AnneBonny159 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 So music is a hugely important to me, and I'm always on the lookout for new music! I genuinely believe music can save you, it can change your life; it's certainly changed mine. Recently I've been looking for songs that I can relate to my asexual experience. Because I find music helps me work through things: it makes me feel less alone, and hearing someone put the things I'm feeling into far more eloquent words than I could ever express, set to music, is hugely cathartic. Obviously, asexuality isn't exactly something that many songs are written about, sadly. But I've managed to find a few that I feel... fit. Anyone else got any other suggestions? Here are mine: Candles by Daughter "I'll do whatever you say to me in the dark // Blow out all the candles now - 'you're too old to be so shy,' he says to me so I stay the night." Think of England by Bear's Den "Do you lie back and think of England, with fireworks flashing? And learn to feign your feelings..." "All those fires that died in our bedroom, I was out fetching wood. You know I tried my best to love you..." (This one is particularly sad because I imagine this is exactly how my allosexual partner feels...) Keep Yourself Warm by Frightened Rabbit "It takes more than fucking someone you don't know, to keep warm// And you won't find love in a, won't find love in a hole - it takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm." Plus two more slightly less bleak outlooks... This Is Me by Keala Settle "I am brave, I am bruisedI am who I'm meant to be, this is meLook out 'cause here I comeAnd I'm marching on to the beat I drumI'm not scared to be seenI make no apologies, this is me" Brave by Sara Bareilles "Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you liveMaybe one of these days you can let the light inShow me how big your brave is Say what you wanna sayAnd let the words fall outHonestly I wanna see you be brave// Innocence, your history of silence won't do you any good - did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty - why don't you tell them the truth?" Feel free to add any more - lyrics, what the songs mean to you, experiences/memories you associate with them, etc! 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KathyHoh Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 It's My Life Bon Jovi This ain't a song for the broken-heartedNo silent prayer for the faith-departedI ain't gonna be just a face in the crowdYou're gonna hear my voiceWhen I shout it out loud It's my lifeIt's now or neverI ain't gonna live foreverI just want to live while I'm alive(It's my life)My heart is like an open highwayLike Frankie saidI did it my wayI just want to live while I'm aliveIt's my life This is for the ones who stood their groundIt's for Tommy and Gina who never backed downTomorrow's getting harder, make no mistakeLuck ain't enoughYou've got to make your own breaks It's my lifeAnd it's now or neverI ain't gonna live foreverI just want to live while I'm alive(It's my life)My heart is like an open highwayLike Frankie saidI did it my wayI just want… 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 Unloveable by Babybird is one of my favorites I've triedAnd you've triedYou've criedAnd I've criedI've liedAnd you've liedTogether we've diedBut sometimesSometimes it gotta stop I'm cold when you're coldI'm warm when you're warmWe were friendsWe're still friendsThat's allThat's allThat's all You can't love meI'm unloveableBut baby you could tryIt's all good, it's not badIt's all smiles, it's not sadThere's just time to stop loveLove's gone, move onLife's long You can't love meI'm unloveableBut baby you could trySha laSha la la la la la la laSha la laSha la Love's so sweet it suffocates usLike a sickly kindly gagAnd we're floating down the sewer pipeLike kittens in a bagAnd the mirror screams to both of usThat we are not aloneThen the metaphors explodeAnd suddenly we're home You can't love meI'm unloveableBut baby you could tryI can't love youYou're so loveableBut baby let me try You can't love meI'm unloveableBut baby you could tryI can't love youYou're so loveableBut baby let me try Splendid Isolation by Warren Zevon Splendid Isolation I don't need no one Splendid Isolation Don't want to wake up with no one beside me Don't want to take up with nobody new Don't want nobody coming by without calling first Don't want nothing to do with you The Girl with the Pre-Fabricated Heart by The Real Tuesday Weld Her Amazon sisters were passing that wayThey rushed to her aid and they saved the dayThe swine! He has frightened her out of her witsThe brute! We should shoot him and tear him into bits Wheels started turning inside her headSo from his ardent arms she fledGirls of wax can't use devotionThey might melt if they felt an emotion She left him bereft and wifelessAnd he fell to the ground, quite lifeless But she rides on into the dawnOn and on as her wheels revolveA riddle whose answer none can solveWho sends all her dreams to the laundryWho prefers to live in a quandaryHer loneliness she must insist onShe's Isolde without a TristanHer groom who for doom was slatedDissolved into tears and disintegrated And so she rides on through the eveningAs pure as she was at the startFor there's no man alive who could ever surviveA girl with a prefabricated heartA love-proof, unbreakable heart Nowhere Man by The Beatles He's a real nowhere man Sitting in his nowhere land Making all his nowhere plans for nobody We Don't Want Your Body by Stars You're tuned into my frequency That don't mean a thing to me 'Cause I don't want your body I don't want your body You sold me some cheap ecstasy So you could have some sex with me I don't want your body I don't want your body 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 This is all defined in terms of the other, isn't it? "I don't want this: it excludes me, it makes me feel angry or isolated or sad. And hitherto I have internalised all this. But now I don't want to do this any more. So I'm not going to. Or am I? " Play and repeat. "I wear black on the outside 'cause black is how I feel on the inside." And that' s it. The End. Or is it?? What next??? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ben8884 Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 I forget who does it but "we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time." 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 19 hours ago, ben8884 said: I forget who does it but "we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time." We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart - Frantic Romantic - 1986 Great song that doesn’t feel sexual to me Not a word, from your lipsYou just took for granted that I want to skinny dip.A quick hit, that's your game.But I'm not a piece of meat, stimulate my brain, no.The night is young, so are we.Let's just get to know each other, slow and easily, oh.Take my hand, let's hit the floor.Shake our bodies to the music.Maybe then you'll score. So come on baby, won't you show some classWhy do you have to move so fast?We don't have to take our clothes offTo have a good timeOh noWe could dance and party all nightAnd drink some cherry wine, oh Just slow down if you want meA man wants to be approached cool and romantically, oh ohI've got needs, uhJust like youAnd if the conversation's goodVibrations through and through, oh So come on baby, won't you show some classWhy do you have to move so fast?We don't have to take our clothes offTo have a good timeOh noWe could dance and party all nightAnd drink some cherry wine, oh oh And we don't have to take our clothes offTo have a good timeOh ohWe could dance and party all nightAnd drink some cherry wine, oh hey Hey heyOh, heyOhWe don't have to take our clothes off, noTo have a good timeOh ohAnd we could dance and party all night, ohAnd drink some cherry wine, oh We don't have to take our clothes off, noTo have a good timeOh ohWe could dance and party all nightAnd drink some cherry wine, oh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DarkStormyKnight Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 hell yeah 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Atlantis Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 The singer's talking to his siblings, but when I listened to it for the first time I thought it could work for found family as well (if the "blood is thicker" part isn't taken literally), and focuses on more emotional connections than physical ones Hey Brother by Avicii Hey brother! There's an endless road to rediscover Hey sister! Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do Hey brother! Do you still believe in one another? Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do What if I'm far from home? Oh brother, I will hear you call What if I lose it all? Oh sister, I will help you out Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do Hey brother! There's an endless road to rediscover Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do What if I'm far from home? Oh brother, I will hear you call What if I lose it all? Oh sister, I will help you out Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
naakka Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 What you know by Two door cinema club In a few weeks I will get time To realize it's right before my eyes And I can take it if it's what I want to do I am leaving This is starting to feel like It's right before my eyes And I can taste it It's my sweet beginning And I can tell just what you want You don't want to be alone You don't want to be alone And I can't say it's what you know But you've known it the whole time Yeah, you've known it the whole time Maybe next year I'll have no time To think about the questions to address Am I the one to try to stop the fire? I wouldn't test you I'm not the best you could have attained Why try anything? I will get there Just remember I know And I can tell just what you want You don't want to be alone You don't want to be alone And I can't say it's what you know But you've known it the whole time Yeah, you've known it the whole time And I can tell just what you want You don't want to be alone You don't want to be alone And I can't say it's what you know But you've known it the whole time Yeah, you've known it the whole time I think they meant the song to be about promiscious/uncommitted lifestyle, and the video hints about lesbian/bisexual. But I never imagined it to be related to sex life (surprise), but felt strongly vibes from the era when I still didn't know I'm aroace but kinda anticipated that dating is never going to be what I wanted even if I had the perfect chance to start right now. It was always "maybe next year". And also felt strongly the "I'm not the best you could have attained" part, I felt like I was misleading good-willing people. It's kinda bittersweet song to me. Free by Elliott Yamin [Verse 1]Now that fear is out of the way I'm starting to see myself so clear Like a light shining into the night Everybody has a day When they're criticized for something But hold on to what you believe [Bridge]Tell me what you're hiding from Everybody's on the run Movin' so fast got to slow it down and breathe Hold fast to your dreams And don't be afraid to fly Alone in the sky When you do then [Chorus]You'll be free Nothing's impossible Free (alright,alright) You've achieved the unexplainable Free I believe that miracles Happen to those Who refuse to be told They can happen when we least expect So we let ourselves be free Mmmmm Mmm [Verse 2]Every chance that we take Is one less mistake we can make Sometimes are blessings are in disguise Look beyond what they say It don't really matter what they see As long as you can believe [Bridge]Tell me what you're hiding from Everybody's on the run Moving so fast got to slow it down and breathe Hold fast to your dreams And don't be afraid to fly Alone in the sky When you do then [Chorus]You'll be free Nothing's impossible Free (alright, alright) You've achieved the unexplainable Free I believe that miracles Happen to those Who refuse to be told They can happen when we least expect So we let ourselves be free Oh oh [Hook]It's difficult to hold on So easy to let go And take the road that's least resistant But you gotta be persistent (I) lead and never follow (I) don't wait for tomorrow (I) got to do it today Yeah [Chorus]Free Nothing's impossible Free (alright, alright) You've achieved the unexplainable Free I believe that miracles Happen to those Who refuse to be told They can happen when we least expect So we let ourselves be free Oh yeah Oh yeah Mmmm I felt this song strongly after I found out I'm ace and began to feel more free of expectations and social pressure. How soon is now by The Smiths I am the son And the heir Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I am the son and heir Of nothing in particular You shut your mouth How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does I am the son And the heir Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I am the son and heir Of nothing in particular You shut your mouth How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does There's a club if you'd like to go You could meet somebody who really loves you So you go and you stand on your own And you leave on your own And you go home and you cry And you want to die When you say it's gonna happen "now" When exactly do you mean? See I've already waited too long And all my hope is gone You shut your mouth How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does I used to listen to the T.a.t.u. version of this song as a teen, and it just felt especially close to me, the implication that you need to be loved but don't want to be loved the way people want to love you. Way later I found the original (amazing) version by the Smiths and learnt that the singer Morrissey could actually be asexual himself. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 "Oh you forward man! - not in front of baby!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nanju Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 Turning Out by AJR is a real aromantic/asexual mood. Not knowing if there's supposed to be a difference between friendship and romance? M O O D 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
not_all_who_wander Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 You guys need to check out "God Help the Girl" (just the song, the movie not so much): There is no way I'm looking for a boyfriendThere is no way I'm looking for a sceneI need to save some doughI'm a working girl, you knowI'll fend attention off I keep to myself I love my room, I'm getting used to sleepingSome nights I really like to lie awakeI hear the midnight birdsThe message in their wordsThe dawn will touch me in a way a boy could never touchTheir promise never meant so much to me You have been warned, I'm born to be contraryBackward at school, I wrote from right to leftTeacher never cared for mePreacher said a prayer for meGod help the girl, she needs all the help she can get There's a second half too that I'm not going to paste in just for the sake of not taking up the whole forum. But to me the first half is more aro ace and the second half feels kind of demirom ace? Anyway I really love this song. It's upbeat and full of a lot of beautiful optimism. And I like how it's all "God help the girl" but really it's everyone else who has a problem. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Karo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Maybe its more towards aromantic, but the song 'Never been in Love' by Will Jay includes lines like: 'I'm not missing out so don't ask me again' 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LegolasAroAce Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Different Drum by The Stone Ponies is one I really relate to. Even though it wasn’t meant to be aro/ace, I feel like it could apply through that filter. You and I travel to the beat of a diff'rent drumOh, can't you tell by the way I runEvery time you make eyes at me Wo ohYou cry and moan and say it will work outBut honey child I've got my doubtsYou can't see the forest for the trees So, don't get me wrong It's not that I knock itIt's just that I’m not in the marketFor a boy who wants to love only meYes, and I ain't sayin' you ain't prettyAll I'm sayin's I'm not ready for any personPlace or thing to try and pull the reins in on meSo Goodbye, I'll be leavin'I see no sense in the cryin' and grievin'We'll both live a lot longer if you live without me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dwgreatpond Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 On 3/10/2020 at 7:03 PM, Nanju said: Turning Out by AJR is a real aromantic/asexual mood. Not knowing if there's supposed to be a difference between friendship and romance? M O O D I agree. Both parts 1 and 2 give real Aro/ace vibes. Am I ready for love? Or maybe just a best friend Should there be a difference I think I probably wasn't in love with you I think I probably loved the idea of you The 'loved the idea of you' lines in part 2 was pretty much exactly how I felt when I figured out I was Aro. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rhyn Corinn Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 I really relate to I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik. How can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same I like those lines especially because for so long, I thought everyone was like me. Asexuality wasn't (in my perspective) a part of me, it was just the way I saw the world. So why should I have to be the one to change, when no one else does? Why should my feelings be any less real than anyone else's? I also really like the line at the start: I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard This describes so much how it feels when I see that the world doesn't understand me. And that's the way it seems to be with asexuals; so many people simply don't understand us. Even if they're completely well-meaning, some still can't comprehend how a person could simply not want sex. So they will always see us as a question, one that doesn't have an answer. @AnneBonny159 I also love This Is Me! It makes me wish I was more open about being ace irl... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ciki Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 I really relate to "Mortals and Fools" from the DN musical.It pretty much summs up how i feel about love and sex in general. The song is between a God and a mortal but it feels like it's between an aro and a "regular" person. Ok,so in this song Rem would be me (an aro ace) and Misa would be the "regular" person. Anyway,here are the lyrics: [Rem: Verse 1]What I see in your eyes Is a counterfeit emotion Nearly true, pretty lies Promise all you're dreaming ofLike a frog in a wellWho is sure he's in the oceanYou believe in the spell Of this thing that you call love[Chorus]Try as I will, I just don't understand it Love is for mortals and fools Never turns out quite the way that you planned it So why do you break all the rules?[Verse 2: Misa]What I feel is so realThat it sets my poor heart racingSomething you'll never knowThough you live a thousand years[Rem]Half a lifeIs the deal to discover who you're chasingHalf a life [Misa]Even so, worth it all if he appears[Rem, Misa: Chorus]Try as you might, you will not understand it [Rem]Love is for mortals and fools [Rem, Misa]Never turns out quite the way that you planned it [Misa]Love makes you break all the rules[Misa: Bridge]Love can make you come alive[Rem]Or take your life awayLove should make you leave[Misa]But makes you stayFor love can make you happyIn a house where love is made[Rem]Then it makes you wary and afraid [Rem: Chorus]Try as I might, never will understand itLove is for mortals and foolsNever turns out quite the way that you planned it[Misa]Love is for making[Rem]Life is for taking[Rem, Misa]Love makes you break all the rulesLove makes you break all the rules I honestly recommend you give it a listen.The vocals are amazing,the music is amazing.Everything about this song is amazing. You don't even have to see the musical,just listen to this one song. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ella Joy Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 “It’s So Weird” by Juliana Hatfield! I think it’s been said before that her songs have a lot of ace-ish themes. This one may be more aromantic than asexual, not sure, but it resonates with me anyway. My brother asked me where do you go for loveIf you're all aloneDon't you need romanceAnd I told him, "No I don't" It's so weirdIt's so weird Then he asked meDon't you ever need someoneTo put your arms aroundI said, "Hey there is no replacementFor what is gone" It's so weirdIt's so weird I tore myself upFor no rewardBehind those heavy doorsAnd I'm never gonna go back insideNothing tripping me upYou can do anything that you wantWhen you don't belong to anyone It's so weirdIt's so weird I tore myself upFor no rewardBehind those heavy doorsAnd I'm never gonna go back inside Then he looked at me and he said my nameAnd I didn't know him and I walked away It's soIt's so weird 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ashpenaz Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 What immediately comes to mind is Wings' Silly Love Songs. Love doesn't come in a minute Sometimes it doesn't come at all I only know that when I'm in it Love isn't silly at all 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
naakka Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 @United Pizza 149 I love that song! It describes so well the feeling of being ostracized and alone with an issue no-one else seems to even ever recognize. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alaska Native Manitou Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 Most of the good Enigma music or Stive Morgan music. A few of those seem sensual if anything, so don't fit. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Heather Louise Sharpe Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 On 2/29/2020 at 4:07 PM, ben8884 said: I forget who does it but "we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time." Glad I'm not the only one who thinks of this song. There are two versions that I know of Jermaine Stuart and little Chris there is a 3rd version thats a slow version but don't know who did that one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Euna Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 Quote I don't know Where I'm supposed to go So I might just Take my pride and go Some people, they know, Know everything, But I know that They don't know my heart Cause I, oh yeah I, Believe in love And I hope I can show you what I mean And I don't believe love's for me So won't you come around and prove me wrong Won't walk the world Any different, And my path won't change until you Make a wall and make me fall And break me down I don't know, I don't know If I wrote this song in vain, (In vain, in vain, in vain) I, oh yeah I, Believe in love And I hope I can show you what I mean And I don't believe love's for me So won't you come around and prove me wrong (Prove me wrong) You don't know me, And I don't know you, Tell me why should I Do all... So won't you come around and prove me wrong 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Britanica Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) Who I'd Be This is originally from a musical, but I posted a cover so the costumes aren't distracting. The song talks about what the character would be if they could be something else- and I just connected with the idea that asexuals are not in stories, you know? Most fairytales end in marriage, and as a romantic asexual I would like that, but there are moments when that feels really impossible? I think what really hits me is "An orgre always hides, an ogre's fate is known, an ogre always stays in the dark and all alone!" It is so relateable to the queer community in general... anyways, not the happiest song to relate to, but it makes my heart sing. Edited June 7, 2021 by Britanica Link didn't work. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DeadAir Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) I enjoy Tougher Than It Is by Cake, I like the idea that it's better to accept the way you are rather than try and conform to what might be expected of you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9i7PXVioeY I also ... enjoy isn't the right word exactly, maybe appreciate is more accurate, a song called This Is The Way (It Was Meant To Feel) by a band called How to Swim. It expresses a cynical view of relationships that reminds me that being alone isn't the worst thing possible. https://howtoswim.bandcamp.com/album/a-little-orgasm-of-disappointment I'll include the lyrics to both below. Spoiler Tougher Than It Is by Cake Well there is no such thing as you It doesn't matter what you do The more you try to qualify The more it all will pass you by Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is Well the more you try to shave the cat The more the thing will bite and scratch Its best I think to leave its fur And to listen to its silky purr Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is Well there is no such thing as you It doesn't matter what you do The more you try to qualify The more it all will pass you by Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is This Is The Way (It Was Meant To Feel) by How to Swim Well he calls you a saint He calls you a sinner And wouldn’t it be great if you were ten pounds thinner So you give him your hand And he gives you a ring And when he wants a reply You say the perfect thing Well lets think about this carefully Who’s too good for whom You’re as empty as each other I guess And it’s no surprise He’s looking in your eyes Thinking about someone else’s breasts And you’re no better than him Throwing up till you’re thin And imagining someone else’s bed It’d be no different with me No, I won’t disagree Good luck when he leaves you for dead Just remember, we are not ill This is the way that it was meant to feel We are not ill This is the way that it was meant to feel We are not ill This is the way that it was meant to feel We are not ill This is the way We are not ill This is the way that it was meant to feel We are not ill This is the way that it was meant to feel We are not ill This is the way that it was meant to feel We are not ill This is the way We are not ill x 20 Well he calls you a saint He calls you a sinner And wouldn’t it be great if you were ten pounds thinner So you give him your hand And he gives you a ring And when he wants a reply You say the perfect thing Edited June 8, 2021 by DeadAir 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phalena Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 Namika, Lieblingsmensch. I don't know why but it reminds so much of my bff and myself. For some reason, the song makes me think of best friends reflecting on their journey rather than a romantic song. Though I'm not even sure if it's really about romance or not. Anyway, I think the song is great! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
meggles Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 BFF by Kesha, because it's a love song about friendship 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cat_lady Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 I've always loved that song by Jermaine Stewart! "Do You Wanna Do Nothing With Me" by Lawrence is a good one, too. Not only is it a fun and creative video, but it's a happy song that mentions romance but NOTHING sexual at all. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.