MBB Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 I never realized she could be asexual, I always thought the reason she wasn’t interested is because of me and her not being attracted to me anymore. she doesn’t have any desire to have sex with me we fight about it a lot she says all the time. Why does everything revolve around sex i feel ashamed to watch porn or masterbate. She makes it feel like all of those things are wrong and disgusting Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Was she every actively interested in sex in the past, and if so, when did it change? Link to post Share on other sites
Marlow1 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 @CBC is correct here. Relationship Therapist can and do have a lot of success helping couples with the kind of problems you are describing. I would consider this if I was you 👍 Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 you should be no more ashamed of your sexuality than she should be of hers Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Maybe she likes you for the other 95% of things you do together? Please... go seek help together Link to post Share on other sites
Sincerity Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 I agree with looking into couples therapy. I will say this though, you shouldn't feel ashamed about porn, or in the very least, masturbating. That is something you should be able to do for you, and she should not see it as disgusting or a threat to your relationship. You should tell her how hard it is for you, and express that you feel that is something you need, but that you are still committed to and love her. Also don't let any belief systems she has, let you feel ashamed. It's perfectly normal and okay. As far as sex in general, I feel like a deeper talk is required there. Link to post Share on other sites
cupid69 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 If I were you and you can still live your lives together, excluding the sex issue, I would concentrate more on doing things YOU want to do. Sex is a big distraction anyway and even worse if you have been doing it with a partner who doesn't want it. Lets be clear on this though. YOU will be the one who is doing the compromise in this situation. Make this clear to her too and see what compromises she will make to balance the situation. Don't waste your money on therapists as they will never solve your problem. They will be happy to take your money though. Link to post Share on other sites
Memento1 Posted March 15, 2020 Share Posted March 15, 2020 Let's be frank: all therapists are not equal. There are those who will make things worse instead of better, and those who frankly won't make much difference at all. There's also great therapists who can help tremendously. If you don't click with your therapist, or they don't make an effort to meet you where you're at, look elsewhere. I had to go through several before finding a good one, but that good one made a big impact. Link to post Share on other sites
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