Hola....

 

So for those who do know I just loath being ace. I dont have ace moments. I like making sexual jokes, I like writing smut, I like reading smut. I have no problems with sex. I wanna try it one day. 

 

And that makes me feel sooo not ace but I dont feel any sexual attraction to anyone and that makes me ace. I get along with sexual people just fine but ace people... I dont know sometimes they remind me of vegans and I cant really handle vegans. Bring me down for not being ace enough.

 

I just cant seem to really connect with other aces much. I have a few I get a long with but otherwise I dont know I feel like I just dont belong and it makes me want to rip my hair out. 

 

And Im just irrtated with being ace. I have enough problems as it is and this is just added to my list of things I dont want or wanna deal with.

 

I just wanna hit my head against the wall and have my problems vanish. 

 

This is just me venting a bit about the whole ace thing. 

If it's any consolation, I have this feeling like I don't truly belong anywhere, even in the ace community at times because of my own quirks. But the asexual community is the closest thing to a group I feel I fit into, so I have gotten comfortable with it. I know I am definitely asexual, but that feeling of being an outsider or intruder still hangs on. I'm also pretty comfortable talking about sex and all that to an extent. I love romance in fiction and adult humour. Some stuff does still make me blush and feel uncomfortable though. If I ever have to talk about sex I tend to talk about it in a very sterilized way like a doctor. I don't like using the crude language for it. I've come to learn that asexuality is a spectrum though like a lot of things. But I am probably sounding like a broken record at this point. Anyways, I just hope that you feel less a lone knowing you're not the only one who feels like that. I never want to make a person feel like they don't belong in this community. You are ace enough, or whatever you feel you most identify with, you are enough and you are welcome.  

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WanderingKate

I think I know what you mean...although in some ways I relate really strongly to this community and I'm absolutely grateful to have it, there have been times I've felt like an outsider. 

Thinking on it...how you treat your sexual orientation is exactly how I treat my romantic orientation. I really, really don't want to be aromantic, but alas. I've always desired to have a stable life with a partner, and I've always been curious to the point of fascination with the idea of romantic love and the desire to feel it myself. However, no matter how hard I've tried in the past, I can never seem to force myself to care about dating, to daydream about romance, to actually want a romantic relationship enough to pursue it. I realized I like the idea/concept of romantic love, but in real life I couldn't care less. I've been on perfect romantic dates with wonderful people, stargazing and picnicking and cuddling and candlelit dinners, and although the idea of it was always appealing, the real thing was boring to me. And so when I've seen posts in the past of aromantics talking about how happy they are they don't have to deal with relationship drama and how lucky they are to be aro, I sometimes struggle to relate. 

 

 

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Unleash the Echidnas
10 hours ago, GatsbyGirl said:

I like making sexual jokes, I like writing smut, I like reading smut. I have no problems with sex. I wanna try it one day. 

Nope, nope, nope, yep, and been there, done it. I'm not aro and definitely not repulsed but romantic relationships and maybe eventually building up enough of a connection to go something resembling sort of demi-on have been rarities in my life. There are many other things in life I enjoy more, find more rewarding, and take greater interest in. IRL I've met one other person who approaches life like this. Maybe two, but I suspect the other's more likely aro-ace.

 

 

10 hours ago, GatsbyGirl said:

I just wanna hit my head against the wall and have my problems vanish. 

Usually that happens more when you decide to stop hitting your head against the wall. It's kind of been touched on already upthread, but I would agree those of us between ace and allo tend to be quieter.

 

 

8 hours ago, GatsbyGirl said:

Libido doesn't go hand in hand with sexual attraction ....or does it?

Doesn't for me. I don't have much of a libido but it keeps on even though I haven't been sexually attracted to anyone in over a decade. Wish it had an off switch or that humans at least had well-defined mating seasons like some vertebrates do. But that's not how it works so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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naakka
6 hours ago, Pan Ficto. said:

Part of it also is that many aces feel very alienated in life specifically because they don't innately want sex. So to find others who feel the same tll is a HUGE thing (heck, I cried when I realised I wasn't the only one, before I'd ever felt that spark).

 

So being able to be like "I actively wanna try sex someday" does put you on a totally different wavelength than all the aces that have come together specifically *because* of how alienated everyone wanting sex makes them feel, meaning it's understandable one may feel a bit separate from them. Not saying that's the case in your situation of course (as I don't know your situation), I'm just referring to the opening post. 

That's so true. If you're sex-curious, you wouldn't have to worry about the pressure to be interested in the thing that society seems to put great passion into. Though with the lack of sexual attraction, you might probably still have to deal with the fact that to you, sex means a very different thing that it means to allo people. Which is a thing you could still find support here for (check out the areas "Asexual relationships" and "For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies"). This is actually an issue both aces and allos might fail to realize they will have on relationship with each others, because of both think the way they experience sex(uality) is the way everyone does, and it can be difficult to change your way of thinking on something that's so innate to you.

 

4 hours ago, WanderingKate said:

I think I know what you mean...although in some ways I relate really strongly to this community and I'm absolutely grateful to have it, there have been times I've felt like an outsider. 

Thinking on it...how you treat your sexual orientation is exactly how I treat my romantic orientation. I really, really don't want to be aromantic, but alas. I've always desired to have a stable life with a partner, and I've always been curious to the point of fascination with the idea of romantic love and the desire to feel it myself. However, no matter how hard I've tried in the past, I can never seem to force myself to care about dating, to daydream about romance, to actually want a romantic relationship enough to pursue it. I realized I like the idea/concept of romantic love, but in real life I couldn't care less. I've been on perfect romantic dates with wonderful people, stargazing and picnicking and cuddling and candlelit dinners, and although the idea of it was always appealing, the real thing was boring to me. And so when I've seen posts in the past of aromantics talking about how happy they are they don't have to deal with relationship drama and how lucky they are to be aro, I sometimes struggle to relate. 

 

 

I got to know I'm aromantic only after I had already found out I'm asexual. For some reason, aromanticism never caused that huge inner confusion and distress to me that asexuality did. Romanticity was always just "that trivial frivolous thing" I had no need to participate or experience. Asexuality, on the other hand, made me feel really alone, like there really was no place for me on my life.

 

I actually don't know why, since I don't have friends who talked expectionally lot about sex stuff. I think it's just my aroace brain that built this assumption with the hierarchy that "the lack of sexual attraction is the great root that causes everything I'm somehow missing", and somehow I saw romantic behavior just as a result of sexual attraction, rather than a separate thing (like I do today, thanks to AVEN :)). I kinda suspected that if I could make myself interested in people sexually, it would automaticly make me also romantic (obviously no, since aromantic allosexual people exist).

 

And I tried, so much, for so long, to see even just a spark of "hotness" on anyone to feel somewhat normal. I lied to myself, I lied to others, and spent years avoiding to do stuff I didn't want to do while pretending it's all cool and I'm going to get into a romantic relationship at any minute. But all that happened I just became extremely frustrated and disappointed in my life.

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Someone Else

Asexuals might still have erogenous zones, or an emotional connection through sex, or just curiosity to see "what the hell is the big deal," or self-esteem issues connected to sexual rejection, or acting out fantasies that require a partner.  They sometimes have the same fantasies and kinks as a sexual person, just without the sexual turn on but with the same emotional excitement coming from the fantasy.  I tend to be as attracted to women as any sexual guy, except that I'm not interested in anyone's genitals; it puts me in a rarer middle ground.
A lot of asexual though, not only don't care about or like any of those, some aren't aware that these are even reasons to have sex beyond sexual attraction.  It can feel weirdly alienating, because these reasons for having sex... they seem like common knowledge to me before I came here, and found out that they most certainly aren't common knowledge.
I've never seen or heard of an asexual who is motivated to actually pursue or ask for sex though... some just "try it" or put up with it or are ok with it when the right partner really needs it.

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Philip027
Quote

And that makes me feel sooo not ace but I dont feel any sexual attraction to anyone and that makes me ace.

If you choose to define asexuality solely that way, sure.  I don't though, and nothing says you have to.

 

If you feel you're too sexual to be asexual, then there's probably something to it.

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DarkGloomSquid

 

2 hours ago, Philip027 said:

If you feel you're too sexual to be asexual, then there's probably something to it.

But what makes me sexual?

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DarkGloomSquid
21 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

@GatsbyGirl There are a lot of reasons why folk have limited attraction towards other people. In my case it is because I have Aphantasia

 

https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/kwkway/what-its-like-to-instantly-forget-what-friends-and-lovers-looks-like

 

I am not Asexual, I am Demisexual. I have only ever been attracted to one person, my wife. I needed to know her for an exceptionally long time and I needed to share many social, romantic and intellectual situations to become attracted to her

 

I hope the above information is useful. If not, no worries

This was quiet interesting to read! 

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DarkGloomSquid
20 hours ago, Pan Ficto. said:

Part of it also is that many aces feel very alienated in life specifically because they don't innately want sex. So to find others who feel the same tll is a HUGE thing (heck, I cried when I realised I wasn't the only one, before I'd ever felt that spark).

 

So being able to be like "I actively wanna try sex someday" does put you on a totally different wavelength than all the aces that have come together specifically *because* of how alienated everyone wanting sex makes them feel, meaning it's understandable one may feel a bit separate from them. Not saying that's the case in your situation of course (as I don't know your situation), I'm just referring to the opening post. 

Im interested in sex like I am interested in scuba diving, I want to see what its like and if I would like it or not. Would that make me lean more towards the allo side?

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DarkGloomSquid
On 3/6/2020 at 11:42 PM, Pan Ficto. said:

Ditto on this. I didn't feel that spark until I was like, 28, so it could even just be that it hasn't happened for the OP yet. 

 

@GatsbyGirl - aces come in all shapes and sizes anyway. There are heaps of aces here who write and read smut, who make sexual jokes etc (though usually they know they don't want sex).

 

Asexuality is a lack of a desire to connect sexually with others. Maybe you just haven't felt that spark yet, maybe you never will. But there is no one way to be asexual. You're not connecting to a certain type of vibe that some ace people have (not understanding sex jokes etc) but many aces are not like that at all.

So if I hit 50 without it can I stick to ace 😂 thats if the Apocalypse doesnt get to us first

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DarkGloomSquid
On 3/6/2020 at 10:41 PM, The Abhorred said:

Yes they might, but this doesn't necessary means that they would want to change you or lecture you for thinking otherwise. I have the opposite problem, how to live in a world where everyone wants to be in a relationship and how much it bothers them. I don't mind that, it's their thing but it is the real life and I feel excluded. This is a forum, you can log off. 

Can we switch places cause everyone around me is like "I wanna be alone foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr." I feel excluded lol

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Jade Cross
5 hours ago, GatsbyGirl said:

So if I hit 50 without it can I stick to ace 😂 thats if the Apocalypse doesnt get to us first

I understand this too well now. It's like:

 

-Find out you're ace: cool, now I don't need to worry about being "broken" or something being wrong with me, etc.

 

-Not feel as similar to other aces: I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding?

 

-Questions things done as it seems to aling more with allos: Ok wtf is going on here? Am I ace or not?

 

-Find out aces that react like allos despite still following the definition of asexuality: What...what's going on here....

 

-Find out allos who react like aces would: *nervous laugh*

 

-Find people who identified as ace until a specific circumstance triggered a change: *cocks gun* Ok here's how it's gonna work, we're gonna 1 bullet in, spin the barrel, squeeze the trigger and whatever idea blows my fucking head, that will be what I will identify as. Let the game begin

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Firefly8
On 3/6/2020 at 10:32 PM, WanderingKate said:

I think I know what you mean...although in some ways I relate really strongly to this community and I'm absolutely grateful to have it, there have been times I've felt like an outsider. 

Thinking on it...how you treat your sexual orientation is exactly how I treat my romantic orientation. I really, really don't want to be aromantic, but alas. I've always desired to have a stable life with a partner, and I've always been curious to the point of fascination with the idea of romantic love and the desire to feel it myself. However, no matter how hard I've tried in the past, I can never seem to force myself to care about dating, to daydream about romance, to actually want a romantic relationship enough to pursue it. I realized I like the idea/concept of romantic love, but in real life I couldn't care less. I've been on perfect romantic dates with wonderful people, stargazing and picnicking and cuddling and candlelit dinners, and although the idea of it was always appealing, the real thing was boring to me. And so when I've seen posts in the past of aromantics talking about how happy they are they don't have to deal with relationship drama and how lucky they are to be aro, I sometimes struggle to relate. 

 

 

I'm the exact same, but I consider myself aro and you're gray...? 

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WanderingKate
9 hours ago, Firefly8 said:

I'm the exact same, but I consider myself aro and you're gray...? 

I usually use the term gray or aro-spectrum, because while I don't experience romantic attraction, I do feel a divide between myself and other fully aromantic people at times. Although I don't desire romance, I do date and enjoy having a monogamous partner, which a lot of aromantics don't seem to want. And I do desire *some* romantically coded things, even if the majority of them I am indifferent or averse to. Basically what I'm getting at is that romantic attraction is so confusing to me I don't even know how to label myself...all I know is that on the scale of aromantic to romantic, I definitely fall closer to the aromantic side of things, by a long shot. 

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Nylocke

Heh I am asexual and a vegan. Bet you hate me with all your hate :'D

 

I can't relate to allosexuals since I am not sexually active. Most of them are a mere nuisance to me since they tend to be very patronizing when they find out how old I am. Guess we got something in common otherwise but yea its pretty rough out there for real !!

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Firefly8
47 minutes ago, WanderingKate said:

enjoy having a monogamous partner

I think this is the only difference for me. I've never had a partner or enjoyed dating. The fantasy is nice and kissing is nice, but lacking the romance factor it feels like work trying to please someone else all the time.

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The Abhorred
On 3/8/2020 at 12:00 AM, GatsbyGirl said:

Can we switch places cause everyone around me is like "I wanna be alone foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr." I feel excluded lol

If I could change something is not hearing this or that from the others but their attitude. The whole dating/finding a partner issue its actually a problem. Even one girl I know who has a new bf, she's always worries for this or that. Others say, yes we want to have that someone in our lives, but this won't happen because people have commitment issues or that they just looking for hook ups. It's too stressful and so not fun. 

You maybe thinking that, you not being able to feel attracted to someone is THE problem. But it might just be the first in a row of problems. Being around people with the right attitude, like yeah I'd like to be in a relationship but until then I'll have fun with my friends or even try to have nice time on my own. Will make everything, easier, no matter what happens in the end. I just want the stress to go away. Arghhh hate that

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Marlow1
On 3/7/2020 at 9:53 PM, GatsbyGirl said:

This was quiet interesting to read! 

I have met people with other conditions that say their conditions limit their ability to become attracted. Often with old fashioned dating and such some of these folk do eventually become attracted, like I did. A person cannot really know if they are Demisexual until they have had a long friendship, romantic relationship etc

 

Here are a few of the conditions I have come across where folk have said that either they never become attracted or it takes them a long time to become attracted etc

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia

 

And

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia

 

And

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social-emotional_agnosia

 

I think if a person had a mixture of the above with Aphantasia etc their ability to become attracted would be even more limited. Then of course there is the added factors of poor hearing, poor sight, language barriers and so on. All these things can play a role. This is one reason why I am an advocate for old fashion dating. It worked for my wife and I, both when we were young and when we were older after I had a brain hemhorrage and so on. Where there is a cultural thing to quickly become attracted and quickly move towards sex, that in itself can, for some, be too overwhelming. Not everybody is built that way, and far more people than you might think are not able to keep up with fast paced relationships. Taking the time to get to know each other has for many people proven to be the answer

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long nights

For a long time I read how other people whom identified themselves as asexual described their feelings and I definitely, most often than not, could not relate. I could relate to some of the basic stuff. But I don't have problems with sex in general, I actually find it very interesting in an intellectual way and I am not sex-repulsed. Many aces do have a very strong opinion on sex in a "sex sucks" type of way. And I never felt like that. But whatever, just feel what you feel. You don't have to respond like other people to identify as something. 

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Low End Things
On 3/6/2020 at 1:35 PM, GatsbyGirl said:

I dont have ace moments. I like making sexual jokes, I like writing smut, I like reading smut. I have no problems with sex.

I relate strongly to this. I did have that "I'm not alone" feeling of self-acceptance when I started hanging with other aces, and I love being around others aces still. Experience has shown me I'm definitely full-on asexual, no prefixes or anything. But I love talking about sex and it's connection to culture. I'm also very much sex-favorable (it's awesome with the right person), and love a good sex joke.

 

I'm lucky to live in a very large city, so I solved this by hosting meetups in such way as to cater to those that would also be ok with this, mainly in bars. So now I have my mini-ace-community-within-a-community where we talk and joke about all this stuff. If you were walking by us and overheard a part of our convo you wouldn't know we were ace at all.

 

I know you're just venting and it's good to get that out there! Just wanted to mention there are more of us out there than you might expect.

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Low End Things
Posted (edited)

Sorry double post!

Edited by Low End Things
double post

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Low End Things
22 hours ago, long nights said:

But I don't have problems with sex in general, I actually find it very interesting in an intellectual way

Same here, there's something incredibly fascinating about how people respond and react to it in the moment. For me, I need to be careful not to get to into my head in the moment or the moment dies, though...

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DarkGloomSquid
39 minutes ago, Low End Things said:

I know you're just venting and it's good to get that out there! Just wanted to mention there are more of us out than you might expect.

Thank you! :D

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Low End Things
Posted (edited)
On 3/7/2020 at 4:54 PM, GatsbyGirl said:

Im interested in sex like I am interested in scuba diving, I want to see what its like and if I would like it or not. Would that make me lean more towards the allo side?

I noticed this wasn't answered so I'm gonna give it a go based on my experiences. In a nutshell your motivation matters here and what makes it like swimming through muddy water, for multiple reasons.

 

For me it was the same: there's this thing that most people in the world enjoy and innately want but I don't. Why is that? And what makes the thing so special? I'm the kind of person that has to dive into something headfirst and see how I react to it before I can definitively say how I feel about it. Because of this, I'd say I'm still asexual (and so are you possibly, although using that label is up to you) because I'm not having sex because of attraction to a person but rather to satiate my curiosity while sharing an intimate experience with someone I deeply care for. 

 

But, you have to be very clear about this with your partner(s). For most people in the world happily having sex, it's tied to love. And the average person isn't gonna want to hear, "I'm only having sex with you to STIMULATE MY MIND." So be direct about this with whomever you end up with and hopefully you're trying this with someone you care for and who also cares for you. At least here in the U.S. we as a people seem to suck at talking about what we want when it comes to sex despite all the knowledge around us so you also have that going against you. For me, I've been lucky to have met women who are ok with this once I make it clear that I really am attracted to them despite not caring about getting into their pants. This came after trying many other ways to meet people, though, and after spending a LONG time understanding and coming to terms with my personal type of asexuality. 

 

Hope this doesn't come off as too pedantic, I tend to do that with this stuff. Feel free to ask away if you're curious about this. I've also found the Sex Talk forums on here to be very helpful with understanding this.

Edited by Low End Things

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Howard

Here is my two cents. I like orgasms. I'm not attracted to do it with other people, but it was expected of me to do with someone when I was in a relationship with someone.

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AceWing
On 3/6/2020 at 1:35 PM, GatsbyGirl said:

So for those who do know I just loath being ace. I dont have ace moments. I like making sexual jokes, I like writing smut, I like reading smut. I have no problems with sex. I wanna try it one day. 

See, I was thinking over this exact thing. I can't relate to your examples, but you don't need to relate to me or other asexuals in the ways that might be defined by our very own community. You know, the same one that wants to claim diversity, but wants to make a claim to the humor of an entire community because hey no one speaks for us let me speak for us.

 

In fact, I'd say that's a huge problem with the community. I think it comes from the fact that out of all orientations, we're super uncommon, so with our limited numbers comes our inside jokes. Because we're uncommon, we begin to build our identities around being ace and the lines between the inside jokes and general experiences becomes so blurred that we forget about variations of asexual's personality traits. From this, we become pretentious and all like, "ew, sexual people really like to do the boogie-woogie, hahaha. Sex books don't even interest me, that's how warded I am against this black magic."

 

We often forget to tell other aces or people that asexuality isn't defined by "lol cake garlic bread XD" or other memes. We pretend that other ace opinions and feelings matter, but for god's sake, we welcome people with normie ace memes here instead of being normal. When did we weave our identity in with our jokes? Asexuality is about not feeling sexual attraction and that's it. Relating to other asexuals doesn't matter and cramming meme cultures into an orientation just makes people like you feel even more alone. Relate to people who are like you and who value you as a person.

 

The black magic thing was a real comment I've seen. That's just only one example of how these memes and the feeling of being an "exclusive member" of the asexual community breeds other forms of hatred that we'll just be okay with because sexual people bad, asexual and garlic cake good. This has been going on for longer than I started identifying as asexual. I'm 23 now, if you're curious. I've been identifying as asexual since 15. I want you to think about how complacent we've been about our state of superiority over sexual people and antisexuality. We claim to be fighting against it, but I don't see the effort. It's still pretty rampant. The arrogance, pseudo-philosophy and pretentiousness is still palpable.

On 3/6/2020 at 1:35 PM, GatsbyGirl said:

 

...but ace people... I dont know sometimes they remind me of vegans and I cant really handle vegans. Bring me down for not being ace enough.

Welcome to my experience. For the reasons listed above and many more, I find myself not liking too many ace people. It's a tragedy because I would sincerely love ace friends, but I just don't have them. I won't bring you down, of course, but watch out for the normies. They just might.

On 3/6/2020 at 1:35 PM, GatsbyGirl said:

And Im just irrtated with being ace. I have enough problems as it is and this is just added to my list of things I dont want or wanna deal with.

Do you not like the baggage of being ace yourself or do you not like the community?

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

But all in all, I can tell you that while you may certainly be in the minority of ace opinions and memery, you are in no way alone. I am upset and sick of seeing the ace community fall in such a way. Remember that the fact that you don't feel sexual attraction is what makes you ace. Enjoy the smut books and your own sex jokes all you want. Don't let covertly malicious memification falter your own personal sense on your identity.

 

Take care.

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naakka

@AceWing

I'm not saying things you described didn't happen in the community. But my experience since entering here is, that our community does a good job at preventing black-and-white opinions and elitism attitudes. Sure you see a lot of stereotypical stuff... but couldn't it just indicate that a lot of people actually relate to that stuff? Isn't it the actual purpose of the community?

 

Yet, there's people who aren't "average ace", and I've seen nowhere here people claiming, that these people weren't welcomed (allo experiences have been welcomed as well). The fact that you hear their opinion less (since there's less of them), doesn't mean they were silenced. I for example have said it's important to hear about ace people who do prefer sexual intercourse, and no-one has opposed me.

 

But as with every minority, the majority don't have your experience, so they can't really speak for you. Only you can increase the visibility of people like you, by letting others know your experiences. It's your choice to accommodate the stereotypes or tell your own story. No-one forces you. I'm sure that if you do tell your own story, even more people with the same experience will speak up. Imo, that's way more constructive conversation than complaining how you don't see the kind of people you wanted to see here.

 

Or maybe I just haven't been here long enough to see what this community really is like?

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DarkGloomSquid

@AceWing the "I am higher then thou" attitude in this community is sooooo irritating. We should be respectful but then aces act like they the new gods. 

*busy summoning a demon* Oops 

 

1 hour ago, AceWing said:

Do you not like the baggage of being ace yourself or do you not like the community?

The whole baggage of being ace. If I could I would be allo and be on my happy merry way.

 I only started disliking the community recently. 

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naakka
1 minute ago, GatsbyGirl said:

@AceWing the "I am higher then thou" attitude in this community is sooooo irritating. We should be respectful but then aces act like they the new gods. 

*busy summoning a demon* Oops 

 

The whole baggage of being ace. If I could I would be allo and be on my happy merry way.

 I only started disliking the community recently. 

I think I'm blind to that attitude since I haven't noticed it here. Maybe I have contributed to it myself, without noticing? Can you give practical examples where you feel like this?

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