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Leadership?


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Leader?  

35 members have voted

  1. 1. Are you a leader?

    • Yes
      6
    • No
      22
    • In my head
      7
  2. 2. Do you want to be a leader?

    • Yes
      9
    • No
      26


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Hola. 

 

So I was wondering... through out junior high to high school I have been forced into leadership camps to leadership lectures... repeatedly and never ending.

 

But I dont see myself as a leader, I can work with a leader and help plan but in all honesty in front of people... nobody listens... like seriously I could be yelling and they would look over my existence... which has happened several times... sigh but I can plan though lol. 

 

I mean if need be I can take a leadership role but why the hell is school sooo obsessed with it. Team building is one thing but flippn "be the leader you were born to be!" 

No thank you. 

 

I just dont understand society demand that we all need to be leaders. Ive seen things turn real ugly for everyone fighting to be leader. 

 

I just really dont get the need for millions of leaders? Doesnt it just cause more problems to force people into those roles? Why not let the naturals take over?

 

I am a go with the flow person just so ya'll know Im a chilled beaver who just doesnt get it XD 

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I participated in a course about groups, and one part of it was about leadership, authority, etc. And I was thinking about the same things. One of the major tasks was that we were divided into a group of 10-ish persons with two teachers, went into a room and sat down in a circle. Before going there they had told us the objective was to discuss the importance of authority or something like that. Then nothing happened, everybody was silent until someone decided to become the leader of the group (the two teachers just sat there). 

 

But, further along the course the teachers seemed to want people to challenge the leader, and I remember them pushing me to do it. And I was like, why. Sure, I am a leader type, but in that particular setting I didn't see the point of any of us "challenging" the "leader".  We had all basically passed the course just by showing up, and we all wanted to "solve" the task at hands, so why enter into a competition about the leadership?

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Cheshire-Cat

I'm in a more management position in one of my hobbies but it's more management than leadership. I've applied for a management position at work multiple times but I've never been successful as I'm rubbish at interviews.

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Not an easy question.   I don't like the responsibility of being a leader, but feel that I should lead if I'm convinced that other leaders are making decisions that are causing harm. 

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I don't mind handling my own things, but being in charge is not something I want. I'm not smart enough. I'm not confident. I don't want the responsibility of other people. I'm happier not doing that.

 

That doesn't mean I like being led, though.

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No. I don’t like being bossed around by other people either. I’d rather just do my own thing and let everyone else do their own thing.

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I know what I am not. I'm no leader. I speak with a voice that will never move others. I speak with a passion that goes unheard. I hear the voices of others when they speak with an actual leader and I notice the change when they speak to me. But that's OK because I don't even want to lead others, especially not if they didn't agree to follow. Even if I was a leader I would only lead those who chose to follow. For me, this makes the difference of being a leader and a tyrant.

 

 

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Anthracite_Impreza

I always end up delegating if no one else does, does that count?

 

In an ideal world I want to be second in command - high enough to get the perks, but not all the blame when the regime goes tits up ;)

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Chocolatastic AroAce

I'm over being in charge of anything. It's overrated....You get blamed for everyone else's mistakes, even though it's not your fault they don't do what their told. Not even really a leader this is just coming from being 'experienced' in the work place. I'm suppose to know better and apparently magically correct everyone else's mistakes and shortcomings.

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Grumpy Alien

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I'm not born leader material and I don't really enjoy it. But if everyone else in the group does not care I sometimes end up in charge of things. Being the big boss is not the best position for me. It is quite lonely on the top of the pyramid while I like having some advice coming either from peers or from above.

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I'm not a leader. I'm a follower through and through. I always thought it was because of my birth order (youngest as well as a twin), or because I was always moving around as a kid, or because of my social anxiety. Maybe it's none of these things and maybe it's all, but I hate being forced to take the lead at something. 

 

Spoiler

Funny story (for me anyway). Once, my boss took me and my coworkers out to a fancy restaurant for dinner (there was like 6 of us employees). She ordered crab cakes and told us to take some and everyone just stared, waiting for someone else to move first. Annoyed with the awkwardness, I just reached out and grabbed one. My coworker laughed and said that wasn't the way you're supposed to grab them and used tongs to take one for himself. Then everyone else took one and began nibbling at the strange food. 

A minute later my other coworker speaks up: "Aren't you vegetarian? Can you eat that?"

Me: "No."

 

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Surprised at the poll result so far. Thought more people would be leaders?

But leading is different than being assertive and having free thought.

 

I know how to lead, and was a leader in the military and in some work groups. But am not a leader. I prefer to be a manager or an assistant, or a number "two"/ a "Robin to Batman".  It is just more me than being in charge and making command decisions.

I don't like public speaking but informal groups and informal training I am great.

 

People I know in the BDSM/Kink community (which i am not a member of) say I give off a submissive vibe?

 

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AceMissBehaving

I find myself in leadership positions pretty often. If it’s something I have strong feelings about I’m happy to lead, and will gladly take the reins, but I do need people to be somewhat self sufficient   
 

I do get tired of ending up the leader of certain projects through default because others drop their responsibilities and take for granted I’ll pick up their slack. 

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Being a leader may require a certain lack of empathy. 

 

There is a guy who works for me, fairly recent hire.  He is trying hard, but really isn't quite up do doing the job I hired him to do, and I'm having a very difficult time finding something he can do in my organization.   OK, sounds simple - except I also know that his wife just had a baby, and his job is their only source of income.  In some basic "management" sense, firing him is the logical, correct thing to do.   I just don't think I can do it. 

 

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That's not good leadership though. That's 100% pure 20th century capitalism, leadership is more than numbers in a bank account.

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Am told am a natural leader. I don't think you ask to be a leader. 

 

People have always followed me all my life. I never knew why. I have even had teachers and adults ask me for advice o_O

 

I am a rebel by nature, and walk to the beat of my own drum. This actually was a hamper to my leadership potential. Am incredibly stubborn. Mind you my self awareness definitely helped, as I could quickly isolate issues with myself and don't bat an eyelid at calling myself out. 

 

I had to learn how to lead, and you realize its a neverending journey. 

 

I naturally love helping others, and was told that was my strongest leadership asset. I just never knew this was seen as leadership. Serving others is one of your most powerful leadership skills. You serve others, and they instinctively will go to war for you. 

 

I always saw leaders as that bossy person at the top who just told people what to do.

 

But then worked for one, and was humbled. They were incredibly humble, and had open ears and always took care of their people first. 

 

They were stuck on improvement and growth. But wanted to hire leaders and groom them. 

 

My biggest weakness as a leader was that I hated delegating. If I could do it myself, I just would. 

 

Once I learned the art of delegation, I was well on my way. 

 

You then realized the importance of delegation, as putting everything on your shoulders to where you never had time to help others was a piss poor strategy. The achille's heel of my altruism. 

 

The best advice I got was from a business partner.

 

"Think of someone who annoys you. Think of 3 things they do better than you".

 

"Never underestimate the value of another"

 

The art of humbling one self and keeping your ego in check. Also that a leader can mould gold out of charcoal, in getting the best out of others and knowing what buttons to push.

 

The true leader will be the most humble in the pack, regardless of feats. 

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Lord Jade Cross

I don't wish to lead So long as I'm just left to my own things, that's all I ask

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14 minutes ago, Moonman said:

But if a person's ineptitude is having an impact on the other staff, then do you have much choice? 

 

My place hired somebody once that was completely useless. They were not self-motivated or interested in the role they had been hired for. They struggled with the training. They were annoying and dislikeable. It got so bad that other staff members started having to find things for them to do that involved leaving the office. Really, my company had no choice but to get rid of them so they were fired.

Well, "ineptitude" sounds very final. First step (for me) would be to talk to said person, find out what they'd be suited for, maybe find on-the-job training for them to help them do the thing they were hired to do, if it's not possible to find a better-fitting spot within the organization. If they're willing to do the job and willing to improve, if they need the job to support their family, it's basic human decency to support them. Anything that runs against that can, by my own personal definition, not be considered good leadership. (Unpopular opinion, probably, but hey.)

 

If, on the other hand, one is dealing with a person who is not (merely) bad at their job but not willing to improve or even try, that's a different story altogether. Give as you get, I guess.

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17 minutes ago, weird elf said:

Well, "ineptitude" sounds very final. First step (for me) would be to talk to said person, find out what they'd be suited for, maybe find on-the-job training for them to help them do the thing they were hired to do, if it's not possible to find a better-fitting spot within the organization. If they're willing to do the job and willing to improve, if they need the job to support their family, it's basic human decency to support them. Anything that runs against that can, by my own personal definition, not be considered good leadership. (Unpopular opinion, probably, but hey.)

 

If, on the other hand, one is dealing with a person who is not (merely) bad at their job but not willing to improve or even try, that's a different story altogether. Give as you get, I guess.

In the past I've always found some way that people could be productive in our group - I don't give up easily.  Still, it could come up .

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On 3/3/2020 at 12:36 AM, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I always end up delegating if no one else does, does that count?

 

In an ideal world I want to be second in command - high enough to get the perks, but not all the blame when the regime goes tits up ;)

Thats the dream

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On 3/3/2020 at 2:03 AM, Chef Remy said:

Surprised at the poll result so far. Thought more people would be leaders?

But leading is different than being assertive and having free thought

I think that media all types like to shove 'leaders' down our throats from heroes to the chosen ones who will lead the way to the light and blah blah. I dont think they get the difference between being a boss to yourself and a leader to others.

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GatsbyGirl

I agree. Think people get being; a manager, someone people like or like ability,  famous and celebrity, someone who is dominate, knowledge and intelligence, or even a “boss” confused with leadership. They can related but are different.

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Alawyn-Aebt

I admit I often find myself in leadership positions. Group projects in school, even when choosing a leader was not needed always resulted in me effectively becoming the leader. In my mind I am not a leader but somehow I end up being a leader and I love it. I do not like delegating responsibility so when I am a leader I can take on the tasks I do not want to risk delegating while giving away tasks of lesser importance. If there are people I can trust to do the necessary tasks I have no problem delegating authority to them. I love being in control and detest a lack of control. The best way to ensure that the tasks are getting done is to establish control yourself.

 

I am not a person to follow along. When something is illogical, ridiculous, uncalled for, or downright dumb (or just not the best way which conveniently is usually my way) I always speak up against the action. I am somehow really good at knowing when to be brutally honest and knowing when to lie to maintain diplomacy. I hate any recognition or trappings of leadership. Ideally I would be a second-in-command as long as I am given a long leash. Give me the power to achieve what I want to on my terms and someone else can take the fame, fortune, and trappings of power. (I realize how evil that sounds: give me the power my way and you get everything else, but don't read it like that)

 

I do not force anyone to do something, but I try to shift the incentives so it is better for people to work with me than against me. In group projects in college I tended to be the de facto leader but despite the rough edges to my personality and admittedly my sometimes-bossiness, other students always wanted to be grouped with me because my group was the group that had fun and got good grades. It was weird, everyone in the class knew the names of everyone in my group but we didn't know the names of other groups. Had I scared away all the students my leadership would have failed, but instead nearly everyone wanted to join us.

 

I do agree that people overstate leadership. If people want to be a leader that is fine but many don't. Also I'm not sure if training to be a leader is super effective. I know people who love to think of themselves as leaders and who went to leadership training yet struggle to actually implement their leadership. The growth of a position of leadership often occurs so informally that formal leadership training is ineffective. The circumstances of leadership are always different and change as time progresses, meaning leadership is never a set series of steps.

 

tl;dr: Somehow usually end up as a leader and I love it even though I hate a lot of the parts of leadership.

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On 3/2/2020 at 4:21 PM, GatsbyGirl said:

I just really dont get the need for millions of leaders? Doesnt it just cause more problems to force people into those roles? Why not let the naturals take over?

Leaderships courses, books, speeches and such are simply products that respond to a demand. Not all products correspond to a need but if there is a demand for it, someone will produce it and sell it. Take for example pet rocks. Do you actualy need one? Can you bond with a rock like you bond with a dog or a cat? I think not. Yet, they sold. It's a similar situation with leadership products. There is much more available than needed, but people buy into it. So they produce more than necessary because people buy such things. A lot of people want to be leaders or want their children to be leaders, much more than what is needed.

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  • 2 months later...
GingerRose

My personality test says I am a leader so I'm just going to take it and run...

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 3/2/2020 at 9:21 PM, DarkGloomSquid said:

I just dont understand society demand that we all need to be leaders. Ive seen things turn real ugly for everyone fighting to be leader. 

 

I just really dont get the need for millions of leaders? Doesnt it just cause more problems to force people into those roles? Why not let the naturals take over?

I find this very weird indeed. I don't think putting people into one bag is very effective. I personally always felt like I was born a leader. My belief of what leadership is supposed to be is best described by Max de Pree:

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.


I think that everyone has different talents and the job of a leader is their optimal exploitation. Finding these in people and allocating them to appropriate tasks is something I like to believe I am good at. I'm not really the stereotypical charismatic type, however. I'm more of a strategist, who has a vision and a plan, and would rather direct people "from the shadows". Daodejing says it best: 

 The Master doesn't talk, he acts. When his work is done, the people say, "Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!"

 

I'm bad at direct leadership. I used to work as a low level manager and I didn't enjoy that in the slightest. First of all, I'm an introvert and I don't like talking to people most of the time. I'm also rather bad at making people understand what I say. For that I like to have an assistant leader who deals with all the social crap. In my current volunteering project I have a person like this and the cooperation is just great. But in the professional setting I'm done with leadership, it's just not for me after all. I'm a problem solver and there are more suited roles for that than management.

 

So do we all need to be leaders? Certainly not.

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