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AnneBonny159

Music/songs that speak to your asexual soul?

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AnneBonny159

So music is a hugely important to me, and I'm always on the lookout for new music! I genuinely believe music can save you, it can change your life; it's certainly changed mine. 

Recently I've been looking for songs that I can relate to my asexual experience. Because I find music helps me work through things: it makes me feel less alone, and hearing someone put the things I'm feeling into far more eloquent words than I could ever express, set to music, is hugely cathartic. 

Obviously, asexuality isn't exactly something that many songs are written about, sadly. But I've managed to find a few that I feel... fit. Anyone else got any other suggestions?

Here are mine:

Candles by Daughter

"I'll do whatever you say to me in the dark // Blow out all the candles now - 'you're too old to be so shy,' he says to me so I stay the night."

 

Think of England by Bear's Den

"Do you lie back and think of England, with fireworks flashing? And learn to feign your feelings..."

"All those fires that died in our bedroom, I was out fetching wood. You know I tried my best to love you..."

(This one is particularly sad because I imagine this is exactly how my allosexual partner feels...)

 

Keep Yourself Warm by Frightened Rabbit

"It takes more than fucking someone you don't know, to keep warm// And you won't find love in a, won't find love in a hole - it takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm."

 

Plus two more slightly less bleak outlooks...

 

This Is Me by Keala Settle

"I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me"

 

Brave by Sara Bareilles

 

"Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave//
Innocence, your history of silence won't do you any good - did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty - why don't you tell them the truth?"
 
Feel free to add any more - lyrics, what the songs mean to you, experiences/memories you associate with them, etc! 
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KathyHoh
It's My Life
This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
It's my life
This is for the ones who stood their ground
It's for Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain't enough
You've got to make your own breaks
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want
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wyrdwyrm

Unloveable by Babybird is one of my favorites

I've tried
And you've tried
You've cried
And I've cried
I've lied
And you've lied
Together we've died
But sometimes
Sometimes it gotta stop
I'm cold when you're cold
I'm warm when you're warm
We were friends
We're still friends
That's all
That's all
That's all
You can't love me
I'm unloveable
But baby you could try
It's all good, it's not bad
It's all smiles, it's not sad
There's just time to stop love
Love's gone, move on
Life's long
You can't love me
I'm unloveable
But baby you could try
Sha la
Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la
Sha la
Love's so sweet it suffocates us
Like a sickly kindly gag
And we're floating down the sewer pipe
Like kittens in a bag
And the mirror screams to both of us
That we are not alone
Then the metaphors explode
And suddenly we're home
You can't love me
I'm unloveable
But baby you could try
I can't love you
You're so loveable
But baby let me try
You can't love me
I'm unloveable
But baby you could try
I can't love you
You're so loveable
But baby let me try
 
Splendid Isolation by Warren Zevon
 

Splendid Isolation
I don't need no one
Splendid Isolation

 

Don't want to wake up with no one beside me
Don't want to take up with nobody new
Don't want nobody coming by without calling first
Don't want nothing to do with you

 

The Girl with the Pre-Fabricated Heart by The Real Tuesday Weld

Her Amazon sisters were passing that way
They rushed to her aid and they saved the day
The swine! He has frightened her out of her wits
The brute! We should shoot him and tear him into bits
Wheels started turning inside her head
So from his ardent arms she fled
Girls of wax can't use devotion
They might melt if they felt an emotion
She left him bereft and wifeless
And he fell to the ground, quite lifeless
But she rides on into the dawn
On and on as her wheels revolve
A riddle whose answer none can solve
Who sends all her dreams to the laundry
Who prefers to live in a quandary
Her loneliness she must insist on
She's Isolde without a Tristan
Her groom who for doom was slated
Dissolved into tears and disintegrated
And so she rides on through the evening
As pure as she was at the start
For there's no man alive who could ever survive
A girl with a prefabricated heart
A love-proof, unbreakable heart

 

Nowhere Man by The Beatles

He's a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

 

We Don't Want Your Body by Stars

You're tuned into my frequency
That don't mean a thing to me
'Cause I don't want your body
I don't want your body

You sold me some cheap ecstasy
So you could have some sex with me
I don't want your body
I don't want your body

 

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Moderne Jazzhanden

This is all defined in terms of the other, isn't it?

 

"I don't want this: it excludes me, it makes me feel angry or isolated or sad. And hitherto I have internalised all this. But now I don't want to do this any more. So I'm not going to. Or am I? "

 

Play and repeat. 

 

"I wear black on the outside 'cause black is how I feel on the inside." 

 

And that' s it.

 

The End. 

 

Or is it?? 

 

What next??? 

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ben8884

I forget who does it but "we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time."

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Janus DarkFox
19 hours ago, ben8884 said:

I forget who does it but "we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time."

We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart - Frantic Romantic - 1986

 

Great song that doesn’t feel sexual to me :)

 

Not a word, from your lips
You just took for granted that I want to skinny dip.
A quick hit, that's your game.
But I'm not a piece of meat, stimulate my brain, no.
The night is young, so are we.
Let's just get to know each other, slow and easily, oh.
Take my hand, let's hit the floor.
Shake our bodies to the music.
Maybe then you'll score.
 
So come on baby, won't you show some class
Why do you have to move so fast?
We don't have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance and party all night
And drink some cherry wine, oh
 
Just slow down if you want me
A man wants to be approached cool and romantically, oh oh
I've got needs, uh
Just like you
And if the conversation's good
Vibrations through and through, oh
 
So come on baby, won't you show some class
Why do you have to move so fast?
We don't have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance and party all night
And drink some cherry wine, oh oh
And we don't have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh oh
We could dance and party all night
And drink some cherry wine, oh hey

Hey hey
Oh, hey
Oh
We don't have to take our clothes off, no
To have a good time
Oh oh
And we could dance and party all night, oh
And drink some cherry wine, oh
We don't have to take our clothes off, no
To have a good time
Oh oh
We could dance and party all night
And drink some cherry wine, oh

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DarkStormyKnight

hell yeah

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Atlantis

The singer's talking to his siblings, but when I listened to it for the first time I thought it could work for found family as well (if the "blood is thicker" part isn't taken literally), and focuses on more emotional connections than physical ones

 

Hey Brother by Avicii

Hey brother! There's an endless road to rediscover
Hey sister! Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Hey brother! Do you still believe in one another?
Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

What if I'm far from home?
Oh brother, I will hear you call
What if I lose it all?
Oh sister, I will help you out
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Hey brother! There's an endless road to rediscover
Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

What if I'm far from home?
Oh brother, I will hear you call
What if I lose it all?
Oh sister, I will help you out
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

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naakka

What you know 

by Two door cinema club

 

In a few weeks I will get time
To realize it's right before my eyes
And I can take it if it's what I want to do

 

I am leaving This is starting to feel like
It's right before my eyes
And I can taste it
It's my sweet beginning

 

And I can tell just what you want
You don't want to be alone
You don't want to be alone
And I can't say it's what you know
But you've known it the whole time
Yeah, you've known it the whole time

 

Maybe next year I'll have no time
To think about the questions to address

Am I the one to try to stop the fire?

 

I wouldn't test you I'm not the best you could have attained
Why try anything?
I will get there
Just remember I know

 

And I can tell just what you want
You don't want to be alone
You don't want to be alone
And I can't say it's what you know
But you've known it the whole time

Yeah, you've known it the whole time

 

And I can tell just what you want
You don't want to be alone
You don't want to be alone
And I can't say it's what you know
But you've known it the whole time
Yeah, you've known it the whole time

 

I think they meant the song to be about promiscious/uncommitted lifestyle, and the video hints about lesbian/bisexual. But I never imagined it to be related to sex life (surprise), but felt strongly vibes from the era when I still didn't know I'm aroace but kinda anticipated that dating is never going to be what I wanted even if I had the perfect chance to start right now. It was always "maybe next year". And also felt strongly the "I'm not the best you could have attained" part, I felt like I was misleading good-willing people. It's kinda bittersweet song to me.

 

Free by Elliott Yamin

 

[Verse 1]
Now that fear is out of the way
I'm starting to see myself so clear
Like a light shining into the night
Everybody has a day
When they're criticized for something
But hold on to what you believe

[Bridge]
Tell me what you're hiding from
Everybody's on the run
Movin' so fast got to slow it down and breathe
Hold fast to your dreams
And don't be afraid to fly
Alone in the sky
When you do then

[Chorus]
You'll be free
Nothing's impossible
Free (alright,alright)
You've achieved the unexplainable
Free
I believe that miracles
Happen to those
Who refuse to be told
They can happen when we least expect
So we let ourselves be free

Mmmmm
Mmm

[Verse 2]
Every chance that we take
Is one less mistake we can make
Sometimes are blessings are in disguise
Look beyond what they say
It don't really matter what they see
As long as you can believe

[Bridge]
Tell me what you're hiding from
Everybody's on the run
Moving so fast got to slow it down and breathe
Hold fast to your dreams
And don't be afraid to fly
Alone in the sky
When you do then

[Chorus]
You'll be free
Nothing's impossible
Free (alright, alright)
You've achieved the unexplainable
Free
I believe that miracles
Happen to those
Who refuse to be told
They can happen when we least expect
So we let ourselves be free

Oh oh

[Hook]
It's difficult to hold on
So easy to let go
And take the road that's least resistant
But you gotta be persistent
(I) lead and never follow
(I) don't wait for tomorrow
(I) got to do it today
Yeah

[Chorus]
Free
Nothing's impossible
Free (alright, alright)
You've achieved the unexplainable
Free
I believe that miracles
Happen to those
Who refuse to be told
They can happen when we least expect
So we let ourselves be free

Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Mmmm

 

I felt this song strongly after I found out I'm ace and began to feel more free of expectations and social pressure.

 

How soon is now by The Smiths

 

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

 

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

 

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

 

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

 

There's a club if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home and you cry
And you want to die

 

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
When exactly do you mean?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone

 

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

 

I used to listen to the T.a.t.u. version of this song as a teen, and it just felt especially close to me, the implication that you need to be loved but don't want to be loved the way people want to love you. Way later I found the original (amazing) version by the Smiths and learnt that the singer Morrissey could actually be asexual himself.

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Moderne Jazzhanden

"Oh you forward man! - not in front of baby!" 

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Jethro

 

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Nanju

Turning Out by AJR is a real aromantic/asexual mood. Not knowing if there's supposed to be a difference between friendship and romance? M O O D

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not_all_who_wander

You guys need to check out "God Help the Girl" (just the song, the movie not so much):

 

There is no way I'm looking for a boyfriend
There is no way I'm looking for a scene
I need to save some dough
I'm a working girl, you know
I'll fend attention off I keep to myself
 
I love my room, I'm getting used to sleeping
Some nights I really like to lie awake
I hear the midnight birds
The message in their words
The dawn will touch me in a way a boy could never touch
Their promise never meant so much to me
 
You have been warned, I'm born to be contrary
Backward at school, I wrote from right to left
Teacher never cared for me
Preacher said a prayer for me
God help the girl, she needs all the help she can get

 

There's a second half too that I'm not going to paste in just for the sake of not taking up the whole forum. But to me the first half is more aro ace and the second half feels kind of demirom ace? Anyway I really love this song. It's upbeat and full of a lot of beautiful optimism. And I like how it's all "God help the girl" but really it's everyone else who has a problem. 

 

 

 

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Karo

Maybe its more towards aromantic, but the song 'Never been in Love' by Will Jay includes lines like: 'I'm not missing out so don't ask me again'

 

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LegolasAroAce

Different Drum by The Stone Ponies is one I really relate to. Even though it wasn’t meant to be aro/ace, I feel like it could apply through that filter.
 

You and I travel to the beat of a diff'rent drum
Oh, can't you tell by the way I run
Every time you make eyes at me Wo oh
You cry and moan and say it will work out
But honey child I've got my doubts
You can't see the forest for the trees
So, don't get me wrong It's not that I knock it
It's just that I’m not in the market
For a boy who wants to love only me
Yes, and I ain't sayin' you ain't pretty
All I'm sayin's I'm not ready for any person
Place or thing to try and pull the reins in on me
So Goodbye, I'll be leavin'
I see no sense in the cryin' and grievin'
We'll both live a lot longer if you live without me

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dwgreatpond
On 3/10/2020 at 7:03 PM, Nanju said:

Turning Out by AJR is a real aromantic/asexual mood. Not knowing if there's supposed to be a difference between friendship and romance? M O O D

I agree. Both parts 1 and 2 give real Aro/ace vibes. 

 

Am I ready for love?
Or maybe just a best friend
Should there be a difference

 

I think I probably wasn't in love with you
I think I probably loved the idea of you

 

The 'loved the idea of you' lines in part 2 was pretty much exactly how I felt when I figured out I was Aro. 

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United Pizza 149

I really relate to I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik.

 

How can the world want me to change?

They're the ones that stay the same

 

I like those lines especially because for so long, I thought everyone was like me. Asexuality wasn't (in my perspective) a part of me, it was just the way I saw the world. So why should I have to be the one to change, when no one else does? Why should my feelings be any less real than anyone else's?

 

I also really like the line at the start:

 

I am a question to the world

Not an answer to be heard

 

This describes so much how it feels when I see that the world doesn't understand me. And that's the way it seems to be with asexuals; so many people simply don't understand us. Even if they're completely well-meaning, some still can't comprehend how a person could simply not want sex. So they will always see us as a question, one that doesn't have an answer.

 

@AnneBonny159 I also love This Is Me! It makes me wish I was more open about being ace irl...

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Ciki

I really relate to "Mortals and Fools" from the DN musical.It pretty much summs up how i feel about love and sex in general.

 

The song is between a God and a mortal but it feels like it's between an aro and a "regular" person.

 

Ok,so in this song Rem would be me (an aro ace) and Misa would be the "regular" person.

 

Anyway,here are the lyrics:

 

[Rem: Verse 1]
What I see in your eyes
Is a counterfeit emotion
Nearly true, pretty lies
Promise all you're dreaming of


Like a frog in a well
Who is sure he's in the ocean
You believe in the spell
Of this thing that you call love


[Chorus]
Try as I will, I just don't understand it
Love is for mortals and fools
Never turns out quite the way that you planned it
So why do you break all the rules?


[Verse 2: Misa]
What I feel is so real
That it sets my poor heart racing
Something you'll never know
Though you live a thousand years

[Rem]
Half a life
Is the deal to discover who you're chasing
Half a life

 

[Misa]
Even so, worth it all if he appears

[Rem, Misa: Chorus]
Try as you might, you will not understand it


[Rem]
Love is for mortals and fools


[Rem, Misa]
Never turns out quite the way that you planned it


[Misa]
Love makes you break all the rules

[Misa: Bridge]
Love can make you come alive

[Rem]
Or take your life away
Love should make you leave

[Misa]
But makes you stay
For love can make you happy
In a house where love is made

[Rem]
Then it makes you wary and afraid

 

[Rem: Chorus]
Try as I might, never will understand it
Love is for mortals and fools
Never turns out quite the way that you planned it

[Misa]
Love is for making

[Rem]
Life is for taking

[Rem, Misa]
Love makes you break all the rules
Love makes you break all the rules

 

I honestly recommend you give it a listen.The vocals are amazing,the music is amazing.Everything about this song is amazing.

 

You don't even have to see the musical,just listen to this one song.

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Ella Joy

“It’s So Weird” by Juliana Hatfield! I think it’s been said before that her songs have a lot of ace-ish themes. This one may be more aromantic than asexual, not sure, but it resonates with me anyway. 

 

My brother asked me where do you go for love
If you're all alone
Don't you need romance
And I told him, "No I don't"
It's so weird
It's so weird
Then he asked me
Don't you ever need someone
To put your arms around
I said, "Hey there is no replacement
For what is gone"
It's so weird
It's so weird
I tore myself up
For no reward
Behind those heavy doors
And I'm never gonna go back inside
Nothing tripping me up
You can do anything that you want
When you don't belong to anyone
It's so weird
It's so weird
I tore myself up
For no reward
Behind those heavy doors
And I'm never gonna go back inside
Then he looked at me and he said my name
And I didn't know him and I walked away
It's so
It's so weird

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ashpenaz

What immediately comes to mind is Wings' Silly Love Songs.

 

Love doesn't come in a minute

Sometimes it doesn't come at all

I only know that when I'm in it

Love isn't silly at all

 

 

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naakka

@United Pizza 149 I love that song! It describes so well the feeling of being ostracized and alone with an issue no-one else seems to even ever recognize.

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